Category Archives: Barn Animals

This bastard needs a beating (UPDATED) (UPDATED AGAIN: RIP, Scout)

There is a special place in hell for those shitbags who abuse or neglect innocent animals who rely on them for their very lives!  One such cocksack is Lawrence Hodgson of Washington, DC, who apparently went into a tennis dome on Hains Point  to play tennis and just turned his dog loose outside alone in the 97 degree heat to “play.”

Y’all remember how hot it has been in DC this weekend, right?  This piece of festering shit left his animal buddy to just wander around. No water, plenty of traffic…  end result: dog got scared, ran until he was exhausted, then toppled into the river and would have drowned but for a police detective jumping in to save him. (Thank you, U.S. Park Police!)

Then Hodgson tried to refuse to allow the dog to be medically treated even though an hour after the incident, the dog still could not stand on his own. owner will probably not be charged with much, which makes me angry enough to find Hodgson and shove a live, writhing python up his ass. 

Cruel, inhuman monsters such as Hodgson should ideally be beaten with a heavy object, but should at least be charged with being a sociopathic shitslurper.

UPDATE: According to this morning’s Washington Post, the bastard Hodgson showed up at the veterinary hospital where his dog was being given care and took him home against the advice of the veterinary staff.  Please, oh PLEASE let the Humane Society beat this fetid bag of rancid effluvia into a bloody pulp and find Scout a decent home – a home where he’ll be well cared for and will receive medical care when necessary!  And PLEASE let Hodgson be left to fend for himself, while bleeding and incapable of getting help, and then denied care at the hospital!  If there is any justice in this world, what goes around will come around.


I consider Lawrence Hodgson a murdering piece of shit. He neglected his dog, let him run around in hellish heat without water, didn’t give a crap when Scout got dehydrated and fell into the river, and then refused to allow this poor animal to get treatment.

Lawrence Hodgson – you’re a murderer.  You’re a pathetic, disgusting excuse for a human being.  I can only hope that whatever goes around, comes around. Wherever Scout is today, he’s in a better place than with you.


Cue PETA howls of protest in 3…2…1…

The Taliban are monkeys… I mean they’re using monkeys… training monkeys to fight American Soldiers.  The Afghanistani pig diddlers are resorting to desperate measures.  They can’t really counter our sophisticated weaponry and highly trained troops, so they’re using the primitive version of a UAV… a chimp.

If this report is true, we will more likely than not see a sternly-worded letter to the Mullahs from PETA asking them to have some love and respect for the simians – the same letter they wrote to Arafat telling him if he MUST kill those Joos, to please use human homicide bombers instead of innocent donkeys.  I’m sure the PETArds won’t be threatening the Taliban. They don’t threaten armed, violent religious crazies who can actually hurt them! Just effeminate ice skaters!

PETA – People Embarrassing the Tidewater Area.

Stoopid?  They haz it.

Where would we be

Without the mindless psychotic statist shitbags of San Francisco?  I mean, whom would we have to ridicule about the infinite stupidity of making regulations on the baking of pot brownies? Where would we be without the brainless nitwits who elected Skeletor Pelosi?  And how could this nation possibly remain the cesspool of moronic douchebaggery without petty tyrants who want to ban the sale of pets.  That’s right.  Pets.

It’s not enough that San Francisco has a nearly $500 million budget deficit.  Their way of addressing said deficits is to punish businesses and make it more expensive and annoying to live in and visit the city, including schemes to raise the cost of medical technician certificates from $34 to
$145, increase prices for underground parking in Golden Gate Park, set and raise police department permit fees, increase fire department fees for high-rise inspections and raise fees for emergency medical services. 

Their latest brilliant plan to make it more unpalatable to live in their Nanny State utopia is to ban the sale of pets.  All pets except fish. Because only daft schmucks elected by some of the same nimrods who put Pelosi in office should be able to dictate what types of pets can be sold, and frankly who needs those damn pet stores for revenue anyway?

Sell a guinea pig, go to jail.

That’s the law under consideration by San Francisco’s Commission of Animal Control and Welfare. If the commission approves the ordinance at its meeting tonight, San Francisco could soon have what is believed to be the country’s first ban on the sale of all pets except fish.

That includes dogs, cats, hamsters, mice, rats, chinchillas, guinea pigs, birds, snakes, lizards and nearly every other critter, or, as the commission calls them, companion animals.

“People buy small animals all the time as an impulse buy, don’t know what they’re getting into, and the animals end up at the shelter and often are euthanized,” said commission Chairwoman Sally Stephens. “That’s what we’d like to stop.”

Hey, I’d like to stop contemptible dictatorial shitsacks like Sally from inserting her totalitarian dictates into the lives of those whom she serves. But we can’t all have what we want, can we?

Special place in hell

A friend of mine from high school posted this article on Facebook this morning, and it made me so angry, I really wanted to fly to Brooklyn, grab the heartless shitsack who tossed this poor pup from the roof of a housing project, and gut him like a fish while he was alive, conscious and writhing.  And if he passed out from the pain, a little stimulant shot to wake him up as I eviscerate him and stuff his innards down his throat!

A young Brooklyn
man hurled his dog from the roof of a Brooklyn housing project – but
the pooch miraculously survived the six-story plunge, officials said.

Fabian Henderson, 19, was busted Friday for the cruel crime against Oreo, who ended up with shattered legs, bruised lungs and severe internal bleeding.


Henderson’s mother, Samantha Henderson, 41, told the Daily News Friday she’s never seen the dog before and doesn’t believe her son did it.

was surprised that he got arrested for that,” she said, noting the
family has a pit bull mix named Diamond. “He’s basically a quiet
person, good with animals.”

But an ASPCA investigation revealed numerous witnesses saw Henderson toss Oreo off the roof, Pentangelo said.

Hate to tell you this, mommy dearest, but your son is obviously a sociopathic piece of shit that needs to be put down… painfully.

Andrea is right when she posted on Facebook that  there’s a special hell for people who abuse animals and children, although I’ll add the elderly to that list. Anyone who abuses those who are weaker than them and can’t defend themselves deserves to die a painful death and rot in hell forever.

I’m looking over to my left, and there’s a cute, pudgy black lab curled up in a furry dog ball on his doggie bed. To my right, I have Lagniappe, who is curled up in a black German Shepherd ball with his favorite hedgehog on his bed. Lagniappe is missing his human, so he’s a little mopey and sad. Superman is camping with his buddy Aaron this weekend, so I’m dogsitting. The two furry creatures are getting along well (except for a slight incident during our walk last night, when Robodog peed on Lagniappe’s head accidentally after the latter stuck his nose too close to the pole Robodog was watering), and Lagniappe is no longer neurotic and fouling every floor in my house he possibly can.  He’s relaxing and comes over to get petted quite often.

When I imagine harming those two, I literally get choked up!  Animals are truly furry little members of the family. I would protect them just as fiercely as I would protect my kids.

I have a better name for them…

The human-hating sociopaths at PETA obviously have nothing better to do.  We’re in the midst of an economic downturn, we are fighting a war on terrorism, our government is about to go on a spending spree the likes of which has never been seen in our short national history… But that’s not important.

The terrorist fellators at PETA are fixated on a much more critical topic.

Renaming fish.  That’s right.  Apparently we, humans, are mean to fish.  Fish are cute and cuddly.  Never mind they reek like Ingrid Newkirk’s thong after a particularly heavy night of spreading herself wide for hairy men who think showering is detrimental to water plants…


That’s right.  PETA has launched a new campaign to rename fish into “sea kittens,” because apparently we will be less likely to eat them if they’re compared to cute, furry creatures who claw at my furniture and attack my feet in the middle of the night.  Yeah… that will make me less likely to turn them into a tasty meal!

Kittens are great to photograph, and my kids love cuddling with them  However, kittens have less endearing qualities, such as barfing up a mass of smelly hair on my floor, clawing at walls and furniture, terrorizing the obese lab, getting into the sink in order to partake of dinner leftovers and then barfing up whatever it is they ate on my floor…  All qualities that make me want to take said kittens and toss them down the garbage disposal.  The only thing stopping me is the fact that the munchkins would hunt me down and kill me, after several nights of bloody torture if I ever did anything bad to their cats.

So I tolerate them… both the munchkins and the cats.

But back to PETA.  Fish aren’t cuddly.  They aren’t smart.  They aren’t even bright enough to chase small toys on strings around the house.  And they smell bad!  Really bad!  They’re FISH, ferfuckssake!  They go well with tartar sauce, some lemon and, on occasion, soy sauce mixed with wasabi.

In other words, they’re FOOD!

And I have a much better name for them than “sea kittens.”

Sushi.  That’s what they are.  Sushi.

Hey, Ingrid!  Want to do something nice for animals?  Feed yourself into a woodchipper and turn your sagging old carcass into mulch to make the grass grow better, so that the cows have something to feast on. 

(h/t: LC Mrs. M-ITT™-Imperial Sniper over at Misha‘s)

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