Every day, when I come to the office, I lock up my phone. I turn it off first, so the battery doesn’t drain while it’s in the locker, and when I leave work and turn it back on again, there’s invariably some recorded message on there from someone alleging to be from the IRS – with a heavy Indian accent – claiming that I will be arrested unless I pay them back taxes.
Nearly. Every. Day.
Now, I’m the type that will mercilessly fuck with scammers. I’ve pretended to be a naive American wanting to adopt two adorable children from an American woman dying of AIDS in Africa, and forced the scammer to sign a contract obligating him to suck off a rhesus monkey and send me photos of the act. I’ve pretended to be an inbred hick, whose daddyunclebrother touched her in bad places, and who was excited to receive money upon his death. When I’ve gotten one of these calls before, I’ve actually called back, hysterically screaming and crying, telling the dimwit on the other end of the line that the Russian mafia forced me to steal money from the IRS, and that they will kill me and them if I don’t obey.
Fucking with them is a joy, but it’s with a certain amount of schadenfreude that I announce at least some of these pernicious fucks have been arrested in India. Seriously. These motherfuckers ran an entire call center, with 100 or more employees calling unsuspecting American taxpayers and threatening them with legal action and arrest unless they cough up money!
Indian police have arrested 70 people and are questioning hundreds more after uncovering a massive scam to cheat thousands of Americans out of millions of dollars by posing as U.S. tax authorities and demanding unpaid taxes, a police officer said Thursday.
According to police in Mumbai, the yearlong scam involved running fake call centers which sent voice mail messages telling U.S. nationals to call back because they owed back taxes.
It really bothers me that these filthy ass guzzlers actually made millions of dollars from naive Americans!
People, PEOPLE! The IRS will NEVER call you and leave an automated message threatening to arrest you unless you call them back!
They will NEVER demand payment with iTunes or gift cards!
The IRS will NEVER call and demand immediate payment while they’re on the phone with you! There’s always an appeals process. They certainly won’t go out and arrest you at once, like these shit gits threatened.
And they will NEVER ask for any kind of credit card numbers over the phone!
Fucking with them is funny. Falling for their shit is not. Don’t do it.
And by the way, the IRS has a reporting mechanism for those who get those calls. While I suspect the volume of calls will decrease significantly now that these fuck monkeys have been caught, there’s always another douche tool willing to step into the void. So be careful out there.