Sex toys in school?

I think this story tells us volumes about the principal of Trinity Lutheran School in Racine, as well as the pastor and the school board – certainly more than it tells us about the kid implicated in this sordid tale.

Here’s the BLUF.

Kid gets permission to sell water snake wigglies at school.

In case you’re unfamiliar, they’re plastic toys – bags essentially – filled with water and sometimes confetti or glitter that are wiggly and hard to hold. They’re fun little toys. I’m sure at least some of us have played with them in our youth.

Sexually repressed, possibly mentally unstable principal accuses 12-year-old child of selling “sex toys” in school, and apparently yells at her at a basketball game for selling them evil,perverted sex toys.

Child is suspended for three days.

Father goes on a crusade (pun fully intended) to clear his daughter’s name, as well he should.


…the principal at Trinity Lutheran School accused the student of selling what she thought were sex toys.

The school’s pastor, David Gehne, said this issue already went before the school board, which sided with the principal.

Seriously, WHAT???

Now, look. I suppose anything can be used as a sex toy these days if you’re ambitious enough. There are enough inventive perverts out there to make hardware stores mean something completely different. Apparently this principal, this pastor, and this school board have some… uh… predilections (alternately, the lot of them is incredibly inexperienced and probably dull as shit in bed), if they’re considering something specifically designed to be difficult to hold on to as a sex toy.

But to ruin a kid’s administrative record with a disciplinary action, because of inexperience, personal perversions, or just plain ignorance? That’s just a no!

The school has also doubled down on the stupid and blamed students for “sexualizing” these toys, claiming this was disruptive to learning.

They claim they tried to shut down the sale of these evil sex toys water wigglies.

They claim the student had no permission to sell these toys.

Oh, and parents complained, because their kids, being kids and all, were snortling childishly at these toys, because PENIS!

So a kid who ostensibly got permission from a teacher to sell these fun little stress-relieving toys was punished because a) 12 year old kids were being 12 year old kids b) some idiot parents were disturbed that their 12 year old kids were being 12 year old kids, and c) because the principal, the pastor, and the school board are closet pervs, who think anything remotely phallus shaped is shameful! Freud would be so proud!

Add this to the zero tolerance extra stupid, I guess. So grateful my kids are all grown up!


11 responses

  1. > because PENIS!

    “The Penis is evil! The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill! Zardoz has spoken.”

    Liked by 3 people

  2. The stupid… it BURNS.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is where I wonder if some of these people were ever actually 12 years old themselves. Or ever had a childhood.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s a mystery how some can manage to use language while having no brain.


    1. They don’t require a brain to spew shit. It’s just a reversal of where the duodenum exits, and where their mouth should be.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. So, none of these adults eat hot dogs or Polish sausages, right?

    Because that’s like – eeeewwww!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Shit like this is why we need to bring back tarring and feathering.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Back in the day I was young and naive and heard that Monica used Altoids as a sex toy with Randy Willy. But unlike this principal, I understood I was ignorant and asked a friend. Unlike the principal who hasn’t mastered the principle of solving ignorance, I still buy Altoids.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Only if your kids have taken a vow of celibacy and you expect no Grandchildren


  9. I hear it all the time, how Christians think sexuality is something to be hidden, and it is evil. These jerkwads are probably the reason that such a perverted idea of sex exists. Sex is something that God gave to humanity as a gift. If humans were not supposed to enjoy sex, and only consider it for procreation, then sex during pregnancy would be physically unpleasant for at least one of the two participants, something that I think is not true. And for those of you who are Christians and think I am all wet, remember that God introduced Adam and Eve to sex before their fall from grace, when sin entered the world. And as far as selling those water wiggles and having them considered as sex toys, and getting into trouble, if I were that kids parent, I would make her stop. The next week, she would be selling fruits and vegetables. Cucumbers, Zucchini, etc. I would force the school to say that those were bad as well, and continue to come up with fun ways to make them look like jackasses. Maybe even a veggie stand just across the road from the school, as an afternoon business. Advertise the biggest and firmest cucumbers in town, or something. Oh, the fun that could be had, at the expense of prudishness and hypocrites.


  10. Hmmm.
    I remember encountering these things back in college.
    I also remember someone remarking on them being sex toys… which had the rest of us scratching our heads. Noting our puzzlement, he allowed as how maybe it was a gay thing.
    I still don’t get it.
    Sex toy? Really?

    Liked by 1 person

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