Why is it that in a world where we have pig fucking jihadists setting bombs in our cities…
Where protests against police shootings turn violent…
Where ISIS launches a mustard gas attack against our troops…
Where Russia’s president Vladimir Putin has proven once again that history repeats itself by essentially revamping Russia’s security apparatus to resurrect the KGB…
And where of the two major party candidates for the most powerful office in the world – one is in bed with the Russians, fellating Putin so hard, that he might actually swallow and digest his microscopic cock, and the other apparently can’t even tell the difference between a classified portion marking and a paragraph marked in alphabetical order (because the only letter in the alphabet is apparently “C”)…
Why is it that with all this shit going on in the world today, the biggest news story on my news feeds is Brangelina’s divorce?
You know what I learned today against my will?
That apparently Brad Pitt was allegedly fucking around on Angelina Jolie with some French actress about whom I know nothing, and who denies this allegation.
Why anyone cares about this, I cannot possibly fathom, but when I get on my news feed (the news app on my iPhone) or on social media, and all I see is the gaunt, fat-lipped face of Jolie and Pitt’s hobo beard, I have to wonder what the hell the obsession is.
Yes, they’re rich. Yes, they’re famous. Yes, they’re probably somewhat weird. But the richer and more famous they are, the more bizarre their public displays and the more problems they have keeping their shit private.
It’s like we’re living vicariously through them! OH LOOK! THEY’RE RICH AND FAMOUS, SO LET’S GAWP AT THEIR FAMILY PROBLEMS TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES.
Please. Make it stop.
And yes, I’m cranky. You would be too if you had to do physical therapy for a bum ankle twice every week.
But on the bright side, my buddy Dennis is helping kick cancer’s ass in his own special way.
Now, y’all are familiar with Dennis’ work, because I proudly carry my pistols in various holsters he has made for me. Well, Dennis is raising money to help fight prostate cancer and giving you the opportunity to win…
Now, motherfucker, this isn’t just some ordinary holster!
This holster is autographed by the NY Times Best-Selling author of the Monster Hunter International series Larry Correia, who was kind enough to autograph this holster for this fundraiser when Dennis met him at Liberty-Con.
There are other autographed holsters as well. I noted one with Dean Cain’s signature on it. Dean Cain is hot. Just sayin’.
So here’s how you register to win one of these beauties!
1) Go to the donation page by clicking here.
2) Make the donation in multiples of $10
3) When you go through checkout, select Team Dragon from the drop-down list so that we get credited with bringing in your donation.
4) When you get the PayPal receipt in your email, simply forward that email to firstname.lastname@example.org so we can verify the amount donated, and that the donation was made to Team Dragon.
5) In the forwarded mail, let me know how to apply the donation (which holster, how to split up multiple entries, etc.)
6) We’ll email you letting you know that your entries have been logged.
We’ll draw the winning entries first week of October, after the fundraiser is done.
Go here and do it. Trust me.
Because FUCK CANCER!