Someone explain this to me

Why is it that in a world where we have pig fucking jihadists setting bombs in our cities…

Where protests against police shootings turn violent…

Where ISIS launches a mustard gas attack against our troops…

Where Russia’s president Vladimir Putin has proven once again that history repeats itself by essentially revamping Russia’s security apparatus to resurrect the KGB

And where of the two major party candidates for the most powerful office in the world – one is in bed with the Russians, fellating Putin so hard, that he might actually swallow and digest his microscopic cock, and the other apparently can’t even tell the difference between a classified portion marking and a paragraph marked in alphabetical order (because the only letter in the alphabet is apparently “C”)…

Why is it that with all this shit going on in the world today, the biggest news story on my news feeds is Brangelina’s divorce?

You know what I learned today against my will?

That apparently Brad Pitt was allegedly fucking around on Angelina Jolie with some French actress about whom I know nothing, and who denies this allegation.

Why anyone cares about this, I cannot possibly fathom, but when I get on my news feed (the news app on my iPhone) or on social media, and all I see is the gaunt, fat-lipped face of Jolie and Pitt’s hobo beard, I have to wonder what the hell the obsession is.

Yes, they’re rich. Yes, they’re famous. Yes, they’re probably somewhat weird. But the richer and more famous they are, the more bizarre their public displays and the more problems they have keeping their shit private.

grumpy-catIt’s like we’re living vicariously through them! OH LOOK! THEY’RE RICH AND FAMOUS, SO LET’S GAWP AT THEIR FAMILY PROBLEMS TO MAKE US FEEL BETTER ABOUT OURSELVES.

Please. Make it stop.

And yes, I’m cranky. You would be too if you had to do physical therapy for a bum ankle twice every week.

But on the bright side, my buddy Dennis is helping kick cancer’s ass in his own special way.

Now, y’all are familiar with Dennis’ work, because I proudly carry my pistols in various holsters he has made for me. Well, Dennis is raising money to help fight prostate cancer and giving you the opportunity to win…

holsterTHIS!

Now, motherfucker, this isn’t just some ordinary holster!

This holster is autographed by the NY Times Best-Selling author of the Monster Hunter International series Larry Correia, who was kind enough to autograph this holster for this fundraiser when Dennis met him at Liberty-Con.

There are other autographed holsters as well. I noted one with Dean Cain’s signature on it. Dean Cain is hot. Just sayin’.

So here’s how you register to win one of these beauties!

1) Go to the donation page by clicking here.
2) Make the donation in multiples of $10
3) When you go through checkout, select Team Dragon from the drop-down list so that we get credited with bringing in your donation.
4) When you get the PayPal receipt in your email, simply forward that email to kilted@dlwtn.com so we can verify the amount donated, and that the donation was made to Team Dragon.
5) In the forwarded mail, let me know how to apply the donation (which holster, how to split up multiple entries, etc.)
6) We’ll email you letting you know that your entries have been logged.

We’ll draw the winning entries first week of October, after the fundraiser is done.

Go here and do it. Trust me.

Because FUCK CANCER!

13 responses

  1. You sold me; I’ll do that tomorrow. I’d do it even without the chance to win a cool holster, since I was successfully treated for prostate cancer over 15 years ago. Early detection and quality treatment saved me. (I don’t call myself a “cancer survivor” because, well, shit, if I weren’t I wouldn’t be typing this right now, would I?)

    I’ll tell you what, Nicki…should I happen to win a Dean Cain-signed holster, I’ll send it to you, free gratis.

    But if I win the Larry holster, fuck you; I’m keeping it.🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. LOL!!!!! If you win the Dean Cain holster, we can auction it off for more money and send it to Dennis for the charity! You’re great! I totally get the whole keeping the MHI holster thing!🙂 Can’t blame you!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Oh, and FUCK CANCER!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Fully agree. We’ll auction it and donate the money. Even if Dean Cain does make your lady bits tingle.🙂

        Fuck cancer.

        Like

        1. Quiver, baby! Quiver! LOL!

          Like

  2. Nicki, dearest. Your priorities are all screwed up. In America, Brangelina breaking up supersedes all, ’cause it’s a tragedy of global proportions.

    See?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. ” I have to wonder what the hell the obsession is.”

    The same obsession that people have with DWTS, American Idol and sports. As long as they have their bread and circuses, they don’t care that the country is hell bound.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I noticed that literally every fucking network was running some kind of stupid talent contest this summer at any given point. WTF???

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As bad as those are, the “Honest-it’s-reality-and-barely-scripted-at-all” shows are worse. Makes you want to coat the producers’ ball sacks or vajs with honey and tie them down on an ant bed.

        Hey, now there’s some reality programming I’d pay good money to watch.🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I think some of them might enjoy it.

          Liked by 1 person

    2. And that’s part of the reason “we” got stuck with ol’ jug ears.
      For.Two>Terms.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. […] to a fault, which is why he is participating in a campaign to kick cancer’s ass. I’ve blogged about it previously, and you know how I feel about this issue. Kilted to Kick Cancer is the shit! Here’s some […]

    Like

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