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Open letter to “feminists”

Dear Femtard Morons –

Yes, I call you this, and I’ve put “feminist” in quotes as the title of this post, implying you’re frauds, because you can hardly be compared to the strong, free, independent women who are your predecessors and who paved the way for women’s equal rights. The only thing you have in common with these heroes are your vaginas…

… and even that’s no longer a guarantee, given that there are those among you who were born with a penis, but have claimed your gender as their own. 

For the record, I don’t consider you simpering, triggered, vacuous, perpetually offended, pussy hat-wearing femtards, hiding behind your plumbing (or in some cases bathing in mea culpas for the crime of being born with male “privilege”) and eschewing actual accomplishments and hard work, feminists. 

You want to be considered strong without actually working to become so. 

You want recognition as equal to men without working to make your accomplishments equal to men’s. 

You think you’re entitled to the world without earning the world, because you own a twat (sometimes).

You think your perpetual offense entitles you to consideration and respect. 

And you think your faults should be revered, because you happen to have two X chromosomes, instead of working to overcome them. You use your ostensible “feminism” as an excuse for your failures, while demanding special treatment because of it. 

When you have purged the last vestiges of anything that could possibly chafe your fragile labia from society’s lexicon, entertainment venues, schools, and workplaces, you are compelled find new sources of butthurt, because otherwise you will no longer be able to quell your feelings of entitlement by shaming others into worshipping at the altar of your inadequacies. 

Well, I’m here to tell you I’ve stopped paying attention to your impotent squeaks a long time ago. 

When everything is offensive, nothing is, and you’ve ceased being relevant. 

Want proof?

Two words: Wonder Woman

Apparently, the paragon of feminine strength, virtue, and beauty is giving you whining shrews heartburn, because ARMPITS! She shaved her armpits!!! 

And because you blithering harpies decided that armpit hair is “feminist,” anything that doesn’t toe your arbitrary line doesn’t qualify and must be offensive!

“FAKE FEMINISM!” screeches someone whose Twitter avatar is a man. (Let’s hope this was sarcasm, but you just never know in this crazy world.)

“I just don’t buy the idea that #Wonderwoman would shave her armpits,” squeaks another alleged “man,” who calls himself @anothernewdad. 

Others weren’t “offended” per se, but had to air their armpit disagreement. 

“controversial hot take: i wish #WonderWoman had visible armpit hair. she was raised on an island of women w/no schick advertisements”

And this, dear feminists – both male and female – is why no one takes you seriously. 

I love Wonder Woman. As a kid, I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I wanted to be smart, dedicated, independent, and strong. I wanted to save the country again and again. And as a fan, I’m squealing with excitement about the Wonder Woman movie coming out this summer!

And you screeching morons are ruining it, much like you spoil everything that’s fun, everything that’s exciting, and everything that doesn’t comport with your crazed, unhinged view of the world – a view that tosses economics, science, common sense, decency, and logic under the bus in favor of faux indignation, abdication of personal responsibility, and sanction of anyone who dares to disagree with you as an oppressive member of the patriarchy. 

I don’t consider you part of my definition of feminism. I don’t like you. I hate the fact that you insist on sticking your protruding probosces into everything I’ve ever enjoyed and reinvent it into dull-witted, boring, vaginal superiority- and identity politics-filled garbage a la the all-femme “Ghostbusters.”

You want to invent brand new gender identities for yourselves? Be my guest. That’s the very definition of a free country. But don’t think for a moment you will force me to accept your self-identification as a coffee table, and don’t think for a moment I will take your self-righteous whining as a cue to suspend reality in favor of your twisted worldview. 

You want to color your unshaven pit hair in all the colors of the rainbow? Great! Go for it. But don’t you dare stick your unwashed, unshaven armpits in my face and demand I accept them and worship them as beautiful. 

I don’t care if you’re triggered. 

I don’t care if you’re offended. 

I don’t care if Diana Prince has clean shaven armpits in the Wonder Woman movie. She’s a fictional character. Get over it. 

I don’t care if you’re offended that Major Motoko Kusanagi won’t be Asian in the movie adaptation of “Ghost in the Shell.” She’s a fictional character with lots of “shells” as her cyborg bodies. She could be anyone. 

I don’t care about your precious feelings, just as you don’t care about the feelings of millions of people who don’t toe your ideological line and go as far as to marginalize their experiences and lives because they’re part of the whole cisheteropatriarchy garbage boogieman you have created and taught yourselves to despise. 

Stop trying to ruin my fun!

A pissed off woman 

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Shave that POS

Preferably with a chainsaw.

Fort Hood gunman Nidal Hassan decided that he was going all Muslim lately, so he’s refusing to shave. The military is having none of that.

The military judge who will oversee the trial of the man accused in the 2009 Fort Hood massacre ruled Wednesday that if Maj. Nidal Hasan doesn’t shave by the start of jury selection, he will be forcibly shaved.

Col. Gregory Gross has been telling Hasan he must shave, in accordance with Army regulations. Hasan, who is a Muslim, has refused to shave for more than a month, apparently in keeping with Quranic teachings.

So he was OK in keeping with uniform and appearance standards prior to the shooting, when he was advocating terrorism against American troops by the followers of the Religion of Peace in his capacity as a US Army military officer. Now all of a sudden, he claims he can’t for religious reasons?

Fuck that!

He’s still in the military, and is still subject to appearance standards under AR 670-1. There should be no special dispensation for that murderous bag of fetid swine jizz. Shave him forcibly if need be.

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