My news feeds are overflowing with Melania Trump’s tits today. It’s a bit surreal, since I’m still a bit stoned on painkillers, so seeing her nude photos both by herself and with another nekkid chick is kind of making me feel funny – and not like climbing the rope in gym class funny, either. Just weird.
On one hand, a possible future First Lady being spanking material for horny teenage boys and half the military bases is pretty friggin’ inappropriate… and creepy.
Also, I’ll be honest here, the thought of her riding the two-inch hairy baloney pony and his post-coital smirk is making me nauseous enough to reach for the Zofran (the pills they gave me to prevent post-surgical nausea).
There’s a part of me that really wants to see some class in the White House, instead of the gold-accented, tacky, gold-toilet-seat-a-la-Saddam I have of a Trump presidency.
But at the same time, I just don’t care. She did what she did. She had a successful modeling career when she was young. Why should anyone give a damn?
Mostly, though, I don’t give a rat’s flying, rolling fuck because there are to worry about.
Like Trump’s lack of understanding about how NATO actually works.
Like his complete lack of knowledge and understanding about Putin’s actions in Crimea.
Like his idiotic campaign’s softening of the GOP platform on Ukraine.
Like his campaign manager’s seedy ties to former Ukrainian president and Putin crony Viktor Yanukovych.
Trade wars. Lack of understanding about economics and trade policy. The desire to force the military to target innocent family members of terrorists. The desire to deprive Americans of their Second Amendment rights without due process. Those issues concern me.
There are a lot of things to be concerned about with this candidate. Melania’s tits are not on that list, though.
Although the hypocrisy of promising to spend yet more government resources on a commission to examine the “harmful public health impact” of pornography is more than a little striking to me, I’ll admit. But overall, it’s just more big-government shit that makes this candidate even more unappealing.
And no, I’m not posting the photos. Use your Google-fu if you really want to see the tits.