Today’s WTFuckery

Honestly, I could have spent a billion happy lifetimes not knowing about this, but if I have to find out about it, you will know about it too!

Because I’m a giver that way, and frankly, you need to share my misery.

But first, a little bit of background.

Apparently, there’s some Brit named Gavin McInnes, who the left claims is a “Holocaust-denying Nazi,” whose scheduled lecture at NYU was canceled because screeching leftist banshees tolerant progressives rioted and demanded violence. Now, knowing the tolerant progtards, McInnes probably said something shockingly outrageous like “I disagree with leftist politics,” and for that, he needs to be physically assaulted and prevented from speaking, natch.

Among the most strident voices demanding McInnes be subdued via government force was some psychotic cunt monkey claiming to be a “professor,” who cursed at the NYPD for not kicking McInnes’ ass.

That’s right.

This tolerant, shrieking harpy peaceful progressive lady demanded the police assault a man who was invited to speak to a group of students, because apparently she did not like what he was going to say.

Now, I don’t know McInnes, but apparently he has a history of making inflammatory statements. And once again, the tolerant toddler left – much like they did in Bezerkeley last week when Milo Yiannopoulos was scheduled to speak there – wreaked havoc, set fires, and destroyed property in an effort to silence someone with whom they disagree.

But back to psycho twat.

After her squealing viral tirade, the Internet decided to do a little research into Rebecca Goyette.

And this is where I wish I’d never met the Internet.

Two words: lobster porn.

That’s right. Let that sink in for a moment. The alleged “professor” who screeched at police to attack a man for exercising his right to free speech is a lobster porn “artist.”

Lobster porn.

O dog. What did I just see?

O dog. What did I just see?

I made the grave error of clicking on this link today, which also features a photo of Rebecca sporting a gigantic set of claws. Apparently, this… uh… hobby involves wearing large lobster claws and writhing around on the ground pretending to have sex with men wearing giant cloth penises.

I got about halfway into the article, gagged on my own bile, managed to hold down my breakfast, closed the link, and tried to unsee what I saw.

It was impossible. It burned itself into my eyelids, and no matter how much I rubbed my eyes, I couldn’t get rid of the sight of this grotesque, repellent sea sow, sporting lobster claws and baring her sagging udders for the world to see.

I didn’t want to Google “lobster porn,” because then I would have found “lobster porn.”

I was informed that Goyette also apparently has a website, which I refuse to look up, and refuse to link to or click on. According to her resume, she’s an adjunct professor at Montclair State University in New Jersey. Someone pays her to expose impressionable young minds to her version of “art,” which apparently involves intercourse with pretend penises, while wearing pseudo bondage bands on sagging teats and gigantic lobster claws on her hands.

Please know crustacean coitus – no matter how “artistic” – is just not something I ever want to see. It’s bad enough I was subjected to Crusty McZucchini-Tits over here. Anthropod on human action is not my thing. Not even remotely curious!

But now I’ll never look at seafood the same way again, and you’ve joined me in visual hell!

The left ruins everything!


26 responses

  1. But as I pointed out on my blog – she’s a great example of the free market at work. There she is identifying a niche market that isn’t being met and filling it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, luckily I’m free never to look at that again!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Is she the same Clown Professoress who was wedding her students to the ocean? Or to the rocks, or to the waves, or somesuch …..
    Some wacko mofo’s out there! Be careful !!


    1. Oh, dear dog. I have no idea, but I wouldn’t be surprised. And nauseous.


  3. McInnes is a master troll and fun to watch if you just want to get rid of all that pent-up frustration caused by too much Internet.

    Having said that, I did not know lobster porn was a thing. Then again, I’m not surprised. And I’m not surprised it’s from some screeching Leftist moral arbiter. They always seem the most deviant sexually. I guess I would be too if I had to dig deep for crumbs of joy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I generally assume that if i can imagine it there is a fetish about it

      Liked by 2 people

      1. And there is at least one internet site devoted to it.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Apparently this artist charges $1,000 USA for a photo of her cutting off….a fake….Donald Trump’s Penis.


  5. In fairness, Nicki, that’s really not a bad set of knockers…for a lobster. I can think of another costume that she’d fit into better, but perhaps there’s no market for manatee porn…yet.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guarantee that that exists. Have you never heard of rule 34?

      Liked by 1 person

    2. May have to ask Wendell if he knows. 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  6. The only think I want to know is “what’s the PUFF on that?”

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Oh, crap!!! My eyes!!! My eyes!!!!

    I have a question, and I hope quite sincerely that I can get a reasonably coherent answer: what the bloody fucking hell is WRONG with these psychotic creatures????


    1. Dude, that’s a book that will take years to write.


      1. Thank you. I was afraid of that.


  8. Gavin McInnes is a badass Canadian-Scot that was a frequent guest on Fox News’ “Red Eye”. He’s my fifth favorite Canadian. (All hail Mark Steyn! and the band Rush!)
    He currently rants on and was the founder of Vice Media.

    I need to re-emphasize…..Badass. Even for a Canuck.
    He is more of an example of the “alt-right” than Milo is. He takes Professor Reynold’s (Instapundit) advice to heart, “Punch back twice as hard.”

    Also has good tips for fighting babies….

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Let Gavin be fourth. Neil Peart is a commie, sadly.

      Liked by 3 people

      1. I will take action on that data point Rob. Thanks. 👍

        Liked by 5 people

  9. You… have… GOT… to be… KIDDING ME

    Liked by 2 people

  10. John Ringo posted about this on Facebook yesterday, and was passing along strong warnings not to Google “lobster porn.” If this is too bizarre even for the author who(thanks to an infamous Internet book review) made “OH JOHN RINGO NO” a meme, well, *I* sure don’t want to go there . . .

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yeah, I saw that. Ringo actually gave me the idea for that post. Plus, I found it amusing.

      Liked by 2 people

  11. “Crusty McZucchini-Tits”…I just… I mean… it’s like…

    I can’t. Utter Brilliance.

    This is two-word Chemotherapy for the cancer that is modern leftism. Applause!!!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. *bows* Thank you. Welcome to my world.

      Liked by 3 people

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