Tag Archives: elections

Maturity abounds… not!

You know, I’m not a fan of Donald Trump. Yeah, I know, you’re all shocked by this. But while I find the Hairy Hemorrhoid™ about as appealing a presidential candidate as the hobo who hangs out at the bus stop near my house and mutters incoherently to himself, there’s a part of me that’s pretty appalled at the level of discourse regarding this year’s elections. The hysterical rhetoric, the violent protests, the threats… what the hell?

I’ve generally kept my criticisms of all the candidates to the issues. Yes, I have my favorite moniker for Trump, but again, for me it’s about the issues. I don’t engage in emotionalist dumbshittery that’s not based in any kind of fact. That’s not the way I operate.

Not so with certain celebutards who are trying to claw their way out of irrelevancy. Not satisfied with the first time their career swirled the shitter after they insulted the President of the United States during what is supposed to be a fun event – a concert – the Dixie Chicks are at it again.


This was apparently on the screen during their song “Goodbye Earl.”

No, really. A song about a victim of domestic violence who, along with her best friend, finally kills her abusive husband after he “walked right through that restraining order and put her in intensive care,” had a photo of the presumptive GOP presidential nominee with childish horns drawn on it while they played said song at a concert.

This is the height of stupid. Trump may be a boor, a narcissist, a clueless demagogue who would embarrass this country on the national stage, and a complete ignorant when it comes to policy, but a violent wife abuser? Is that what the accusation is supposed to mean?

No, in a classless attempt at reviving their hasbeenery and shining the spotlight on themselves, the Dixie Chicks poked their pointy little heads out of the trash bin of life to which they had been relegated the last time they tried to make a political statement irrelevant to anything having to do with their music, and stuck their feet right back into their mouths.

They just can’t help themselves. They apparently needed the attention, and thought the quickest, most effective way to get it would be to capitalize on the blazing dumpster fire that is this year’s election season.

I think what they are going to accomplish more than anything is drive more angry voters to Trump. We, as a country, aren’t known for our calm rationality when it comes to our elections. We get angry and sometimes fling poo like angry chimps. In this case, the poo is one Donald J. Trump, and the angry chimps are the voters who are so sick and tired of celebutards and establishment hacks telling them what to do and deciding for them what this country’s political landscape will look like, that they will fling that turd all the way to the voting booth.

I’m embarrassed to admit I actually liked some of the Dixie Chicks’ earlier music. As an AFN disc jockey, I did the country music show, which broadcast Europe-wide and beyond. After I left the Army, I worked for a country music station. It grew on me. But much like with any other celebrity, I’m there for the art, not the witless political commentary.

You want a Trump presidency? This is how you get a Trump presidency! You block the roads to his rallies. You physically assault his supporters, get physically assaulted in retaliation, and draw media attention once again to the Trumpster fire. Instead of a discussion of policy, you stamp your little feet and hurl ad hominems. You irrationally compare Trump to Satan, and childishly draw horns on his photograph at a concert. You piss off an already angry electorate and send them to the polls in droves to vote for the very candidate you’re trying to demonize, because that’s how they roll.

You want to make Trump look more sympathetic? This is how you make Trump look more sympathetic!

Now, back in the bin with you bimbos!

You want to lose hope for humanity? This is how you lose hope for humanity.

hopeI had to step back for a few days and not write. It feels weird how everything is crumbling around me. Two of the most unsavory characters possible are now the major party nominees for president. I see no difference between them. They’re both corrupt. They’re both noxious. They’re both authoritarian lovers of tyranny. One of them will be president.

As my parents like to say, “We came to this country to escape tyranny and statism, and now it seems to have followed us here.” What the hell?

The NRA has issued its enthusiastic early endorsement to the very man who once accused the organization of being uncompromising and criticized it for refusing “even limited restrictions.”

Cultural icons of my youth are systematically being demolished in the name of diversity – really a cover for lack of originality, but who’s going to look closely at that?

Ghostbusters now features four women with not even a nod to the classic original.

There are rumblings about making James Bond into a female.

Captain America – Steve Rogers – the quintessential fighter for good, for freedom, for American principles – has been revealed by Marvel to have been a Hydra agent all along. What in the everloving, freezing, snot-dripping fuck, Marvel??? I know this is the age of shock, where entertainment enterprises compete for who can provide the most shock value to the audience in order to keep themselves “fresh” and “original,” but seriously, WHAT? This isn’t fresh and original. This is a blatant attempt to generate buzz and appear edgy, when in fact, you’re just full of FAIL!

In the past few years we’ve seen reboots of everything from Total Recall to Star Trek to Star Wars. I’ll admit I’ve enjoyed at least the Star Trek and Star Wars flicks, but I found Total Recall to be a boring, dark, humorless fail. The remake of Point Break was an unwatchable, dull mess. Godzilla wasn’t as horrible as it could have been. Casting Godzilla as a character that is actually neutral and inadvertently winds up saving humanity from Mothra is not a bad way to revive the genre.

Further proof that Hollywood has run out of creative juices shows us planned reboots and remakes of classics such as Porky’s, An American Werewolf in London, Logan’s Run, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, and Stephen King’s It, which makes me want to issue a collective throat punch to every Hollywood producer involved in these unoriginal dumpster fires.

In other news that makes my soul die, 23 competitors in the 2012 London Olympic Games from five different sports and six different countries tested positive for doping, and  31 athletes (14 of whom were Russians) from the 2008 Games had also tested positive following re-examination of their samples. I get the competition is stiff, but the naive kid in me always viewed these games as a beautiful, unifying event. Way to crush my hopes and dreams, assholes!

Maybe I just need to stay the hell away from the Internet for a few weeks.

We can only hope

Well, if this isn’t a reason to vote for Cruz, Bernie, Hillary, Gary Johnson, Kasich, Big Bird, or the mold under your toilet seat for President, I don’t know what is!

Well, bye!

Well, bye!

“They fight like hell for six months, and they’re saying horrible things, the worst things you can imagine,” Trump said during a rally in Maryland on Sunday.

“And then one of them loses, one of them wins. And the one who loses says, ‘I just want to congratulate my opponent. He is a brilliant man, he’ll be a great governor or president or whatever,'” he said.

“I’m not sure you’re ever going to see me there. I don’t think I’m going to lose, but if I do, I don’t think you’re ever going to see me again, folks. I think I’ll go to Turnberry and play golf or something.”

It’s called being gracious. It’s called being a classy human being. It’s called conceding with dignity.  I’m not sure the Hairy Hemorrhoid™ knows anything about those principles.

Now, I have my doubts this guy will ever fade into obscurity, given the size of his ego and his near-obsessive need to remain in the limelight and prove his “greatness” to anyone who will pay attention, but if he upholds this promise, I will be right there voting for anyone but Trump!

But more likely than not, he will still be around, like a persistent sort of toenail fungus, doling out money to politicians on both sides of the political aisle in order to advance his business interests, telling TV pundits how he supports bailouts such as TARP, and testifying in opposition to tax cuts.

Down at the 7-11

Apparently there’s a 7-Eleven at the World Trade Center, and the Hairy Hemorrhoid™ was out there watching the police and firemen there.

Them damn Slurpees. They’re irresistible!

Yeah, I know. It’s a verbal gaffe. It happens. As a former broadcaster, I certainly have made my share.

But this isn’t about Dumbkopf’s gaffe, although it’s amusing on its face.

Do you remember this recent townhall in which the Hemorrhoid mocked Ted Cruz for his verbal gaffe calling Florida his home state?

“His home state is not Florida, it is Texas,” he told host Anderson Cooper during a CNN townhall in Milwaukee.

“It might be Canada,” Trump quipped, mocking Cruz’s birthplace.

“He didn’t even know what state he comes from. Fort Hood is from Texas by the way. I am so surprised, Anderson, that you let him get away with it.”

Trump didn’t just say it once. He repeated the gaffe several times, and hammered away at Cooper for letting Cruz get away with the rather silly mistake.

Well, karma is a bitch, ain’t she? A bigger bitch than Trump, if that’s at all possible. And Twitter – his favorite platform for launching attacks at his opponents – has been rife with mock and ridicule.

Awwww, poor Donald! His frothing supporters were out in droves yesterday, defending their hero.

711It’s a word mix-up!

Get a job!

It was just a verbal gaffe!

Yes, it was, boys and girls. Maybe next time your Hairy Hemorrhoid™ buddy will remember that as well.

Because what goes around, comes around.


Trumpanzees showing themselves to be as classless as their Cheeto-colored deity

I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. A good portion of Trump supporters are merely angry, disgruntled voters who are on the warpath to burn the establishment to the ground. Many are just outright racist scum. Yet more are uninformed ignorami who somehow think that a guy who has spent his life paying off politicians to further his business interests, and spent the election season showing his ignorant ass at every turn, will somehow hire enough wise advisers and grow enough commitment to his nebulous set of values to be their savior from the dickless, feckless GOP establishment to which they’ve become accustomed.

But there are some… the Trumpanzees – conscienceless, indecent, turd-flinging primates, who go into automatic attack mode anytime their Orange-tinted deity is criticized. Witness the savage horde of vicious Trumpanzees attacking Mary Katharine Ham after she wrote a complimentary article about Ivanka Trump, who exhibits class and grace, especially when compared to her screeching, shrieking, classless trash daddy.

MK is a Fox News contributor whose husband was killed in a biking accident here in Virginia a few months ago. She was left a widow, pregnant with the couple’s second child.

Well, you can guess what happened after the tweet was posted.

trumpdumbFirst up, a creepy shrew from Florida whose Twitter profile looks like the receiving room of a cheap bordello and whose profile photo shrieks “TRAILER TRASH FAN GIRL!”


Then there’s this coward, who describes himself as a “Trump devotee,” “anti anti-white” and wants to “eradicate Islam.”

Keep it classy, trash mouth.

And then there’s this bit of fuckery.

And when someone pointed out that MK was actually complimenting Ivanka Trump, this shit goblin’s response was the ever original “Fuck you.”

Welcome to the Trump election season, where threatening delegates if they don’t support the Orange One seems to be OK

Where manhandling a reporter and then engaging in a campaign of character assassination is preferable to issuing a simple apology…

And where pitching a puerile hissy fit after losing a primary battle is considered acceptable behavior.

Is this what we’ve come to?

I guess so.

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