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Category Archives: you can’t fix stupid

Does this crazy bitch get paid for this?

A couple of weeks ago, I was walking to the office from the metro, when I saw a tiny little creature sprawled on the sidewalk next to a tall tree in LaFayette Park. It was a tiny black squirrel baby, and he was teetering around on his tiny little squirrel legs, apparently still too young to run around. I assessed he had fallen out of the tree, or was pushed out by his siblings.

I stopped.

He stumbled over to me and just sat in front of me.

I bent down to stroke his soft little back, and he didn’t run away.

I wasn’t sure what to do, so I called DC animal control, because I was afraid inattentive humans, whether walking with their noses in their phones or riding their bikes would run the tiny little guy over. The nice man on the other end of the line was probably amused at my near-panicked concern about this teeny creature, and told me to pick him up and place him near the tree out of the way of pedestrians and bikes. (Yes, I assumed the squirrel’s gender, and in my head I named him George)

While I was on the phone with animal control, George decided to clumsily climb onto my foot and play with the buckle on my shoe! George was obviously a very brave baby squirrel.

This is George. He looks much bigger in this photo than he actually was. He was roughly the size of my palm.

After hanging up with animal control, I scooped George up into my hands and carried him to the tree, away from uncaring humans and speeding bicyclists. George sat in my cupped hands and made little squeaky squirrel noises. He sniffed me and may have taken a tiny little nibble of my thumb. He didn’t break the skin; I think he was just trying to figure out what I was. I looked closely at George’s tiny little face, resisted the urge to take him to the office with me wrapped in my suit jacket, and placed him next to the tree.

George was a black squirrel, or an eastern fox squirrel, apparently native to eastern and southeastern United States.

I never considered George’s color, nor what he ate. I thought about bringing him some nuts. I know we have all kinds of squirrels in LaFayette Park, including ginger, grey, and black ones. He looks grey-ish in this photo, but he actually was a little black critter.

But apparently, I should have noticed, because eastern fox squirrels are ostensibly the victims of RACISM! The media is apparently biased against black squirrels!

How do I know this? Because some bored, attention-seeking, perpetually aggrieved sow of an “associate professor” (emphasis mine) at California State Polytechnic University says so, and has done an entire research paper on the topic! No, I’m not kidding. I wish I was. Get a load at this word salad.

Drawing on feminist food studies and feminist posthumanist theories of intersectionality and performativity, this article draws out the implications of a feminist posthumanist politics of consumption for animal geography and feminist geography.

[…]

By juxtaposing feminist posthumanist theories and feminist food studies scholarship this article demonstrates how eastern fox squirrels: (1) are subjected to gendered, racialized, and speciesist thinking as a result of their feeding/eating practices, their unique and unfixed spatial arrangements in the greater Los Angeles region, and the western, modernist human frame through which humans interpret these actions (Deckha 2012; Hovorka 2015; Lloro-Bidart 2016) and (2) ontologically defy society’s boundedness as they demand the freedom to eat whatever they choose in the city.

This is how far the Covenant of the Chafed Cunt is willing to dig to find offense, racism, marginalization, and other “evidence” of just how depraved our society is. This “professor” dug through 18 months’ worth of news articles, blogs, government publications, and other sources to find evidence for her contention that eastern fox squirrels are the victims of RAAAAACISM in California, when viewed through the feminist lens.  She claims that because most of the popular news articles maligned these little guys for their feeding habits, she figured she’d focus her lens of feminist rage on this particular issue.

…eastern fox squirrels’ consumption of bird eggs and baby birds and mammals has similarly made them the target of conservationists in southern CA. In this case, instead of ‘concerns about cruelty’ related to the killing of animals for food becoming ‘a vehicle for ethnocentrism and even imperialism,’ (Kim 2015, 83), such concerns become a vehicle for conservationists to displace their own concerns about species loss in the greater Los Angeles region onto the eastern fox squirrel.

[…]

These connections between the eastern fox squirrel’s eating of ‘everything’ and the fecundity of the [nonnative] squirrel resonate with what Subramaniam calls the ‘oversexed female’ narrative, where ‘[f]oreign women are typically associated with superfertility – reproduction gone amuck’ (2001, 31).

In other words, this perpetually aggrieved, constantly searching for offense, word vomit spewing bobblehead is claiming her funhouse mirror feminist telescope is showing her that poor eastern fox squirrels are being discriminated against on the West Coast.

In the process she disgorges SJW buzzwords such as “intersectionality,” “feminism,” “power,” “ethnocentrism,” and “resistance” in order to show how our views of fat women color Angelinos’ views of darker squirrels… because they’re gendered, racialized, and speciesist… or something.

Really. Is this freak pickle getting paid to spew this shit?

Interesting note: I wanted to see what else this creature has spewed, but her social media and her website have all mysteriously disappeared.

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Dear Joss, Take Some Lithium

Joss Whedon has become legitimately unhinged. He made no secret of the fact that he didn’t like Donald Trump and didn’t support him for President. He bankrolled a $1 million celebrity campaign warning voters away from Trump during the 2016 election, he used social media to spread the message, and relied on his celebrity capital and A-list celeb buddies to spread the message far and wide.

It didn’t work. Trump is still president. And Joss has become completely unglued and somewhat hysterical.

He linked to a story about gay people reportedly being killed simply for their sexual preference.

Authorities in the southern Russian republic of Chechnya have reportedly kidnapped dozens of gay men in the past month and killed at least three as part of an roundup ordered against LGBT people there.

As horrific as that sounds, Whedon suggests it could soon be worse for gay people stateside.

Seriously. What the fuck, Joss? Have you lost your everloving mind?

For all his faults, Trump is actually damn good about leaving gay people alone to live and love as they please and supporting equal rights for LGBT people. He has no problem with gay people getting married, and has said so publicly. He was the first and only GOP presidential contender to publicly state that people should be able to use whatever bathroom they see fit, and he nominated openly gay Richard Grenell to become the next U.S. Ambassador to NATO!

Good lord! That’s about as far from killing people for their sexual preference as you can get without actually being gay!

But, of course, that won’t stop Joss from losing his shit on social media, because TRUMP! REPUBLICANS! DERP!

Look, Joss. I like your work. I liked Buffy and Dollhouse, and I’m a dedicated Firefly fan. I think you’re doing a great job for Marvel, and I love the Avengers movies. (Note: Agents of Shield blows goat dong, just sayin’.)

I think you’re a talented producer and entertainer, and I’ve enjoyed your work over the years.

But you need to get a hold of your quivering testes, and chill the hell out. You’re embarrassing yourself.

At no point did Trump ever exhibit anti-gay behavior. (And no, Pence doesn’t count. The “gay conversion” garbage was debunked months ago.)

And not only that, but if you’re comparing our system of government to that of Chechnya, which is led by a criminal thug, who is fond of torture, and who thinks Russia should outright attack Georgia and Ukraine and whose government claimed the alleged murder of gay men in Chechnya was nothing but an April Fool’s joke, you need mental help.

The United States is a bicameral, constitutional Republic. Chechnya is a third world shithole, partly controlled by Russia, and partly run by the criminal thug mentioned above, who seeks to impose Islamic law on all who live there, who banned alcohol and gambling and forced women to wear headscarves, and who publicly spoke in favor of polygamy and declared that lessons in the Koran and Sharia should be obligatory at Chechen schools. Add to that the absurd claim that gay people don’t exist in Chechnya, and it was therefore impossible to execute any of them, and you have shades of crazy that matched Iran’s Imadinnerjacket, who also claimed Iran didn’t have gay people.

In other words, Joss, the comparison is so absurd, that I have to wonder about your mental health.

I didn’t vote for Trump either. I didn’t support him, and I continue to criticize him when appropriate.

That’s what sane people do, Joss.

Unhinged lunatics like you, go on inane, rambling, paranoid tirades that have no grounding in reality, and make the rest of us embarrassed to be part of the same human race as you.

Perhaps you should spend a little more time condemning the government of Chechnya (such that it is) for this atrocity, and less time spewing outlandish speculations about a guy you don’t like, who happens to be the President. Oh, wait… I forgot. Chechnya is Muslim. I guess you can’t possibly condemn that, right, Joss?

Perhaps some lithium might do you good.

Here’s a “Revelation”

Chelsea Handler is a moron.

I didn’t even know who this daft bint was until she saw it fit to rudely ridicule Melania Trump’s foreign accent in January. Handler, you see, doesn’t like 45 too much, and even helped lead a women’s march in Utah after his inauguration. OK, he’s not for everyone. I get that.

But this dried up hag went a step further when asked if she would ever have the First Lady on her show.  “To talk about what? She can barely speak English.”

For the record, Melania Trump was born in Slovenia, and speaks Slovenian, English, French, Serbian and German. I wonder how many languages Chelsea Handler can speak – other than retard.

Apparently, only English, and even that is lacking, judging from her tweet about Eric Trump’s announcement that he and his wife are expecting their first baby.

Those jeans! Those terrible jeans! Let’s hope they’re not the mom jeans with the plastic panels on the knees, because those are horrible!

I shouldn’t be surprised at the ignorance of this screeching slag, I suppose. It does bother me, as an immigrant, as someone who speaks multiple languages, and someone who obviously has better command of the English language than this Handler knobgobbler, that she would stoop so low as to ridicule someone whose first language is something other than English, and who obviously is more educated and accomplished than this sow, as something less than literate.

My mom has an engineering degree. She speaks Russian, English, and Ukrainian. She does have an accent, and she is embarrassed by it – so much, that she will still ask me to make phone calls for her when I’m around, even though she’s lived in this country since 1980, and even though her English is just fine. My dad has two Masters degrees in engineering, and has spent his life working his way up after coming to this country with practically no English. He also speaks Russian, Polish, Yiddish, some French, some German, and Ukrainian. Handler has a high school diploma, sucked copious amounts of cock to get where she is, and is now using her significant soapbox to malign immigrants who happen to be married to a President she doesn’t like and said President’s children. People like Handler are part of the reason why making a simple phone call stresses my mom out. I find Handler’s comments particularly galling, given the fact that her own mother was a German immigrant.

As a kid, I was particularly scared to go to school each day, because I was the only Russian-speaking immigrant in the class, because my English was crap, and because my classmates knew very little about the Cold War other than “Russia is bad.” I couldn’t communicate with them. They didn’t understand why I wore the same clothes every day, why I brought only a meager lunch to school with me, why we couldn’t afford the candy and chips they all gobbled at lunchtime, and why the teacher, for the most part, ignored me, even when I knew the answer to a question she posed, mostly by muscling through the work and trying to understand it through context.

To make matters worse after tweeting about Eric Trump’s jeans, and proving herself to be not quite as dumb as a box of hammers and not nearly as useful, the nitwit doubled down on showing just how much of an imbecile she is by blaming her apparent drug use for the spelling error.

Apparently correct language usage goes out the window when what’s left of one’s grey matter is addled by the wacky tobacky, as does one’s sense of decency.

Weed is apparently not a new thing for Handler, who a year or so ago got stoned for her Netflix documentary series “Chelsea Does.” Because apparently drugs are just “fun to do,” says the celebutard bimbo. “I want to show people what happens when you get fucked ed-up.”

Here’s Funbags McDumbass with Snoop Dogg, tokin up like a beast.

Well, here’s what happens. You get stoned, you get the munchies, you can’t find any stale Doritos in your pad, you grab some kitty litter and eat that, washing it down with some cheap vodka, and then you tweet at the President’s son, while mangling the English language, while conveniently forgetting that you denigrated the First Lady – an immigrant, which is a class of people whom you ostensibly support, and which includes your own mom – for her apparently poor English skills, and you get ridiculed.

A lot.

How do you say “Crazy Fucking Bitch” in West African?

That would be more appropriate than “Nkechi Amare Diallo,” which is the new name of Rachel Dolezal, which apparently means “Gift of God” in West African.

The 39-year-old filed to adopt the West African moniker in Washington State … according to Daily Mail. Nkechi is short for Nkechinyere in the Nigerian language of Igbo, and translates to “gift of god.”

Her new last name, Diallo, comes from the Fula people of West Africa and means “bold” … which seems all too fitting for the artist formerly known as Rachel.

This lying psycho is the gift that keeps on giving. Like a bad case of the herp, she just continues her outbreaks of stupid – as if no one will figure out who she is when she applies for jobs with this new moniker!

She started a Change.org petition in October urging the TEDx organization to post one of her controversial speeches from April, 2016 at the University of Idaho. She listed the petition under Nkechi Diallo, never mentioning her birth name.

Instead of learning from the experience and doing some serious introspection, this mental case has decided to double down on the stupid. She’s not sorry. She doesn’t care that she lied to thousands, while faking the African American experience. She just wants to continue lying and pretending to be something she’s not.

crazy-bitchShe’s better off doing the porn she claims she was offered. I’m sure there are severely damaged freaks who are into spray tan crazy chick pretending to be black. It’s a limited market, but she’d be a big fish in a small pond.

Kind of like Lobster Porn Crazy McZucchini Tits.

A Market for Bullshit

So the New York Times writes a piece about 45’s CPAC speech quoting him as having “included a promise to throw undocumented immigrants ‘the hell out of the country.'”

Only that was actually an outright lie, as caught by the Gateway Pundit. 

Trump said no such thing, according to the transcript of his speech. 

We are also going to save countless American lives. As we speak today, immigration offers are finding the gang members, the drug dealers and the criminal aliens and throwing them the hell out of our country.

So what he said was that drug dealers and criminal aliens are getting tossed “the hell out of our country.”

So is the NYT guilty of the very thing of which they accuse Trump – of being a bigoted asshole who pigeonholes all “undocumented” immigrants into the “violent drug dealer” box? 

Because it certainly sounds like that’s what the New York Times is doing. They paraphrased the President’s speech and took his words, which referred very specifically to a certain type of alien, and applied them to “undocumented immigrants” writ large. 

This says more about the “journalist” who wrote the piece – Glenn Thrush – than it does about Trump. 

Very telling. 

And, yes, I’m perfectly aware that they’re simply trying to paint the President as a bigot by misquoting him. Question is, how many believe it? If there wasn’t a market for bullshit, the crap would fly. 

Take, for example, the flag flap. Apparently, the Russian flags with Trump’s name on them were handed out prior to the 45’s CPAC speech by Democratic operatives. Question is, why did so many CPAC attendees take them and proceed to wave them around?

Because there’s a market for bullshit. They were either too ignorant to know what the Russian flag looks like, or they didn’t care, and grabbed it in their frothing zeal to show Trump their blind adoration. 

Whatever the reason, they grabbed up those flags. And whatever the reason, those anxious to believe that Trump is a an anti-immigration bigot, would immediately believe the NYT piece without doing any fact checking. 

The fact that the quote is utter bullshit doesn’t matter. It supports their preconceived notions, so it’s good to go. 

If there wasn’t a market for bullshit, it wouldn’t exist. 

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