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You Will Pry My Kerrygold from My Cold, Dead Hands

For those of you who don’t know, I eat a ketogenic diet. It’s not some diet fad, but a way of eating I’ve been strictly following for months. This way of eating, which forces the body to burn fats rather than carbohydrates, is primarily used  to treat difficult-to-control epilepsy in children, but there’s also been some evidence that suggests it helps curb migraines. It definitely helped me.

Butter is encouraged in this way of eating, and grass-fed butter is particularly healthy, because it contains high levels of healthy fats that make this way of eating particularly effective.

kerrygoldEnter Kerrygold. I love Kerrygold. Once I tasted Kerrygold, there was no going back! You can tell the difference immediately. It’s softer, smoother, and more golden delicious than regular butter. It’s good on literally everything! Heck, I could eat it plain.

In Wisconsin, however, the bureaucrats apparently couldn’t just allow people to enjoy their butter. Nope! The nanny state food bureaucrats just have to protect people from non-“expert” examined butter!

In 1970, a law was passed which required that all butter intended for commercial purposes within Wisconsin first be put before a panel of “experts” responsible for grading the product based on a set of state standards. This law, which had largely been forgotten or at least ignored for decades, has now become an issue once again thanks to the rise of high fat diets.

[…]

Since Kerrygold is based in Ireland, its products do not go through the same regulatory processes as American products. Without an official American-issued quality grade, the nanny state of Wisconsin is refusing to allow this butter to be sold on its grocery store shelves, despite overwhelming consumer demand.

Now, Kerrygold butter is being pulled from shelves and store owners are being threatened with hefty fines and even jail time if they fail to comply with these state regulations.

It’s all for your protection, citizen. Just shut up and buy what the state tells you to buy.

The butter police have spoken.

Wisconsin has veeeeeery strict standards about what kind of butter they will allow on the store shelves – you know, for the common good. It doesn’t matter that people love the product. It doesn’t matter that Kerrygold has never harmed anyone in the years it’s been sold in the United States.

Wisconsin has STANDARDS, dammit, and they will enforce them for your own good! But who really benefits? Certainly it’s not the consumers, who are literally driving across state lines into neighboring states to purchase the product they love! Certainly not Kerrygold, which has to bow down to the mighty cheese police and implement whatever ridiculous demands the state of Wisconsin imposes on them, which will likely make Kerrygold products more expensive for consumers to purchase.

So who benefits?

What’s Wisconsin most known for (other than beer and the Green Bay Packers)? Dairy products. Cheese. Milk. BUTTER!

And you know what happens when them dang foreigners flood the market with a quality product that people love more than Wisconsin cheese? Wisconsin dairy farmers lose profits.

So instead of improving their product to compete with Kerrygold, they apparently decided to shut the irksome competitor out of the market via government force.

You know what it smells like? Corruption and cronyism, that’s what.

Because if you don’t think Wisconsin’s dairy farmers have a metric fuckload of pull with the state legislature, I have this bridge…

Now, apparently Wisconsin is the only state in the Union that has these absurd cheese control regulations. Thank goodness for that, because if Virginia decided to bow down to some greedy lobby representing people whose way of dealing with quality competition is to use government force to cheat themselves a bigger market share, I’d become a cheese outlaw.

No one takes my Kerrygold!

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44 responses

  1. I predict sneaky online workarounds. “Hey Bill, your state has this stuff, can you send me a pile?” “Sure, Joe.”

    I have amusing mental images of clandestine runs across the state line to get Kerrygold and sell it at a mark up… and grocery stores springing up AT the state line stocked full of the stuff.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Go find a video or text of Bob Uecker talking about how he was born (It might have been a Hall of Fame speech). He jokes that is folks were on a “Margarine Run” to Illinois because back then Wisconsin outlawed margarine. They also outlawed it being yellow when they allowed it in the state. Niven, Flynn and Pournelle skewer Wisconsin politics and “Proxmires” in Fallen Angels.

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      1. *snerk* Out…lawed… margarine? *snerk, snort, giggle*

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        1. Well, where do you think Sewer Socialism and all that led to over time? (~_^)

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      2. It’s true. Margarine in Wisconsin was sold in a pouch with a dye button in it that you had to pop inside the pouch, and mix with the oleomargarine (the correct name) to get the nice, appetizing yellow color. My grandmother lived in Fort Atkinson. Every time we went to visit her, she’d have margarine instead of butter, because it was what she was used to. At my aunt’s house, it was butter. My mother thought butter was just terrible stuff and wouldn’t buy it. The schools I went to all offered butter instead of margarine with lunches. As soon as I ran away to sea, I started putting butter in the icebox and never went back to margarine.

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  2. The phenomena is known a regulatory capture; it’s why so many businesses need accredited employees to do things like hair braiding, why Uber and Lyft have trouble wherever they go. On the other hand, where do shop for kerrygold? I had a stroke a few years ago and to my surprise butter is on the ‘good for you’ list and margarine isn’t. Every supermarket chain in Phoenix (and Scottsdale) have dropped many of what used to be a plethora of brands.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve not had their butter, but I do like their Dubliner cheese.

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      1. I literally have a brick of Dubliner in my fridge from Costco.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I used to get it at HEB. Here though, I try to snag Steve’s (small creamery down south of Green Bay) when ever I can, almost the best ever cheddar (tastes just like my uncles did back when he was a cheesemaster)

          Liked by 2 people

    2. Thinking about it, I need to see if the stores on the Wisconsin side of the river have Kerrygold in them. I think I’ve only seen it on this side the river. Except for a Walmart, and an Aldi’s, the local Supermarkets are all the same company, but I do notice not all of them have the same stuff (one in Wisconsin is much smaller, but it has a better deli than the bigger one there)

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    3. I’ve had good luck with hilariously enough Winco and Fry’s. While I can’t do cow dairy, I still notice the variety as my SigniOth can still have cheese. I’m in the Phoenix too, hence the knowing.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I sorely miss WinCo and Dutch Brothers. I had to move from Oregon to northern Arkansas which is the ass end of nowhere.

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    4. Where to get it? I can sometimes get Kerrygold stuff at Aldi, a store I hope NEVER goes away. Spanish cheese, Italian asiago, Romanian cheese – I live the life of a Queen, for Pete’s sake, on nearly nothing.

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  3. Wisconsin is the place that gave us Feingold and Proxmire. Poor Russ lost again trying to get his Senate seat back. Hard to complain that your opponant didn’t fix some long term issue in his first term when you were in the seat from 1993 until losing it in 2011.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Kerrygold is available on Amazon from a variety of third party sellers, it would appear. You have to purchase a fair amount (a case of 20 8-oz packets for $110) shipped refrigerated. I’d say if you’ll have to make illicit butter-smuggling missions, or go for mail order – freeze the excess. We buy the house brand from Costco, and keep it in the freezer until needed. 5 pounds last us better than a month unless massive amounts of baking or fudge-making is involved.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes, butter freezes very well. My parents used to get several pounds at a time and freeze the excess, and I couldn’t tell the difference (although MY assessment may not carry much weight – I buy the store brand where I shop).

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Kerrygold of the crack of butters…and Dubliner is the king of cheeses [with honorable mention to Pecorino].

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Cheese is subject to theft in some places. Parmiggiano Reggiano cheese has to come from the town of Reggio Emilia to get that label. Cheese thieves have stolen over $7 million worth of it since 2015.

      Don’t steal the cheese!

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  6. Oh Virginia better never touch Kerrygold! When my kids were babies they loved to eat pats of it for a snack. I always have a “stick” (that I cut in half from the brick) on the countertop staying soft. We go through a stick every other day and we aren’t even ketogenic! I bring kerrygold with me on vacation along with my Real Salt. Some things you just can’t compromise!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know, right? They come for my Kerrygold, and it’s ON!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I have quite literally never heard of this stuff until reading this article. I don’t know if any of my local grocery stores have it. Costco might.

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        1. Both should have it.

          Liked by 1 person

  7. I think I’ve read this story before…

    http://billstclair.com/DoingFreedom/000623/df.0600.fa.lipidleggin.html

    The only thing that comes close to Kerrygold is the Walden Local Meat company’s butter which is grassfed and local (ish) to their customers (within 250 miles).

    Finlandia is OK. Better than most. But Kerrygold’s the Real Thing(tm)

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  8. Shit like this is why we need to bring back (and encourage) the tarring and feathering of politicians and their cronies.

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    1. *corrupt politicians, that is.

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      1. “corrupt politicians”
        That’s redundant.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. There are a tiny handful of good ones. But besides them, I agree wholeheartedly.

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  9. You need to get a congealed carry permit…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Keep using that kind of language and you’ll end up a victim of a bitter, bigger, better battery….

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  10. Where to find Kerrygold: http://kerrygoldusa.com/find-us/

    Walmart carries it, and you can always order it from them. Me, I just go grocery shopping and take home mass quantities of stuff I love.

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  11. In my house, we have to have both margarine and butter. My wife grew up with margarine. I grew up with margarine, in my parents home, but my grandparents always had real butter. I don’t touch margarine at all. When I cook something that uses butter or margarine, my wife doesn’t know it, but I tell her that I am using margarine, and use real butter. I know it is much healthier for us, and I can tell the taste difference. And it is funny, because my wife has been saying for awhile now that she can’t stand the taste of eggs anymore. She just found out that about 2 years ago, they began using soy protein in the feed of the chickens, that supply most of the eggs to our area. She hates soy, and could tell the taste of that, but not that of butter or margarine, in cooking. I suspect that PETA was involved and that chickens were being fed “animal protein”, a term for leftover slaughter house items. I don’t know it for a fact, though. As far as ketogenic diet and migraines, I am certainly looking into it, as I am in the middle of a 4 day, knock me down migraine. I actually was put on SS Disability due to migraines, they are so bad. And that is not an easy thing to do, so you can imagine how awful it can be. Thanks once again, Nicki. And Kerrygold just started advertising here in West Michigan in the last 6 months or so on television. I will search it out.

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    1. I never noticed the taste of margarine really being different from butter when I was young, but recently, I bought some margarine because I was saving all the money I could on that week’s groceries, and my son complained that whatever I put in the food that week was horrible and I should never get it again. He had no idea that I had gotten margarine and not butter, he just knew he didn’t like what I was cooking with.

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    2. Chickens are carnivores. Toss a grass snake into a chicken pen and watch the birds squabble over who gets it.

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      1. Toss a chicken in a pig pen and see what happens too. Scary. I have seen some broad sows here in MI farm land that weigh up to 1000 lbs. And could kill a man in a heartbeat if they wanted to.

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        1. A lot of people today have NO idea why everyone panicked when Dorothy fell into the pigpen in Wizard of Oz.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. No kidding – I totally (and inadvertently) freaked out a dear friend of my daughters’ who was house-sitting at a mini-farm in the hills, looking after the horses, the emu, a flock of geese and ducks, the dogs, and a pig A medium-small but very grouchy pig. The friend is vegan (and a city girl) and was worrying over whether the pig would eat some burritos that she didn’t want to eat (because meat) … and I said, “Oh, pigs are omnivorous.” She was shocked, And then I related that, now and again, farmers or hands had been killed by pigs – and quoted the old line about “He went to take a leak and the hogs et him.”
          She was so freaked, I don’t think she ever set foot in the pig pen after that. I may have been raised in suburbia, but my grandmother grew up on a working farm…

          Liked by 1 person

        3. About the worst place for a farmer to have a heart attack, is in a pig pen.
          You don’t find much afterwards

          Liked by 1 person

  12. So the ketogenic diet works for migraines??? It would have really helped when I was much younger. Now I have to watch other things as well because of kidney disease. I am now trying Mediterranean eating– more fat, more vegetables, less other carbs. I don’t get my GERD as much. WTF for the nanny state–

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    1. It depends on the type of migraine. Research has shown some improvement. I get ocular migraines, so it works really well for those.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Have you looked into botox for your migraines? (Bonus-reduces wrinkles)

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    1. I heard that, but something about putting the botulinum toxin into my face creeps me the hell out. I do have it well under control with diet (other than stress – when I stress, all bets are off), so it’s not something I considered. Plus, I’m almost positive, the Botox doesn’t help ocular migraines.

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  14. All right, Nicki, I want to know what strange sorcery you aimed at me.

    My local grocery (Kroger) does not carry Kerrygold, yet last week, a single package of the stuff showed up there in with the rest of the butter and margarines. I HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS STUFF BEFORE THEN. No, I didn’t try to buy it, because it would not be in their system (it’s not on their website). But why now???

    Like

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