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Open letter to “feminists”

Dear Femtard Morons –

Yes, I call you this, and I’ve put “feminist” in quotes as the title of this post, implying you’re frauds, because you can hardly be compared to the strong, free, independent women who are your predecessors and who paved the way for women’s equal rights. The only thing you have in common with these heroes are your vaginas…

… and even that’s no longer a guarantee, given that there are those among you who were born with a penis, but have claimed your gender as their own. 

For the record, I don’t consider you simpering, triggered, vacuous, perpetually offended, pussy hat-wearing femtards, hiding behind your plumbing (or in some cases bathing in mea culpas for the crime of being born with male “privilege”) and eschewing actual accomplishments and hard work, feminists. 

You want to be considered strong without actually working to become so. 

You want recognition as equal to men without working to make your accomplishments equal to men’s. 

You think you’re entitled to the world without earning the world, because you own a twat (sometimes).

You think your perpetual offense entitles you to consideration and respect. 

And you think your faults should be revered, because you happen to have two X chromosomes, instead of working to overcome them. You use your ostensible “feminism” as an excuse for your failures, while demanding special treatment because of it. 

When you have purged the last vestiges of anything that could possibly chafe your fragile labia from society’s lexicon, entertainment venues, schools, and workplaces, you are compelled find new sources of butthurt, because otherwise you will no longer be able to quell your feelings of entitlement by shaming others into worshipping at the altar of your inadequacies. 

Well, I’m here to tell you I’ve stopped paying attention to your impotent squeaks a long time ago. 

When everything is offensive, nothing is, and you’ve ceased being relevant. 

Want proof?

Two words: Wonder Woman

Apparently, the paragon of feminine strength, virtue, and beauty is giving you whining shrews heartburn, because ARMPITS! She shaved her armpits!!! 

And because you blithering harpies decided that armpit hair is “feminist,” anything that doesn’t toe your arbitrary line doesn’t qualify and must be offensive!

“FAKE FEMINISM!” screeches someone whose Twitter avatar is a man. (Let’s hope this was sarcasm, but you just never know in this crazy world.)

“I just don’t buy the idea that #Wonderwoman would shave her armpits,” squeaks another alleged “man,” who calls himself @anothernewdad. 

Others weren’t “offended” per se, but had to air their armpit disagreement. 

“controversial hot take: i wish #WonderWoman had visible armpit hair. she was raised on an island of women w/no schick advertisements”

And this, dear feminists – both male and female – is why no one takes you seriously. 

I love Wonder Woman. As a kid, I wanted to be Wonder Woman. I wanted to be smart, dedicated, independent, and strong. I wanted to save the country again and again. And as a fan, I’m squealing with excitement about the Wonder Woman movie coming out this summer!

And you screeching morons are ruining it, much like you spoil everything that’s fun, everything that’s exciting, and everything that doesn’t comport with your crazed, unhinged view of the world – a view that tosses economics, science, common sense, decency, and logic under the bus in favor of faux indignation, abdication of personal responsibility, and sanction of anyone who dares to disagree with you as an oppressive member of the patriarchy. 

I don’t consider you part of my definition of feminism. I don’t like you. I hate the fact that you insist on sticking your protruding probosces into everything I’ve ever enjoyed and reinvent it into dull-witted, boring, vaginal superiority- and identity politics-filled garbage a la the all-femme “Ghostbusters.”

You want to invent brand new gender identities for yourselves? Be my guest. That’s the very definition of a free country. But don’t think for a moment you will force me to accept your self-identification as a coffee table, and don’t think for a moment I will take your self-righteous whining as a cue to suspend reality in favor of your twisted worldview. 

You want to color your unshaven pit hair in all the colors of the rainbow? Great! Go for it. But don’t you dare stick your unwashed, unshaven armpits in my face and demand I accept them and worship them as beautiful. 

I don’t care if you’re triggered. 

I don’t care if you’re offended. 

I don’t care if Diana Prince has clean shaven armpits in the Wonder Woman movie. She’s a fictional character. Get over it. 

I don’t care if you’re offended that Major Motoko Kusanagi won’t be Asian in the movie adaptation of “Ghost in the Shell.” She’s a fictional character with lots of “shells” as her cyborg bodies. She could be anyone. 

I don’t care about your precious feelings, just as you don’t care about the feelings of millions of people who don’t toe your ideological line and go as far as to marginalize their experiences and lives because they’re part of the whole cisheteropatriarchy garbage boogieman you have created and taught yourselves to despise. 

Stop trying to ruin my fun!

A pissed off woman 

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19 responses

  1. I’m a firm supporter of equal rights for women (and I do have a penis), but imo the Women’s Movement went horribly wrong when much of it stopped being a civil rights movement and became a leftist political one.

    Also, I thought everyone knew that, due to their genetic makeup, Amazonian women never develop hair in their armpits, around their genital areas, or on their legs, and are in fact completely hairless below their necks for their entire lives.*

    *Ain’t fiction great? It makes anything possible. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I’m not much of a consumer of Hollywood fare, but after watching the trailers, it appears Wonder Woman will be worth a watch.

      I still cannot see how the presence of hairy ‘pits would improve it. However, I wonder what are the odds that the studio, the producer, the director, and the featured players will soon be issuing abject apologies for that shocking oversight on their parts.

      Like

      1. I’ve not been that fond of the DCverse stuff that’s been coming out, but the fact that Chris Pine is playing Steve Trevor is making me want to watch Wonder Woman even MORE (I was interested in watching the Wonder Woman movie already). I like him as an actor; he gives me the same vibes watching the movie as watching a Dwayne Johnson movie does (largely because I get the impression he enjoys the characters he plays.)

        Like

  2. I know! Let’s do a Kickstarter project to fund a version of Wonder Woman in which the heroine is a hairy lesbian from a culture that predates soap. This version of WW will disdain cis-male constructs like binary evil/good. Ze will only dispense justice as decided by consensus. Ze will actually be forced into such a role because zirs culture is 100% vegan, resulting in neural under-development in all the offspring. (A prequel can explain how these hirsute cavewomyn even have offspring.)

    Then we start a betting pool on how long it takes to get sufficient donations for more than a 50 page flipbook animation.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hmm… and since we want to avoid stereotypes of beauty imposed by outdated notions like “health,” “child-bearing capacity,” or just plain evil cis-male lust, we absolutely must cast exactly the right person in the role of Whatzit Womyn.

      Trigglypuff.

      I admit, this will raise the funding requirements substantially, to purchase enough food to maintain that bulk. On the other hand, this greatluy expands the possibilities for fat-shaming supervillains.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. It amazes me how many folks place such great importance in me acknowledging and participating in their mental illness…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The problem with feminism now is that it doesn’t mean what it used to mean. In the past, feminism meant striving for equality between the sexes. As an example, old school feminism argued that if a woman wanted to be a firefighter, she should have the opportunity to do so… provided that she can pass the required tests. She had to be able to lift, carry, run, and perform at the same level as any other firefighter, regardless of genitalia. This is an idea that any reasonable person can support.

    The problem is that feminism isn’t about that anymore. Feminists today crow about how they’re strong and they don’t need a man’s help… but they will happily take every penny they can get of alimony after divorce, and gleefully advocate that other women do the same. Feminists today demand that men be active partners in child-rearing… but they will use their children as weapons against men, with the aid of an archaic court system. Referring to the firefighter example, they’ll demand that the tests be made easier so more women can pass, rather than working to meet the standard.

    Modern feminists demand equality, right up until equality carries a negative consequence. They see no issue with a woman physically assaulting a man, yet howl with outrage if the man dares to defend himself. They want to be able to hit, but then play the victim when their conduct results in retaliation. They play the provocateur, then pitch a hissy fit over the response their behavior provokes.

    The most grimly amusing part of modern feminism is their insistence that a woman be free to make her own choices… right up until a woman makes a choice they don’t like. They’ll sneer at a woman who chooses to be a stay-at-home mom. If a woman doesn’t wholeheartedly embrace the dogma, then she’s not a real woman. Or she’s been programmed by the cisheteropatriachy, or some stupid thing.

    I’m so damn glad my wife never got sucked into their foolishness. She works her ass off at her career and is the primary breadwinner, since she out-earns me by a fair margin. She’s tough, smart, independent, and driven to succeed in a traditionally male-dominated industry. She has nothing but scorn for today’s “feminists.”

    Unfortunately, it’s hard to tell if there are a lot of “feminists” out there, or if there are relatively few of them and they just have their volume stuck at 11.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. So much this!!! Thank you!

      Like

    2. Indeed – and I am old enough to remember a lot of those ‘first female in …. something or other military specialty” (or even civilian occupation.) Those women worked their butts off to prove they could do the jobs, be stand-up troops, no whining allowed in the early and mid1970s. Give them a fair chance to do the damned job, on equal terms … and now these speshul snowflakes want the requirements dialed back so that the numbers of people doing the job are equal. Never mind about capabilities, both physical and intellectual …

      I remember my first station manager, sometime in about 1978 or so, saying that he would love to command an all-woman broadcast detachment, because every women in it would have worked double-hard just to get there, and to do the job and make rank. He’d have command of a det which would stomp every other military broadcast outlet in quality of product, and he relished that prospect, even though there weren’t enough female troops in the field at that time to do it. He passed away a couple of years ago — but I don’t think there’s a station manger/det chief out there now who would say the same thing.

      Thanks, establishment feminist speshul-snowflakes – wrecking professional and personal man-woman relationships for the last ten or fifteen years!

      Liked by 2 people

  5. The perfect answer to that is “Show me a single comic book panel in the entire history of Wonder Woman where she has hairy pits.” They’re just being faithful to the source material.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That’s the perfect answer, and the publicists should cling to it as if it were their favorite puppy …

      For myself, I am increasingly more disgusted and horrified by the establishment, official and capital F feminists. These creatures are not fit to carry Susan B. Anthony’s jockstrap. (Said in Leghorn Foghorn voice – “That’s a joke, son!”)

      Liked by 3 people

  6. Oh, so this started with armpit hair…..I’m personally one of the least feminine females you’ll ever meet, but I am an advocate of waxing armpits. The reason actually isn’t appearance, it’s that it pulls/catches/irritates when it’s there, and also because having hair in that zone is a breeding ground for bacteria.

    I don’t say anything when I see a gal with hairy armpits, as I just figure she’s just not in to that sort of thing (or forgot for the week); regardless, I’m glad WW had shaved armpits. I think if she had hair there to make a statement or whatever (ala Lola Kirke: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/lola-kirke-talks-about-getting-death-threats-over-hairy-armpits/) it would be a distraction, as well as take away from her sleek superhero appearance. Just my two cents.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the “I dare you.” look on her face.

      Like

  7. Christopher M. Chupik | Reply

    Feminism has degenerated into endless, malicious nitpicking. If you change in response to one criticism, they’ll find ten more for you to be guilty of.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Lots of gay guys shave their armpits. Do we have to stop now? Or only if we decide we are chicks?

    Liked by 2 people

  9. I keep hearing a lot of flak about Gender Gaps. I have an idea instead of discussing whether or not the jobs each chooses has different pay or the time working is the same, I will stipulate their Gender Wage Gap claims and agree that we must eliminate ALL Gender Gaps and make everything Equal. They just have to offer to do the same with the Death Gap. Yes it turns out 93% of all workplace fatalities are Men. So how many feminists are willing to Trade Gaps?

    Liked by 2 people

  10. When I was in the Army I had some equipment that came packed in hardened cases that were clearly and prominently marked “Two man, or 4-person lift”. Because equality.

    Like

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