Category Archives: Parenting

Adoptive parents – the love is real

There was a dust-up a couple of days ago, because some NBC dick weasel sportscaster was forced to apologize publicly for suggesting that Olympic superstar Simone Biles’ adopted parents weren’t really her parents.

Ron and Nellie Biles adopted Simone and her younger sister, Adria, in 2001. The girls had spent time in foster care as Shanon Biles, their biological mother and Ron’s daughter, struggled with drugs and alcohol.

[Al] Trautwig referred to Ron and Nellie as Biles’ grandparents on Sunday’s NBC primetime broadcast. When a woman tweeted Trautwig to say that he should call them her parents, he tweeted: “They may be mom and dad but they are NOT her parents.”

This is what makes a family.

This is what makes a family.

For those of you who don’t know, Daniel is my biological son, but Sarah is adopted. She and her sister came to live with us after my now-deceased junkie half-brother and his wife gave them up. Things were not easy – especially with the older child. There was counseling, tears, terror, malnutrition and neglect that needed to be addressed. I’m not telling you this because I somehow am demanding credit for my struggles.

Sarah turned out to be an incredible person! She’s bright, kind, determined, intelligent, honorable, and intent on bettering herself. She’s a US Marine. She’s a pillar of strength and integrity, and she loves her family. I couldn’t be prouder to be her mom if I actually gave birth to her myself! (Actually, I’m glad I didn’t. She was kind of a chubster as a baby! *joking!*)

Sarah started calling me “Mom” when she was about 8 years old. Her sister, on the other hand, alternated between “mom,” “bitch,” and “my dad’s kid sister.” (I’m OK with it. I did the best I could with that one.) Not once did I think Sarah was any different from Daniel as far as my children were concerned. Not once did I consider her any less my child! She was mine. I raised her. I loved and cared for her. She is just as much my kid as Daniel.

And frankly, while I don’t get upset at much – I’m certainly not a perpetually offended snowflake – this is one issue that really grates on me. Adoptive parents open their hearts. They don’t have to love a child. They choose to. It doesn’t matter that the child doesn’t have our biology, our heart embraces them just the same.

Shitting out a kid isn’t enough. They’re not just some parasite that falls out of you to be allowed to grow like a weed on their own. They are human beings who deserve nurture, guidance, care, comfort, and love. They deserve to have someone wipe their tears when they hurt, kiss their boo-boos, praise them when they succeed, hold their hand when they need support, read with them, teach them the right path, and prepare them for the life they have ahead.

That’s what makes a parent. It’s not just squirting your DNA into a woman and winding up with a little hungry human 40 weeks later. It’s everything that comes with it, and by refusing to acknowledge this simple fact, Trautwig slapped Biles’ parents in the face. He slapped her in the face. And he spat in the face of every parent who opened his or her heart to a child to whom they did not give birth.

NBC – after a backlash on social media – had Trautwig delete his tweet and issue an apology. I just hope didn’t taint Simone Biles’ shining moment. She’s incredible!

Quit virtue signalling over the damn gorilla incident!

My news feed today was filled with news of Harambe – the 17-year-old male Western lowland Silverback gorilla who was fatally shot in an effort to save a little boy who had fallen into the animal’s enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo.

Some are screeching that the parents of the 3-year-old child should be held responsible for Harambe’s death. There’s even a Change.org petition that has garnered more than 100,000 signatures demanding the parents be charged with the animal’s death. Mourners held a vigil for the ape, #JusticeForHarambe was trending on social media, and in a stroke of sheer jackassery, some obtuse ignorami went as far as to claim the gorilla was shot because of white privilege.

Get a load at this retard.

BTW, the kid wasn’t white, according to press, so this Hood “Intellect” is also a bigot.

The gorilla was seen dragging the kid through the water by his leg. He looked agitated, and the crowds probably didn’t help the situation. Tranquilizing the animal would have probably taken a bit, especially with the adrenaline that was likely coursing through his body. In those precious seconds that child would likely have been killed.

Yes, it’s a tragedy. Yes, it sucks that the gorilla was killed, but as the zoo officials said, they had a tough decision to make and they made it.

At first, it looked like Harambe was trying to help the boy, O’Connor said. The gorilla stood him up and pulled up his pants. However, as the crowd’s clamors grew, Harambe tossed the boy into a corner of the moat and stood over him, O’Connor said. As the crowd’s cries grew, the video shows Harambe grabbing the boy by the foot, dragged him through the water and out of the moat atop the habitat, O’Connor said.

Yeah, sorry, but it’s no contest. A child’s life is worth more than a gorilla’s. This is a human life, we’re talking about, people!

apeThen you have the judgmental fuckwads who are virtue signalling all over the Internet about the lack of parental responsibility, and how the parents should be held accountable.

You’d charge a parent for leaving a child in a car alone. Why not hold them responsible for allowing a toddler into a gorilla enclosure.

I have to wonder if a) any of these dumbshitsauri have ever been to a zoo on a busy weekend and b) if they’ve ever had a toddler for any length of time.

These little buggers are slippery and quick. You look away for one second, and they can disappear quickly into a crowd. This is in no way the same as locking your kid in a hot car!

This was a tragic accident, but if you’re a parent, you know these incidents can happen only too easily. Sometimes it’s not due to human stupidity, but simple tragic circumstances outside anyone’s control. Anyone who has kids can tell you that.

So quit with the virtue signalling already. I know it gives your petty little ego a boost to vent your rage on the Internet to show what a concerned world citizen you are, but all you’re doing is showing yourself to be a world class douche.

A human life was saved. Be grateful, and quit shitposting your judgments.

It’s Tourist Season in the City

washington monumentAs much as we complain about DC – the metro issues, the draconian gun control laws, the insane cost of living – it’s actually a beautiful city, filled with history, incredible architecture, and beautiful nature. Sometimes I almost feel the need to hoard my city, because mine! I know the good places to eat and to take a walk. I know the coolest museums and monuments. I know the best angles to take the best photographs. MINE!

And yes, I fully realize this is America’s city. This is where national-level decisions are made. This is where the monuments commemorate our history – both tragic and rich. This is where people come to learn about this amazing nation called America and to pay their respects to her founding. I get it, and yet, I’m still filled with this sense of ownership.

At no time is that feeling of proprietorship more acute than when the tourists come flooding into town!

They clog the streets and metros.

They take photos of my place of employment, just when I’m leaving, forcing me to duck behind columns and hide my face, so I don’t wind up in their shots. It sometimes feels like they treat those of us who work here like monkeys in a zoo! “Oh, look! A person coming out of the building! How cool! Washingtonians in their natural habitat! Let’s take pictures!”

They stop in the middle of the sidewalk to take selfies, and walk into you because they’re too busy looking at their phone apps or their maps as they wander around.

It’s aggravating. The metro is more crowded than usual. The smell is sometimes unbearable, because you’re trapped body to body with hundreds of other, sometimes sweaty, unshowered people, who have no problem burping or farting on a crowded metro car, because dammit, better out than in!

blossomsI remember a few years back, having to do a briefing downtown at the peak of cherry blossom season. We took a car and parked on the street, so we could head to the Pentagon after we were finished with the brief. BIG MISTAKE! It took us an hour and a half to drive the less than three miles to the Pentagon that day! The streets were absolutely packed. It didn’t matter that the light had turned; the tourists just poured across intersections in literal hordes, blocking traffic, and causing irate drivers to lean on their horns!  It’s like they forgot that the little illuminated red hand means DON’T WALK, GOOBERS! We sat there through several light cycles until finally, we just started moving slowly toward these pedestrians walking across the street like the red light didn’t apply to them. You should have seen the surprised looks on their faces as they quickly dispersed!

Yeah, I hate tourist season.

I don’t hate tourists per se. They’re people just like you and me. That said, it’s like they lose their collective minds when they hit the streets of Washington, DC, because the power of stupid in large numbers is frightening. So, I’m going to hand out some free advice to those who decide to visit our fair city this year. Ready?

1 – STAND TO THE RIGHT, WALK TO THE LEFT! Seriously, this is the biggest reason why I fight the urge every day to mutilate at least a dozen people. Some of us are on our way to work. Some of us are in a hurry. If you’re not going to walk up or down the escalators, get the hell out of the way! Those of you from Europe know what I mean. If you’re not passing on the highways, you need to be in the right lane. Same principle here. Recognize that not everyone has the entire day to chill and explore. Some of us have jobs and are in a rush to get to them. Get. Out. Of. The. Way.

not the white house2 – Federal workers are not monkeys in a zoo! No, really. We’re not part of the scenery, and we’re not there for you to photograph. If you see one of them exiting a federal building – even one as pretty as the White House – realize they are people doing their jobs. They more than likely don’t want to be part of your trip memories, so have some respect for them, and stop taking their photos.

3 – Red means DON’T WALK! If the light turns red, ferpetessake STOP! Again, DC is full of people who actually work there! You clogging the crosswalks when your light turns red, and theirs turns green, is only delaying them from getting where they need to go. It’s rude. It’s disrespectful. Stop and wait your damn turn!

4 – Sotto Voce at Arlington, assholes! Arlington National Cemetery is the place where thousands of military heroes are buried. There are people mourning their loved ones who were lost in war. Have some damn respect. It’s not your family picnic. It’s a friggin cemetery!

5 – The memorials are not wading pools for your crotchfruit! I cannot tell you how many times I was horrified to see parents with their kids, splashing around in the World War II Memorial fountain, despite signs that clearly admonish them not to! It’s dedicated to Americans who served during the war – both in the military and as civilians. It honors those who died and recognizes our victory over tyranny. It is not a place for your kids to splash around. Have some damn respect!

bikes6 – Ferfuckssake, look up! There are people, cars, bikes, segues, horse-drawn carriages, and police with whom you’re sharing roads! We understand that it’s tough to navigate your way around the city, but please, look up to ensure you’re not walking into someone, forcing a biker to swerve out of your way, forcing another pedestrian to dodge your dumb ass, as you stumble about, trying to figure out where your iPhone map app is taking you, and violating admonishment #3.

DC is a busy city. There’s a ton of stuff to see and do. Don’t just stick to the usual spots. Venture out. Enjoy the Spy Museum, the Newseum, Chinatown, the Iwo Jima Memorial, and other neat areas. But for petessake, remember that people also live and work there, and have respect for their time and their homes, OK?

KTHXBAI!

 

Asking for Trouble

Remember my last blog post about the warped mommy with the breastfeeding exhibitionist kink?

Yeah, that’s what I’m thinking.

Mom enough?

OK, I have to say this.

MOM ENOUGH????

As a mom, I’m really kind of creeped out by this. Not that I don’t respect women who breastfeed. I do. There are very good reasons to do so.

It’s healthy.

It’s natural.

It’s easier for a baby to digest.

It’s a way to pass on antibodies.

I get it.

But when you have a kid who’s old enough to play little league, maybe – JUST MAYBE – that’s enough!

At that point, it’s no longer for the child. It’s for the mother.

It’s a way to keep a child attached and dependent on her.

It’s a way to boost the mother’s ego.

It’s an easy way out to quiet a fussy kid. He screams? Just shove a tit in his mouth!

It’s about the mother’s inability to let go and allow her child to develop and learn.

And for some mothers (yes, I know ones like this), it’s a way to avoid going back out into the world – a way to avoid working – a reason to stay at home. “Well, I can’t go out and get a job! My baby depends on me! I’m still breastfeeding!” Never mind, the kid is now taking karate lessons and going to school!

This chic attachment parenting bullshit has been making me crazy for years.

No, you don’t need to share your bed with your infant at night. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. He needs to develop a set schedule. And hell, you and your spouse/significant other need some damn time to yourselves as well. Trust me, you aren’t doing yourselves any favors by sharing your bed with your baby. Besides the risk of one of you rolling over and squishing him, you do need rest.

No, you don’t need to breastfeed a four-year old! He’s old enough to eat solid foods. He’s gotten about all he’s going to get out of your breast milk. At this point it’s about you, not about him!

Yes, you do need to allow your child to explore the world around him, without being constantly attached to you. That’s how they learn. That’s how they develop.

Yes, your precious punkin will survive if you don’t slather him in antibiotic gel and wrap him in bubble wrap! And no, you Munchhausen by Proxy-ridden hypochondriac – your kid isn’t fragile and sensitive to eggspeanutsglutenscornsyrupwhatevertheboogiemanofthedayhappenstobe, so stop treating him like he’ll break the moment he leaves your sight!

Seriously, folks. Some common sense please?

Yeah, I’m mom enough.

I am raising two intelligent, curious, courageous, independent, healthy children.

I’ve taught them common sense, logic, courtesy and personal responsibility.

Yes, I breastfed the Redhead, but I put him to bed when it was time, I set a schedule for him and I helped him become an independent human being.

Yes, I bonded with him. I sang him songs in a rocking chair at night before putting him in his bed. I played with him. I taught him how to do simple jigsaw puzzles when he was two years old.

But I didn’t force him to be dependent on me by keeping him attached to my breast until he could read.

I didn’t stroke my own ego by having a small human glued to me, vulnerable, with me as his security blanket and savior.

So yes, I’m mom enough.

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