You might be a Trumpanzee

Last year I explained the difference between a normal Republican/conservative voter and a Trumpanzee – the shit-flinging, frothing, simians, who have no concept of policy, objectivity, or common sense, and who simply toss turds at anyone who voices disagreement, concern, or even doesn’t display enough love and adoration for the President.

…not the normal Trump supporters, or those who voted for him merely to keep the C-Hag out of the White House – but the smirking, shit-flinging chimps who think Trump can do no wrong, claim that any criticism of their deity means you’re a Hillary supporter, and insist on doing their smarmy little happy dance by rubbing their “victory” in the faces of the #nevertrumpers (those who chose not to vote for Trump), chortling about us eating crow or gnashing our teeth in bitter angst.

These are the same puerile shit swaddlers who called those of us who are ostensibly ideological allies “idiots” and “tacit Hillary supporters,” due to our refusal to worship at the altar of Trump. Any criticism or refusal to cast a vote in his direction was met with derision and the math-challenged claim that a vote for anyone other than Trump meant a vote for Hillary.

Today’s Trumpanzees are no different. Much like the hysterical left that shits its diapers at every single word 45 utters and refuses to acknowledge the positive things he’s done so far or simply misinterprets and outright lies about every act he takes, the Trumpanzee is the creature that creams its diapers at every single assertion the President makes – whether true, partially true, or false – swings its schadenboner around like a drunken frat boy, jumps into defensive mode every time it perceives an attack on its deity, has no concept of policy, and merely supports any and all policies 45 advances, because he happens to be the one who advanced them.

These are the people who have no actual knowledge of events, they have no comprehension of economics, foreign affairs, military affairs, or diplomacy. They toss their allegedly “conservative” values aside and twist like a yogi on meth in their frothing zeal to mold policies they would have never supported before Trump came along into something they can claim is a “victory” or a “conservative” value. They are also the ones who hurl ad hominems at their opponents, who answer every challenge with “Oh, you must be a liberal/Oh, you must have voted for Hillary,” and who accuse their interlocutors of suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome, because they had the unmitigated gall to be critical of the President.

Right Wisconsin editor Charlie Sykes recently penned a column in the New York Times, discussing anti-anti-Trumpism. If you don’t want to give the NYT a click, the meat of the piece is here. What is anti-anti-Trumpism? Well, to me, it’s a nicer way of describing the Trumpanzee.

Here is how it works: Rather than defend President Trump’s specific actions, his conservative champions change the subject to (1) the biased “fake news” media, (2) over-the-top liberals, (3) hypocrites on the left, (4) anyone else victimizing Mr. Trump or his supporters and (5) whataboutism, as in “What about Obama?” “What about Clinton?”

So I figured I’d give you my handy list about how to recognize a Trumpanzee – the frothing, dick-swinging, “WINNING!” lunatics who gleefully promote 45 merely because they “WON!” and despite the fact that the policies they may be promoting are the very antithesis of those they claim to espouse. To do this, I’m going to borrow Jeff Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneck if…” format for some of these, but if you recognize yourself in this list, you might want to engage in some introspection before engaging with others.

1. If your instinctive reaction to any criticism of the President is to hurl the “Trump Derangement Syndrome” (TDS) accusation, you might be a Trumpanzee.

2. If your loathing of the left and your schadenboner at WINNING overshadow your belief in liberty and limited government, you might be a Trumpanzee.

3. If your first response to a criticism of 45’s policies is to accuse your interlocutor of being a Democrat/Hillary supporter, you might be a Trumpanzee.

4. If you rationalize outrageous conduct and defend policies that clearly fly in the face of the conservative values you purport to uphold…

5. If watching the left’s heads “go splodey” is more important to you than advancing the principles of limited government and liberty…

6. If your reaction to opposition to Trump’s policies is an immediate attack on the person who voices said opposition or even death threats

7. If everything except for Breitbart, Gateway Pundit, Conservative Treehouse, Conservative Tribune, Young Cons, *insert any other “conservative” site here* is FAKE NEWS…

…you might be a Trumpanzee.

8. If you accuse the “deep state” of trying to sabotage the President by presenting misinformation, outright lies, or completely inaccurate/uninformed analysis by one of the above sites, you might be a Trumpanzee.

9. If you share positive “news” about the President without checking sources, merely because it strokes your turgid confirmation bias…

10. And if you refuse to read anything that might challenge your perceptions regarding the President, because it happens to be published in the Washington Post/NYT/*insert EEEVIL mainstream media source here*, and swear off any media – conservative, liberal, or otherwise – as soon as they publish anything critical of the President, but will gleefully share memes that don’t actually mean a thing…

…You might be a Trumpanzee.

11. If you cannot defend specific actions by the President, but choose instead to revert to the tried and true “Well, Obama…” or “Hillary would have been worse…” you might be a Trumpanzee.

12. If the liberals hate one of the President’s policies, and you automatically love and ardently defend it, merely because the liberals oppose it, regardless of whether or not it upholds the principles of conservatism, you might be a Trumpanzee.

13. If instead of defending conservative policies, you find yourself only saying things like…

“Trump is doing fine as the political weapon I voted for against the Washington Establishment!”

“While The Republican Congress is playing checkers, Trump is playing Chess!”

“I win!”

“FAKE NEWS!” in response to everything.

“…still infinitely better than Hillary,” in response to everything.

“…you would rather have Hillary…”

“You lost get over it and move on.”

“…your [sic.] bitter and upset that Trump won.”

“You have no clue what the art of the deal is.”

“Your [sic.] cluesless [sic.] how negotiation and leverage works [sic.]”

“Feels good to win. We won, you lost. Now sit down and shut up.”

“I don’t care. I voted for Trump because I didn’t want to lose the Supreme Court for the next 50 years. I didn’t count on him keeping any promises except for the promise to appoint conservatives to the Supreme Court which he will follow.”

“Would anyone want Hillary Clinton in office instead? Hillary would have been the death knell for us all.”

“They’re trying a coup! Obama Administration and Obama Loyalists still in the NSA, DNI and FBI didn’t get the memo about the American Tradition of ‘Peaceful Transition of Power.’ They were using their power for political ends, in conjunction with the MSM.”

But he’s draining the swamp!

…you might be a Trumpanzee.

14. If you accuse anyone who disagrees with the President of being a “leftard,” “leftist,” or of hating America, you might be a Trumpanzee.

None of these are plausible reasons to support bad policies, and yet, these turd bombs are what I see the Trumpanzees hurling when they can’t defend the President’s decisions.

And to be sure, there have been some good decisions so far. Gorsuch for the Supreme Court is, in my opinion, fantastic. Mattis, Kelly, and McMaster make up a competent, intelligent, informed national security team. Steven Mnuchin as Secretary of the Treasury is an informed, engaged, sharp principal. I applaud those appointments.

But I’m not giving him a pass on the “we’ll build a big, beautiful wall and make Mexico pay for it” promise – a wall which he now expects the American taxpayers to fund.

I’m not giving him a pass on the ObamaCare repeal or the reversal on ExIm Bank.

I’m certainly not giving him a pass on appointing Flynn as National Security Advisor and then blaming Obama for giving him a clearance, even though he had been out of government service for more than two years, and done a lot of engagement with the Russians, among others, as a civilian when he accepted the position.

Look, people, there’s not a single President who deserves your blind devotion. Not. A. Single. One. They are human, and they are hardly perfect.

And yet, we see rabid Trumpanzees hysterically attacking anyone who has the temerity to voice a critical opinion of the President – without any knowledge of economics, politics, military doctrine, or understanding of intelligence – just because WE WON, AND YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!

If you find yourself blindly supporting the policies of the President merely because they piss off the left, you are not doing yourself, your country, or your conservative principles any favors. By refusing to acknowledge when one of your own screws up or goes back on a promise, or making excuses for his actions, you’re doing harm. Real harm – both to the conservative movement, and to America. And if you’re defending actions that a year ago you found indefensible due to your conservative principles, you’re doing harm. Real harm.

We should hold all our elected officials accountable to the people, holding their feet to the fire for broken promises or policies that contradict the principles on which they were elected, and that is what should be important, rather than basing our judgments on whether or not the left is unhappy. If you fail to be objective because you’re so busy swinging your dick around about WINNING, you don’t deserve to win.

Allowing the left to dictate right and wrong based on their histrionic screeching is not particularly bright, and it reflects poorly on conservatives writ large.

We have a duty to be objective when it comes to our leaders. We have an obligation to question them when warranted. We have a responsibility to be informed.

I realize it’s a whole lot easier to just pop some popcorn and defend the indefensible just to watch the left’s heads explode. It’s certainly more fun than doing some research and actually admitting that your guy isn’t even close to perfect. I get it. You voted for him. You would feel responsible.

It’s much easier to deflect attention for a President’s failures to his enemies, and it’s certainly a lot more entertaining to simply ridicule the unhinged left than to face possible failures in the people for whom we cast votes.

And it’s certainly much more superficially satisfying to shove your fist down the “enemy’s” throat, while loudly proclaiming your WINNING! while pouring dirt on those who take the time to research and understand the policies involved, because they’re not jubilantly proclaiming the greatness of the leader you worship.

That’s not conservatism. The fact that the Trumpanzees are in the process of transforming conservatism into the turds they eventually fling at their perceived enemies is disturbing.

Cue flood of Trumpanzees engaging in some or all of the above behavior in 3…2…1…


34 responses

  1. Disagree on one point:

    “I don’t care. I voted for Trump because I didn’t want to lose the Supreme Court for the next 50 years. I didn’t count on him keeping any promises except for the promise to appoint conservatives to the Supreme Court which he will follow.”

    Change that to “… which he seems to be following,” and you’ve got me and a bunch of other almost-never-Trumpers.

    Oh, and when we say, “I don’t care,” it’s a lie: we care very much, but after the first dozen major scandals (which the press is ignoring) we just might not be in a good mood to discuss them anymore, and want to instead relax with some popcorn and schadenfreude pie as we watch the Left freak out over “Rooskies!!1!” and “Two scoops of ice cream!”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey, I copied it directly from a Trumpanzee comment. Don’t blame me! LOL


    2. That actually may have been something, or akin to something, I said. However, I am not a Trumpanzee. Some of the things he’s done make me cringe. I think they’re rushing the healthcare thing. This is just going to add more confusion and, I fear, cost to the consumer. I care very much about SCOTUS appointments. That was my number one reason for voting for him. So far, so good.

      I know of no president or other elected official that keeps every promise they make. During the campaign you realize there’s no way it would get through Congress. Obama’s maneuvering aside, a president cannot just unilaterally make changes. I don’t care who builds the wall or if it ever truly becomes what he is describing. As a South Texan just beefing up the damn security along the existing border would be a big freaking help. I’m sick of not even being able to communicate with people anymore because of a language barrier.

      We won’t even get into the other problems border jumpers cause. Folks in non-border states just don’t understand the level of the problem. Anyone, anyone at all that will truly do something to improve it has my confidence as well as that of an awful lot of other Texans, New Mexicans, and Arizonans. It a very serious and costly problem.

      Healthcare rounds out my top three. Seven years ago, we had excellent insurance at a fair price. Now it’s nearly double the premium, we have a huge deductible, and it hardly covers any what it used to cover and some medications aren’t covered at all any more. I’ve just paid a stack of out-of-pocket bills as I’m chronically ill and at the doctor all the damn time. And I learned today of another big one I potentially have coming soon. Things are not going well with our pocketbook of late.

      I hardly worship the ground the man walks on. I think someone needs to take over his Twitter account for him and keep him off of it. 140 characters just leads to him popping off. I think he’s a lot smarter than he appears and/or people give him credit for. And I am getting sick to death of every little move his makes being splashed across headlines and all the good he has done is being ignored. He has to get hold of his message or he is going to get buried in, yes, a false narrative.

      I am not a sycophant. He annoys the crap out of me sometimes. I do see him growing and learning a bit (a bit) more discretion as he goes along. I just want folks to give the man half a chance. The same chance I gave Obama when he, against my fervent wishing, was elected twice. I do think he left this nation in a right royal mess. He screws up and I for one, personally, tell him when I think he’s screwing up. I’m glad we now have a president that I feel I can do that without being personally ruined. Let’s give the man a damn chance.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. During the primaries, I had said that of the 17 Republican candidates, Trump was my 25th choice.

    On the other hand, Clinton was my one-trillionth choice, putting her behind the entire human race, the entire animal and plant kingdoms, and an assortment of small counter-top appliances.

    Liked by 6 people

    1. That is why I make the distinction. Here are many people who felt as you did.


    2. I dunno, i think i should have voted Sunbeam Toaster.

      Liked by 4 people

      1. Having the “luxury” of living in Massachusetts where the only possibly challenger to Hillary would have been Ted Kennedy (yes, I know, he’s dead. But this is Massachusetts). I voted for either a small machine shop or an uncomfortable surgical procedure: Johnson Weld.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Some of the Trumpanzees cant explain what the conservative principles are because, simply, they don’t know them,

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I do agree but.
    If Trump does appoint strict constructionist judges and follows though on nothing else we will still be way ahead.
    Objectively, Killery would have been much worse no matter what other idiocy Trump commits from here out. Yes he could have been better but he hasn’t done too badly so far.
    And, it is one hell of a lot of fun watching leftards heads explode.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Is it OK to enjoy the oppositions meltdowns AND look analytically at what he does? I do enjoy those meltdowns. Al Greens call for impeachment made all the news here in Houston and he came off looking really dumb…. i am giving the Donald the benefit of a doubt for now, but he is beginning to try my patience. I mean he was elected as a “Not a Politician” but does he have to keep proving it over and over? I would have thought he knew the right way to fire someone by now….

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yep. Absolutely!


    2. I’m just trying to be careful of becoming uncaring about any of it. What amuses me the most though is WaPo’s melodrama with “Democracy Dies in Darkness”, the schmaltz from various and sundry “journalists” with “The Truth is More Important Now Than EVAH!” and the almost hourly hair-on-fire reporting interspersed with stupid shit like ice cream and “Where’s the MLK bust?!!1!”. The media meltdowns are my probably my favorite part.

      The left is freaking about about things that have not happened to them. They have not lost any rights, they still have abortion, the government is still subsidizing their insurance premiums, old folks are still getting their SS checks, and so much more that has not changed.

      For this I’m called a Trump lover by the left. But say one word about Trump’s proclivity for tweeting out every thought that comes to mind (and some of it is so sophomoric) I’m called a Trump hater by the right.

      I’m a woman without a party or country.


      1. Some crazy, unhinged bitch a while ago called me a Trump supporter and a whole host of other names. I think I blogged about it at some point with screen caps. It was classic! LOL


  6. I very rarely engage Trumptards these days. I’ve found it’s just too easy to confuse them when you ask about his verbal diarrhea that goes directly against specific policy statements made by his flustercluck WH press folks. Fish…barrel…shotgun.

    Liked by 3 people

  7. My basic perspective is that whoever the current President is, that person is *our employee*. If they fail to operate according to the rules of the Constitution, then I’m looking for someone else to hire next election.

    And I would really, *really* like to be able to vote FOR someone rather than against all the other even worse candidates.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Sigh. You and me both.


    2. Yea, my first time voting in a presidential election. Great choices, guys, is this what I studied all that citizenship stuff for?

      Liked by 2 people

  8. I am definitely NOT a Trumpanzee. I think he’s made as many mistakes as he has made good decisions. Only time and real history will sort that out.

    What I do detest is the kind of thing WaPo tried to pull off today with the following story that Trump had discussed classified stuff with a Russian official, stuff that has to do with one of our allies and ISIS. Sec. McMaster appeared briefly and did not mince words: “It didn’t happen. I was in the room.”

    Here’s a link to the story.

    It appears on the surface to be a Seekrit Squirrel thing that was made up out of whole cloth, BUT – if there IS any substance to it, I want to know what that substance is.

    However, if Sec. McMaster says ‘It did not happen. I was there,’ then who was it started this story and why?

    If you were not around when the Watergate hearings were going on, the entire episode was leaked to Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward by someone inside the White House, the infamous Deep Throat, whose real identity may or may not have been revealed a few years ago. The revolting shenanigans approved by Richard Nixon, which involved breaking into the DNC’s headquarters at the Watergate Hotel and Daniel Ellsberg’s shrink’s office to find Ellsberg’s file (kept under a false name) brought the White House and Nixon’s administration to its knees.

    If WaPo is trying to crank up another Watergate, this is a very clumsy attempt at it. Therefore, until or unless I am informed otherwise, I’m taking McMaster’s word for it that It did NOT happen.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Actually, that’s not exactly right. McMaster didn’t deny information was shared. What he said was that Trump didn’t reveal any sources and methods, which the Post NEVER claimed he did.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. ‘The president and the foreign minister reviewed a range of common threats to our two countries, including threats to civil aviation. At no time — at no time — were intelligence sources or methods discussed,’ McMaster said.

      The Post story didn’t say Trump revealed sources and methods – but rather that he passed on to the Russians highly classified information obtained from an ally.

      ‘The president did not disclose any military operations that were not already publicly known,’ McMaster added, something the Post story never contended occurred.

      Read more:
      Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook


    3. Not arguing the point about the info itself, Nicki, but McMaster did say ‘I was in the room. It didn’t happen.’ at the end of his rebuttal to the WaPo story.

      The video is at this link on TAH.


      1. I saw it. He was referring to the retardery about him spilling classified info. He’s correct. It didn’t happen, because Trump is the President, and the ultimate classification authority.


    4. The Administration story isn’t adding up. Both McMasters and Spicer are claiming that Trump couldn’t have revealed the sources & methods on the information, because……wait for it…..he wasn’t briefed on it.

      How would he have had any details on a topic that is claimed he wasn’t briefed on? Not to mention, that this subject was clearly in one of his recent PDBs.


  9. Trump could gain 20 points if he’d just stop embarrassing people who wish him well, even if they didn’t vote for him.


  10. For me, it still comes down to “330 million people, and *those* were the two we had to choose from?!”

    I still maintain we could do just as well with the Presidential Powerball Lottery. Run the balls until a valid Social Security Number comes up, determine if the person identified is within the official age limits, and they’re the President for the next four years.

    Naysayers sometimes object with variations on, “What if we got someone who was a criminal, mentally defective, or of poor moral character?”

    To which I reply, “And how would those be any different then the candidates we already get?”

    Liked by 4 people

    1. “a criminal, mentally defective, or of poor moral character”
      That’s as good of a description of politicians as I’ve ever heard. And it’s frequently all three.


  11. I’m in an odd place with Trump. The Supreme Court appointment alone makes it worth the effort I expended to hold my nose when I went to the voting booth. That was big. It gives us a few more years of the Left not being able to gain ground on gun control.

    And I really do loathe media, and think a lot of folks in the government are out to screw him. Some because he’s Republican (see: Bush Derangement Syndrome), some because he’s Trump (goes without saying and possibly somewhat justifiable), and others because he’s NOT Clinton. Call it the “Deep State” if you want. But whatever the hell it is, it exists (if, perhaps, not in the conspiritard sense it’s often used in), and it’s irritating.

    I’m just so sick of media bias. Say, 80% of the outlets are screeching leftist monkeys throwing shit from the left, and of the remaining 20%, at least half are screeching Infowars-type conspiracy-theory muck.

    At the same time, this doesn’t excuse Trump’s failures. Even Ann Coulter has been giving him a lot of shit lately for failing on the budget deal, with taxes, failing with Obamacare’s removal, and failing with the Wall/border security. I give him no pass on any of this shit, and quite frankly if I don’t see movement on at least some of this shit, as far as I’m concerned he can get booted out in 2020. I mean, where was the Mr. Deal-maker and master negotiator we were sold, eh? Some deals he’s made, right? Gag me.

    As they say, ain’t nobody got time for that.

    As for all the toxic drama spewing from both the administration and the media… what was once a schadenboner has now become entertainment. Grab your popcorn, and watch the drama unfold.

    I hate that this is what my country has come to, but I’m also in a place where there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it, except watch the fireworks from a distance and blog about the bullshit.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m not one to fall at the feet of any President, past, present or future. I try to vote for the candidate who I feel is the least threat to freedom. Did we get that this time? We’ll see. I do enjoy watching the media explode every time he says something. With Trump don’t pay attention to what he says, pay attention to what he does. Obama said all the right things and the media ate it up with a spoon, but they paid little attention to what he did. I think this is one of the fundamental differences between the Right and Left. The Left listens to what people say and doesn’t watch what people do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think most of my readers here are pretty objective – they at least are willing to criticize the President when he does something ridiculous. Not so much in other places. Witness the glory after I posted the WaPo article from yesterday about Trump’s meetings with the Russians. Note, I said he did nothing illegal technically, because as the President, he is the ultimate classification authority, but revealing information provided by another ally to the Russians is ill advised and dangerous.

      Dan Davis
      Dan Davis Yeah, Yeah since they can find no collusion with Russia over election, someone in CIA, gives Trump info. maybe not telling him the nature of it.
      Then leaks it’s release.
      Like · Reply · Message · 11 hrs
      Nicki Kenyon
      Nicki Kenyon BOOM! Blog post proven right.
      Like · Reply · 10 hrs
      Dan Davis
      Dan Davis Glad you’re Happy.
      Like · Reply · Message · 10 hrs
      Dave Arr
      Dave Arr Nicki Kenyon proven wrong again. Just because you say it doesn’t make it true.
      Like · Reply · Message · 7 hrs
      Nicki Kenyon
      Nicki Kenyon And another! Nice to have people prove my points for me. 😁
      Like · Reply · Message · 2 hrs
      Dan Davis
      Dan Davis Proves nothing, just as my post proves nothing. Since neither of us was there. However, you cannot convince me that Trump is hated by the criminal political establishment. No doubt that he is Moron, but that hardly proves anything .

      I could just as easily say that your post proves my point that leftist are deluded.
      Like · Reply · Message · 1 hr
      Dan Davis
      Dan Davis…/trump-defiles-the-sanctity-of…/

      Trump Defiles the Sanctity of Government, and It Drives the…
      Like · Reply · Message · Remove Preview · 1 hr
      Nicki Kenyon
      Nicki Kenyon Dan Davis – the fact that you “think” I’m a leftist shows you to be completely unable to read and comprehend plain English – or unwilling to challenge your own narrative. Actually, it shows you incapable of rational thought. It’s amusing you don’t even understand what I’m talking about here, but that’s kind of par for the course, from what I’m seeing.…/

      “However, you cannot convince me that Trump is hated by the criminal political establishment.” — What the hell does that even mean? ENGLISH, MOTHERFUCKER! Do you speak it?

      Trump Defends Releasing Codeword Classified Intel to Russians
      Donald Trump is harming our ability to protect…
      Like · Reply · Remove Preview · Just now


  13. We (voters) stopped voting for someone long ago. Proof is the last president. Don’t know who he was, where he was from, what he stood for, what his Social Security number was, etc. What we did know was that he was an enigma. But America put him into office twice, with a little help from the Media, a corrupt DNC and a lot of lying, deceiving mouthpieces.

    We voted for Trump, not because we liked him, identified with him or knew what he would do, but because he would drain the swamp, fight the media and try to bring back America.

    You can’t do that without breaking a few eggs.


    1. “Draining the swamp.” Right.

      Spicer – communications director of the Republican National Committee from 2011 to 2017, and its chief strategist from 2015 to 2017.

      Priebus – served as the Republican National Committee chairman and RNC general counsel.

      Sitting members of the legislative branch appointed to CIA, DNI, DOJ, etc.

      Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao – married to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell.

      DeVos as Education Secretary…

      I can go on, but you get my drift. Spare me!


    2. I voted for him simply because he wasn’t Killery.
      Didn’t trust him, still don’t.


  14. To me, it was a binary vote and I voted “Not Hillary”
    Full stop.


  15. Not a Trumpanzee, didn’t vote for Trump, Clinton, Johnson or write in a vote (didn’t vote for anybody but that’s another story about how a veteran’s vote was suppressed) but I do take pleasure in watching people literally lose their shit 24/7 about Trump. If they’re freaking out about 2 scoops of ice cream, they would’ve been curled up in a fetal ball if they saw the way dinner was served in the flag mess aboard ship!

    With that being said, I cringe pretty much every time President Trump speaks. He definitely needs a handler.


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