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Category Archives: asshats

So this is inevitably where we wind up

All this accommodating of crazy has brought us here. We have people who identify as everything from mops to toasters. We’ve read about douche freaks who identify as children of the opposite sex, or live their lives as animals. There’s a transgender guy who identifies as an alien, and a derelict who identifies as a “Billy Goat” arrested for not paying his bar tab. A couple of years ago, there was a crazed Russian who married a pizza, claiming human relationships were just way too complicated, and another douche taco who married a snake, because he thought his dead girlfriend came back as a cobra. (Now, I love pizza as much as the next person, but I’m not sure how legal it is to eat your spouse. Also, there’s an evil misanthropic part of me that wants to see the guy try to consummate his relationship with his cobra bride.)

Through all this we were supposed to support the delusions of these ass weasels. We were supposed to entertain their lunacy by acknowledging their grotesque fetishes and honor their absurdities by using the preferred pronouns they completely pulled out of their fourth points of contact so they can feelz normal!

Welp, here’s the next link in the dumbass evolutionary chain. Woman marries train station.

Now, there’s someone missing a candle on their menorah! They apparently have sex too. Mentally. Perhaps what this nut really needs is some actual human sex, which she claims she’s had before. Once. Some psychological help probably wouldn’t hurt either.

She choo-choo-chose a train station to be her life partner. Carol Santa Fe, a self-identified objectum sexual, says she’s been in love with San Diego’s historic Santa Fe train depot since the age of 9. “We first consummated our love a few years ago when I felt the wall behind me, and I felt this energy,” she says, claiming she and “Daidra” have been romantic since 2011. “I came close to an orgasm and I was scared I’d get caught by the station staff.” Carol joins the list of people attracted to famous structures, including Erika Eiffel and Eklöf Berliner-Mauer, who “married” the Berlin Wall in 1979.

In case you didn’t know and wanted to, an “objectum sexual” is a person who is sexually attracted to inanimate objects and structures, and this fruitcake claims it’s just like being bisexual or gay! “We’re not crazy,” she claims.

I beg to differ.

Nutbag here hasn’t gotten consent from the building. She is imagining the building loves her and kisses her back. She claims the building is “romantic.” Hell, she is claiming the building almost brought her to orgasm! How long before someone notices this freak show humping a wall?

She claims she’s all on the down low, because she doesn’t want anyone to notice her ministrations, but yet, here she is publicly proclaiming her “affair” with a train depot on video that’s been pretty widely disseminated and in every medium she could find!

Now, granted, I’m a live and let live kind of person. She’s not harming anyone, and she’s ridiculously happy. So be it. Now, if she does get naked and starts humping that wall in full view of the public, that’s another story. Ain’t nobody need to see that shit! But for now, let the crazy be.

That said, I’m certainly not going to entertain her wacky delusions by acknowledging her “union,” or pretending that this is some kind of normal.

It’s not.

If you want to be a freak, you need to own that shit.

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Our society is doomed

You ever see someone who is just so unpleasant, obnoxious, and downright repugnant to you, that the first thing you want to do upon hearing them speak is smash their foul face in with something heavy?

That’s my visceral reaction to the shit-chewing, smug cretin, whose tits eclipse her brains made famous by the equally repulsive, tabloid “doctor” Phil last year. The parenting FAIL was palpable in that incident. Brainless hood rat of a kid paraded around, spouting inanities, looking like a two-bit hooker. Mommy dearest dragged her to Dr. Phil’s talk show, ostensibly asking for help in controlling her feral fuck trophy, bur really just substituting actual parenting for national attention, which is exactly what the moronic little troglodyte wanted.

And now…

The reprehensible fuckwit is getting a national tour. I. Shit. You. Not.

Her team is “still hammering out the contract,” but Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli so far reportedly has two big city venues “locked down.”

As of now, the show’s format will be a three-part act, which includes her lip syncing and rapping her favorite songs (along with celebrity cameos), live Q&A and a wrap up with audience members being invited to come onstage to dish out (and receive) jokes.

The fact that this pathetic, ignorant lout has a “team” of anything is repugnant to me. The fact that there are celebritards willing to advance this shitslurping moron’s infamy (no doubt in order to raise their own “street cred”) is unsurprising and exasperating. The fact that there are audiences willing to expend what passes for brain cells and waste hours of their lives giving this savage little monkey the attention she so desperately craves is, again, unsurprising, and abhorrent.

Once again, I reiterate this is what’s wrong with our society.

Aside from parents willing to whore out their kids for national attention, failing to be… you know… parents, and parading these savages around, showing the rest of the kids out there that this is somehow an acceptable way to make a profit, what is really the problem here is how low we’ve stooped as a society.

We have become a society that elevates blithering ignorami such as Kanye West and the Kardashians to nearly royal status.

We have become a society of beer-swilling, chip-crunching reality show-watching chimps. Is it any wonder that save for a few exceptions, well-written television shows are getting the boot? My opinion is that it’s not because of politics, but rather because the average idiot is busy watching “The Bachelorette,” or some other ridiculous crap that’s making us dumber by the minute. These shows have displaced writing, plot, and characterization. They don’t require a whole lot of writing effort – just a whole lot of doofus drama that will keep drooling boneheads glued to their idiot boxes.

We have become a society that glamourizes stupid. The stupider, the better. Maybe it makes us feel better about our own pathetic existences, but whatever the reason, stupid is in and has been for a while.

We have become a society that hates to think and chooses, instead, to mindlessly drool at the latest celebrity antics, reality clown shows. This predates Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli, but she is the inevitable byproduct of this phenomenon.

We have become a society of parents that is terrified of telling their children “NO!” Instead of instilling discipline and respect, we try to be their friends, and then wonder why spoiled rotten, barely literate shit goblins are incapable of rational thought, real effort, logical argumentation, and significant accomplishments.

Instead of ignoring this classless, crass, giggling, smarmy snatch, kids will now emulate her.

The result is that this cunt drip is going on tour and getting paid to contribute to the dumbing down of America. Americans tune in to either wallow in arrogant superiority, compared to this pathetic, screeching ass monkey and thank their lucky stars they’re not her, or they tune in because they find her somehow edgy and compelling.

But either way they tune in, and we, as a culture, are dumber for it.

Meanwhile, the rolling shit show gets paid for it, sending the message to every kid out there that all they have to do is be outrageous, disrespectful, illiterate, and barely human to “earn” money.

Well done, America. Well done. *slow clap*

You’ll find me in my cave.

How to spot a fake news story (UPDATED)

There’s fake news, and there’s FAKE NEWS. There’s spin, and then there’s such complete imbecilic fuckery disguised as “reporting,” that the moment you read it, you should ridicule it and block the site. Anyone with a shred of knowledge or an inclination to check actual links in a story that claims to be “news,” should be able to discern fact from bullshit, but just in case, let me demonstrate.

A few days ago, some rabid cock weasel writing for some outfit named DC Memo, that claims to provide “news and commentary from our nation’s capital,” wrote an article titled, “Obama Using Top Secret iPad to Take Pics of Michelle.”

The title unequivocally claims that Barack Obama, who left office in January, is publicly using a classified device that he took from the government to take photos of his wife. This is a federal crime, and the headline is misleading and libelous. Let me explain.

After leaving the presidency, Barack Obama has been spotted using his favorite iPad to take photos of his wife while on a David Geffen-owned megayacht in Tahiti. But this may be no ordinary iPad. A government watchdog speculates that he may have taken the Top Secret version out of the Oval Office, a big no-no.

Note the language.

Barack Obama is using his favorite iPad to take photos of his wife, but it MAY be no ordinary iPad. This is already speculative. The idiot who wrote the piece links to Judicial Watch, claiming that the organization speculates Obama may have taken the TS version of the tablet out of the Oval when he left.

This is no longer fact, as claimed in the title, but conjecture. Further, if you click on the links provided as evidence for said claim, you will see this:

We can’t tell what iPad is being used by the former president, and the story postulates that this is a TS tablet that he somehow stole from the intelligence community and is now publicly using it to take photos of his wife.

But do you know what photo comes up when the story is linked on social media?


This. With the same libelous title.

Does this look like the photo was taken on a yacht, as the article claims? What kind of fucktard would wear a suit and tie on a yacht?

So what is this absurd claim based on?

The link to Judicial Watch claiming that the organization speculates he may have taken the iPad leads to the organization’s home page. I have done several different searches to find out what, if anything, Judicial Watch has written about an ostensibly missing presidential daily brief (PDB) tablet. I couldn’t find a thing. No speculation about any missing iPad. No accusation – not even an indirect one – about Obama having taken the tablet out of the White House.

Additionally, the TS tablet that contains the PDB is completely disabled and cannot in any way connect to any wi-fi, why in the world would Obama take a photo of her that he cannot share? Being a pretty tech savvy guy, one would think any device he would use to photograph his wife would be able to connect to the net, so that these photos can be shared.

The report claims there is a top secret iPad that went missing during the transition, and claims White House staffers were searching for it. There is no link to any reporting confirming this claim, and no actual source is named. Additionally, the fuckwit who wrote this travesty claims, “The iPad device that Obama is suspected to have taken with him into civilian life still has access to current Presidential Daily Briefs (PDBs). Trump associates believe this device may be giving the ex-president an “over the shoulder” view inside the secret workings of the Trump Administration.”

Now, I’m wondering how it is that a tablet that is not wi-fi enabled, and requires the intelligence community to load the information onto it in a secure location daily, which means the old data on it is deleted, can possibly contain information about the “secret workings of the Trump Administration.”

Here’s a clue, it can’t. The “journalistic” douche circus is so eager for a “gotcha” story against Obama, that he contradicts himself in froth flecked zeal to nail the former POTUS. And if you don’t think there’s a mechanism on this tablet that erases all the information on it automatically after a certain amount of time, in case the device gets accidentally lost or left behind, you’re as much of a moron as this “writer” is.

The National Archives, this chucklefuck claims, was also “unaware” of the existence of the iPad, because somehow he thinks the PDB staff can’t reuse the tablets and would hand them over to the National Archives instead.

“A member of the Obama team declined to comment for this report,” he concludes, as if somehow this is a condemnation against the former President.

Perhaps said member thought the story was so stupid, that he considered it to have been a waste of his time to even bother talking to this retardified butt penguin.

So let’s recap.

The title makes a definitive claim that Obama is committing a crime.

The story then speculates that Obama is committing a crime, based on the fact that he has a personal iPad and on spurious claims that there’s a missing presidential iPad that somehow, even though it’s not wi-fi enabled, is receiving current presidential daily briefs, and that Obama is reading them to get intel on the Trump administration… or something.

And to add insult to injury, it provides links that absolutely do not support said speculation and sets a default photo that when shared shows the President in a completely other situation, at another time, that has nothing to do with the original claim that he was using an iPad on a boat while on vacation to take photos of his wife.

This, boys and girls, is how you spot bullshit.

By the way, if you want to keep your sanity, do NOT read the comments at the bottom of the original story. The retardulous FAIL will make your brain bleed.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

UPDATE: Looks like the idiotarians removed that “story.” Maybe someone sent them my article? Hmmmmm?

It’s Women’s Day, so why am I at work?

Today is International Women’s Day. March 8 is traditionally commemorated worldwide to honor women, mothers, daughters, grandmothers, etc. I remember giving my mom flowers on March 8 every year. Kind of like Mother’s Day, but on an international scale, and not just for mothers. And while it has definite socialist roots (it used to be called  International Working Women’s Day, ferpetessake!), it was always just a sweet holiday to me, in which we gave my mom carnations and took her out to a nice dinner. (Note to self: must remember to call mom today.)

Well, the perpetually offended uber-feminist brigade decided to hijack today to stamp their hooves and protest… something.

Much like the “Day Without Immigrants,” which appears to have gone unnoticed, and which resulted in some people who thought their political activism was more important than their jobs, getting shitcanned, this particular protest is meant “to highlight the economic power of women — as well as ongoing problems of discrimination and pay disparity.” To show how critical they are, women are being encouraged to take the day off from all work today and not to shop (except, of course at women and minority owned and small businesses). That’s all work, including unpaid labor.
I guess these cunt hat-sporting booger eaters won’t be taking care of the households and their children today either? Kids can fend for themselves, while mommy sits on the couch and impotently pumps her fist in the air, while sporting the trendy feminist scowl, for feminism – is that the way it works?

Once again, the virtue signalling socialist sow coalition is missing the economic point. Much like during the “Day Without Immigrants” protests, the economic impact will be negligible, other than to show them just how expendable they are.

Those same immigrants staging this protest and not buying anything, will purchase what they need tomorrow… or the next day. No harm, no foul. Any money “lost” from any sale today, will be made up tomorrow or the next day, because ultimately people need what they need.

I have no problem with people choosing where to shop based on anything they see fit. It’s their money. But to take  one day to virtue signal their support for small and women- and minority-owned businesses is an ineffective and economically stupid message to send.

Shutting down entire school districts and depriving children – including minority, low-income, and female ones – of a day’s worth of education doesn’t send the message that women are important. It says women are selfish twats, who think that their politics are more important than their commitment to teaching kids, who, with those kinds of role models, will likely grow up to be just as entitled and ignorant as these teachers, and forcing some parents, who probably aren’t privileged enough to afford skipping out on work and aren’t protected by teachers’ unions to take a day off.

And “striking from smiling” is literally the stupidest thing I’ve read in months! It honestly makes me want to throat punch the first scowling bitch face I see.

No, you screeching harpies, there’s no such thing as “emotional labor.” You will not get recognized or paid extra for being a nice person. But you might not get hired in the first place, if you go into an interview looking like someone shoved a live, venom-filled snake up your ass. Smiling is not the result of harassment. Smiling is polite. Smiling says, “No, I’m not a pernicious cunt wart, but a professional with whom someone would want to interact and possibly work.” Smiling is also psychologically healthy, which would go a long way toward explaining why these glowering hemorrhoids are so mentally unbalanced.

So, yes. I’m at work.

Why?

Because I love my job and my country, and because the work I do is more important than any political gripes I might have.

Because I understand that my value as an employee doesn’t depend on my plumbing, but rather on my performance.

Because manufactured outrage doesn’t trump my responsibilities.

Because I’m not selfish enough to force someone else to take on my duties while I vent my spleen at perceived slights, and I refuse to screw my co-workers.

Because refusing to work means refusing to get paid, and like many women, I’m not privileged enough to be able to afford that.

Because I refuse to demonstrate any kind of solidarity with turd-sucking, whining harridans who possess the economic acumen of  rotting stumps, but who believe they are entitled to MOAR respect and MOAR money despite their ignorance.

And because I prove how integral I am to the economy by actually doing a superior job, rather than shirking my duties.

Shutting down a school or business for one day will not prove your value. It may just do the opposite – much like it did with at least 100 immigrants, who failed to prove their impact on the economy, and lost their jobs in the process.

Vegan Crazy

You know that old joke about recognizing a vegan?

vegans

Well, you can now add “Don’t worry. They’ll crash into your chicken truck” to the punchline.

See, vegans can’t just be happy with living their life as they see fit. They’re filled with supercilious smugness about their lifestyle. They can’t be just happy with eating nothing but grass, wearing hemp, eschewing any article of clothing, accessory, or bath product that’s ever touched an animal – or was even in the vicinity of one – smelling like rancid BO and patchouli, and feeling superior about it. They’re miserable, overbearing busybodies, who obviously figure if they’re going to be miserable and unhinged, the whole world must be forced to join them.

Enter Judith Moriah Armstrong.

The investigation began when a truck driver told police he was traveling west on Hwy. 72 when a red four-door car hit the side of his truck. The driver said he initiated his brakes only to have the suspect vehicle slam into his truck once more – spinning in front of the truck in the process.

The truck driver pulled over and called 911 as the red car fled. He only had a basic description of the driver, a woman with shoulder length red hair. Had that been all that Madison County deputies had to work with, she might not have been as easy to find. However they reported that there was debris from the crash left on the side of the road – including her license plate.

You know what happened next, right?

Crazy bitch was tracked down to her house, refused to leave unless police secured a warrant (OK, that’s fine), but spoke with officers through a window and admitted to hitting the truck. Because it was a chicken truck, and she was a vegan.

I know you’ll be shocked to know that alcohol was involved, although, she claims she took a few shots when she got home, after she intentionally hit another person’s vehicle – twice – and then fled the scene.

Consider the irony here. Vegans reject the commodity status of animals, and renounce the use of animal products… because kindness to our fellow living beings or some such shit.

And yet, deranged ginger here intentionally hit the truck more than once, putting both the live creature operating the vehicle and the living beings in the back of said vehicle in mortal peril.

Guess the actual lives and well being of actual live creatures don’t matter when psychotic vegans decide their ideology must be obeyed at all costs.

I wonder if they’ll cater to her dietary preferences in jail.

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