Category Archives: America

Open Letter to Colin Kaepernick

Dear Colin –

I just got back from my son’s graduation from Army Basic Training. We are a family of Soldiers and veterans, and we have taken an oath to defend the Constitution of the United States. We have sworn to defend your rights and liberties. We have promised to protect every man’s sacred rights, without regard for anything superficial such as color, race, religion, or gender.

We uphold and live by that oath every single day.

There are a lot of people who are shrieking and screeching about your recent refusal to stand up for the National Anthem. I shall not do so.

It is your right as an American to be as abhorrent and offensive as you want. It is your right to display as much disrespect for this nation as you see fit. It is your right to protest whatever injustices you want.

That’s what our Constitution is about. It’s about protecting your right to be as much of an opprobrious asshole as you want and not face government prosecution. You will not go to jail for your actions. You will not be fined. You will not be punished in any way by the government for your display of contempt for this country.

That said, that doesn’t mean you aren’t going to be immune from the consequences. Consequences come in many forms – from fan criticism, to loss of sponsors, to censure from other NFL members – because the majority of people, fans, players, and coaches recognize just how lucky they are to be here, to play this game, to earn millions dollars doing what they love, to have the opportunities they have, their rights protected and their ability to speak out safe from government persecution.

Try that in many other countries, and you’ll find yourself in a cell.

Here, the worst that will happen to you is consternation from your fellow Americans. I guess you don’t care about that. Why should you? You’re making millions in a country that protects your rights – not always perfectly, not always neatly, but better than most. You’re playing a game you love, and you’re earning big money for doing so. You’re free to achieve your dreams.

And guess what! Thousands of courageous men and women died to protect this country whose flag on which you so freely defecate. I guess you don’t care about them either.

It’s sad that in your zeal to shed light on perceived injustices in this nation, you slap in the face every single person who has sacrificed for the very justice you claim to desire.

It’s a shame that in your blind hatred for the flag and the nation that has given so many people the opportunities most in this world could only dream about, you spit on every courageous individual who has volunteered to protect this land. You spit on me. You spit on my children. You spit on people I love.

So while you are free to show disrespect for my adopted country – the country that has given me and millions of others, including you, the opportunities you couldn’t possibly understand or appreciate, being the spoiled rotten brat you are – the rest of us are free to let you know just what a despicable, ungrateful disgrace you are.

Colin-Kaepernick-backwards-hat-300x300We are free not to watch your games.

We are free not to purchase any product for which you are a spokesman.

We are certainly free not to buy tickets to your games.

The NFL respects your right to protest, as they well should. Standing up for the national anthem is certainly not a requirement, nor is it a law. Neither is respecting your fellow Americans who sacrificed for the rights and freedoms you so freely flaunt and the oppression you disingenuously claim while making millions of dollars as a person of color in this awful country.

But that doesn’t mean we have to like you, respect you, watch your games, buy tickets, or purchase any product you happen to endorse.

It also doesn’t mean that I can’t hope you one day grow up, drop the drama, and develop some respect for the country which has protected your right to be an asshole, even if she’s not perfect, and even if bad things sometimes happen.

This country’s flaws – whatever they may be – will not be remedied by a sniveling, spoiled, tattooed prima donna, who thinks his cheap tantrum on the football field will cure America’s ills.

Here’s hoping you grow up, even though I doubt you will, and here’s hoping that the acrimony you have sowed will impact your wallet.

Maybe then you’ll learn.

Hugs and kisses,

Americans who aren’t assholes.

Clockhamed Wants a Payout

Y’all remember the Clock Kid, right? He’s the teenager who made a hoax bomb, brought it to school, was arrested, booked, and subsequently released, but was still suspended from school for trying to cause a bomb scare.

After the incident, Ahmed Mohamed’s family gobbled up thousands of dollars in donations by guilty, “privileged” white people, got to visit the White House, demanded millions in “damages” from the City of Irving, ostensibly because Mohamed ostensibly was targeted because he was Muslim – and not because he brought something resembling an explosive to school – and moved to Qatar to accept a scholarship from the Qatar Foundation.

And now they’re back and demanding more money, because apparently Clockhamed’s civil rights were somehow violated, because of the kid’s religion.

Among the claims made in the suit, which was brought by the teen’s father, Mohamed Elhassan Mohamed, is that the boy’s right to equal protection under the law was violated and that officers arrested him without probable cause.

Ahmed was a victim of systemic discrimination by the school district and state Board of Education that has marginalized Muslims and other minority groups, the suit claims.

Equality. Yes, let’s talk equality!

An honor student expelled for unintentionally bringing a butter knife to school.

A seventh-grader suspended for having a keychain the size of a quarter in the shape of a tiny pistol in school.

o-POP-TART-GUN-facebookAn 8-year old suspended from school for allegedly chewing his Pop-Tart into the shape of a “gun.”

A 6-year old suspended for taking a Cub Scout utensil that included a knife, fork, and spoon to school, so he could use it at lunch.

Kids suspended for toys, drawing guns, pointing fingers in the shape of guns, and even asked to change the way their names are said in sign language, because ZERO TOLERANCE!

But bringing something that resembles an explosive to school and being suspended for it is somehow prejudicial to a Muslim?

This isn’t about justice. This isn’t about equality.

If it was about justice and equality, these gold-digging, opportunistic swine wouldn’t be claiming discrimination, especially given the hundreds of white, Hispanic, and black kids who get booted from school!

If it was, the parents would be more concerned about the kind of environment that gives school administrators the authority to destroy young lives based on paranoid stupidity and a blind observance of imbecilic “zero tolerance” policy diktats.

ClockandBombJihadWatchBut no. They came back from Qatar, which was ostensibly so much nicer and more generous to their son, and filed a lawsuit claiming discrimination. Because if there’s one surefire way to cash in, it’s to scream “DISCRIMINATION!” at the top of your voice, and watch the dollars roll in.

All at taxpayer expense!

All because a teacher couldn’t tell the difference between a bomb and a clock.

Here’s hoping a judge with some common sense tosses this crap out and saddles these litigious shitbags with the court costs.

Open letter to W. Kamau Bell

Dear Kamau –

BTgAgkkGcFor the record, I’m absolutely elated that Michael Phelps chose to give you the finger and lead the American Olympic team into Maracana Stadium in Rio the other night, despite the fact that you sniveled and sniggered that the legendary swimmer was sure to follow your admonition to give up the honor of carrying the flag to someone who had not earned it.

Fencer Ibtihaj Muhammad is a better choice to carry the flag, you whined in an open letter to Phelps.

She is a Muslim, you wailed.

Phelps doesn’t need the honor, you lamented.

And if he does this, he’ll be forgiven for that little pot indiscretion, you squealed.

If Phelps gave up the honor he earned fairly and justly by being selected by his peers to bear the flag, he would earn forgiveness for our nation for this shit show of an election, you claimed, as if it was Phelps’ responsibility to beg forgiveness in front of the world for the assclownery of this election year – assclownery for which you and your pals in the media are partially responsible.

Muhammad is a veritable cornucopia of social justice shitbaggery that you Marxists love so much! She’s female. She’s African-American. She’s a hijab wearing Muslim.

You know what she doesn’t have? She doesn’t have 22 Olympic medals.

She’s not the most decorated Olympian in history. As a matter of fact, her Olympic journey is just starting, while Phelps qualified for his first Olympic Games when he was just 15 years old.

Phelps is Olympic and American history. And while I’m sure Muhammad will forge her own glory, she’s not there yet.

In other words, Phelps earned this honor. He earned it with years of hard work.

And you want to take it away from him, because he doesn’t NEED it? Because he’s rich, white, and famous?

Wow, you’re a Marxist jerk! From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs, eh?

Who appointed you the arbiter of who needs what, and when those needs are met?

Phelps earned a record number of Olympic medals for his country over his swimming career, and was fairly selected by his peers to carry the flag, and yet, he should give up that honor because it’s somehow his responsibility to let someone who hasn’t earned it have it anyway, because she’s black… or Muslim… or female?

phelpsWhatever happened to merit? Whatever happened to fairness and justice? Whatever happened to earning the honor of representing and leading your country?

Are all those things to be overshadowed by plumbing, skin color, and religion?

Oh, I forgot. Those things aren’t important to you and your fellow Social Justice Howler Monkeys – ye of the big mouth and tiny genitalia. You don’t care about skill. You don’t give a rat’s ass about justice. You care about promoting people based on everything not related to actual abilities, to compensate for your own tiny sack.

And your appalling screed should be a slap in the face to every woman and minority who works their ass off to achieve great heights. You cheapen and demean their accomplishments by demanding that someone hand over something they earned to someone who hasn’t earned it merely because they happen to wear a hijab, and who by the way, claims she feels “unsafe” in the country of her birth, which I’m sure gives you, Kamau, another excuse to demand that she be given the unearned. Because VICTIM!!!

Maybe you feel Phelps should wear some cement shoes while he competes, because “America has enough tall, successful, rich white guys hogging the spotlight trying to make America great… again.” And if he doesn’t, he must be a Trump supporting racist, is that it, you ass munching jizz gobbler?

The Olympics are about physical prowess. They’re about skill. They’re about competition and athletic performance. They’re not about participation trophies. So stop trying to divide this country and relegate people to second class citizens merely because they are white, or male, because you feel they have enough “privilege.” Your FEELZ don’t matter. Phelps’ teammates voted for him to carry the flag, and however close that vote was, it’s their choice and his honor to accept, without you trying to undermine his achievements with implications of racism if he doesn’t abide by your oh-so-gentle “suggestion.”

When Muhammad wins medals and earns the majority of the votes of her fellow Olympians and the honor of carrying the flag in the next Olympic games, we will cheer her on just like we would any other American.

Until then, you can take your social justice agenda and shove it up your unAmerican ass!

Guest Post: What the Republicans and Democrats just don’t get

Khizr-KhanThe following post was written by the wife of an Army buddy of mine. These are her thoughts. These are her emotions.

These thoughts are not partisan in nature, nor are they impugning either of the repulsive characters involved in the Khan saga.

My friend is a Soldier. He was there when Humayun Khan sacrificed his life. He saw that sacrifice in raw and vivid detail. His wife says he’s been having a difficult time with all this. Every time he sees another exploitative story, according to her, he gets upset.

I haven’t said a word about the Democrats shameful use of this Gold Star family’s tragedy as a political tool in their convention. Nor have I said anything about Donald Trumps equally shameful subsequent attacks on the parents. 

Both are equally repugnant, and I would urge every reader to put aside their hatred for either or both candidates, read these thoughts and consider where we are as a country. Is this the best we can be?

This post isn’t about what I feel. It is the voice of another – a voice that needs to be heard.

It’s an election year and the internet world is buzzing. People are snarling and growling at each other like so many monsters while hidden behind cyber veils of anonymity. Every action and every word of the candidates are being dissected, torn apart, and re-imagined to suit whatever agenda is being served.

It is an absolute muckraking mess. I customarily try to avoid these things and stay in my bubble so that I can enjoy my life.

Unfortunately, I have been shoved so far into the political toilet this week, that I am barely afloat. I find myself up, late at night, writing this because someone needs to address this issue.

No this has nothing to do with women’s rights, or my uterus, or gay rights, or transgender rights, or any of the hot button issues that you may think would concern a young woman. Instead it boils down to one simple fact – one simple moral principle that seems to have been lost on the media, the masses, and the political parties, in what can only be described as a feeding frenzy.

Capitalizing on the death of a soldier and the pain of his family for political gain is NOT OK.

I’m sure that you have all watched it. The parents of the late Army Captain Humayun Khan stood up at the Democratic National Convention and encouraged voters to vote Democrat, with Mrs. Khan standing strong next to her husband – a mother’s pain and anguish clear on her face. You heard the cheers as the camera panned out over a tearful, diverse and thoroughly patriotic audience who were fired up with the passion of purpose. It was all very heartwarming.

Except that it wasn’t heartwarming at all.

What you didn’t see were the Soldiers who served with Captain Khan as they struggled to cope.

What you didn’t see were their faces going pale as the memories re-emerged.

What you didn’t see was the anger when they realized that one of their own was being used posthumously as a prop to support a politician.

You didn’t see the rage when they realized the pain of Captain Khan’s parents was being exploited, or the abject disgust at the raging media circus that has ensued.

You haven’t seen their faces crumple with an abject sense of helplessness, as the name of a hero whom they hold in the highest regard has been dragged through the dirt by politicians and the media.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am sure that Captain Khan’s parents really only spoke with the best of intentions. I’m positive that they never would have thought that the American media and the American public could be so heartless when speaking of their deceased son. What has been said and done in the name of politics is appalling. I hold the family of Captain Khan in the highest regard.

Now before you stop reading and think that I’m just being some preachy opinionated internet keyboard warrior, I should tell you how I arrived at my view of this fiasco.

On June 8, 2004 Captain Humayun Khan took a Humvee to the entrance of FOB Warhorse. He greeted the gate guards, made conversation with them, and stepped outside to address some locals. It was his day off, but he was at the gate that day when he should have been resting. I have been told that he was meeting with local Iraqis to help them form a neighborhood watch program. A scant few minutes later there was a loud explosion. The guards at the gate were blown into the Hesco barriers by the force of the blast. They suffered ruptured eardrums and a myriad of other injuries.

One of those guards who greeted Captain Khan shortly before he stepped outside the FOB for the last time is my husband.

That was the day that Captain Khan died while saving my husband’s life.

That was the day that a man I never met ensured my future by giving up his own.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of him. Every time my daughter smiles, every time I hear my husband speak or crack a joke. Every single time we eat a family dinner or enjoy a movie Humayun Khan is there in the back of my mind.

Many of you saw a handsome young man’s face magnified on that screen. You saw the face of an American ideal, you saw the idea of a hero translated into a face.

I saw the face of a true warrior to whom I can never repay my debt. My husband saw the face of a brother in arms, a fellow soldier. He saw the face of a hero as well but he also saw the face of a human being and he remembered in vivid detail.

The general populace is detached. Many Americans only ever see neatly edited clips of war. For many war is a spectator sport. It is a glorious montage of patriotism and heroism that flashes across the screens of our televisions and our devices. Unfortunaly like most entertainments for the spectators it’s not real or solid in their minds.

Soldiers who serve don’t have that benefit; they get the full brutal reality. It is something that they live, see, hear, feel and smell. It is something that changes them. It is the memory that lurks and the bad dreams that torment. It is a never ending feeling and depository of memory.

For Captain Khan’s parents there are no words of gratitude that are appropriate and there are no words of sympathy powerful enough.

No one should ever have to be thanked for losing a child.

The question is where do we go from here? What’s done is done.

There is one thing we can do.

We can demand an apology from both the Democrats and the Republicans. We must remind the politicians that the stories of our honored dead are not theirs to use as they see fit. The valor of our heroes is not a commodity to be traded and capitalized on, and the pain of Gold Star family members is not and never should be a political crutch.

Our military families, Soldiers, veterans and our honored dead are the backbone of this nation. You shouldn’t have to be reminded to treat us with dignity and respect.

We are the citizens of a free nation founded by rebellious fathers. You will not tread on us.

I don’t care about Melania Trump’s nude photos

My news feeds are overflowing with Melania Trump’s tits today. It’s a bit surreal, since I’m still a bit stoned on painkillers, so seeing her nude photos both by herself and with another nekkid chick is kind of making me feel funny – and not like climbing the rope in gym class funny, either. Just weird.

On one hand, a possible future First Lady being spanking material for horny teenage boys and half the military bases is pretty friggin’ inappropriate… and creepy.

Nope! Not at all, you nauseating jizz monkey!

Nope! Not at all, you nauseating jizz monkey!

Also, I’ll be honest here, the thought of her riding the two-inch hairy baloney pony and his post-coital smirk is making me nauseous enough to reach for the Zofran (the pills they gave me to prevent post-surgical nausea).

There’s a part of me that really wants to see some class in the White House, instead of the gold-accented, tacky, gold-toilet-seat-a-la-Saddam I have of a Trump presidency.

But at the same time, I just don’t care. She did what she did. She had a successful modeling career when she was young. Why should anyone give a damn?

Mostly, though, I don’t give a rat’s flying, rolling fuck because there are  to worry about.

Like Trump’s lack of understanding about how NATO actually works.

Like his complete lack of knowledge and understanding about Putin’s actions in Crimea.

Like his idiotic campaign’s softening of the GOP platform on Ukraine.

Like his campaign manager’s seedy ties to former Ukrainian president and Putin crony Viktor Yanukovych.

Like his lack of respect and understanding of the Constitution, which I have written about too many times to mention.

Trade wars. Lack of understanding about economics and trade policy. The desire to force the military to target innocent family members of terrorists. The desire to deprive Americans of their Second Amendment rights without due process. Those issues concern me.

There are a lot of things to be concerned about with this candidate. Melania’s tits are not on that list, though.

Although the hypocrisy of promising to spend yet more government resources on a commission to examine the “harmful public health impact” of pornography is more than a little striking to me, I’ll admit. But overall, it’s just more big-government shit that makes this candidate even more unappealing.

And no, I’m not posting the photos. Use your Google-fu if you really want to see the tits.

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