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Tag Archives: holiday cup

Shut up and drink your coffee!

So apparently, as the holiday season approaches, so does the new Starbucks cup, as well as the accompanying outrage from overly-sensitive dipshits.

Lemme explain.

Last year, Starbucks introduced its holiday cup in a solid red. That’s it. Nothing there. Just red.

That caused some Special Snowflakes to get butthurt, because somehow Starbucks took away Christmas or some shit.

Now, we all know Twitter is stupid. It is a magnet for the world’s biggest fuckwits, who band together to produce megatons of shitgittery. The idiots who consider their 140-character thoughts oh-so-deep somehow think their profound brain droppings will prompt social change.

We all know how effective hashtag foreign policy is, don’t we?

I will also readily admit that probably a good portion of Twitter idiots who experienced chafed labia about the plain red cup last year were probably trolls – 4chan or otherwise. (This is for the commenter who will immediately screech that I’m ignoring the possibility that some groups out there are out to make right wingers look bad!)

But it looks like the morons are at it again this year.

Whether they’re protesting in earnest, or merely trying to get some attention with their stupid, it seems like tis the season for abject dumbassery.

Starbucks just introduced a green cup – IN TIME FOR THE ELECTION – that tries to promote some unity at a time when we are incredibly divided as a country. The green cup has friends, baristas, and customers drawn in one continuous line, symbolizing unity.

Some people apparently did not like this. At. All.

Some people were confused by the concept of unity.

Yet others thought it was a Muslim plot to destroy the free world through brainwashing or some shit.

 

I don’t know what Barstool Sports is, but I think they’re confused.

This twatmold is apparently confused about what, exactly, our shared values are.

This one was upset. Not for any political reason, apparently, but because they don’t like green or something?

Phil here can’t help himself. Apparently, everything is a liberal plot.

These two are upset that there’s liberal propaganda in the non-holiday cup, instead of coffee.

Tell ya what, Arch. Stop pushing your “conservative” bullshit, and drink coffee.

As with the Like Cage outrage, it’s possible that trolls have decided once again to paint an enormous “STUPID” sign on the backs of American society, but it is also entirely possible that there people out there who really are this ridiculous.

After all, have you seen the perpetually chapped asses on the part of the social justice howler monkeys over the years? Everything from Mexican food to Halloween costumes chafes their delicate labia! Is it really so difficult to believe that we have screeching hemorrhoids on the right as well?

starbucksAnd by the way, the green cups are not the holiday cups, apparently. Starbucks, trying to be a good neighbor, has decided to put out a special edition election cup as a reminder that we are one country and connected to one another. The actual holiday cups, I hear, are coming out after November 10, and they’re kind of pretty. They’ve got holly and leaves, and are pretty festive.

But don’t let that stop the perpetually offended from taking their money elsewhere! If there wasn’t something out there to get angry about, what the hell would they do with their time?

Do me a favor, morons. Just drink your coffee and shut the fuck up!

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