Columnist gets bruised mangina

This article should be entitled “Big Pussy Quivers at Little Gun.” A New York Daily Snooze columnist aptly named Gersh Kuntzman (yes, I’m giggling like a juvenile at his name) recently tried firing an AR-15, because, you know… he wanted to feel like he was doing something after the shootings in Orlando. I would applaud him for trying to learn to defend himself with the most effective tool available on the market today, if it was, in fact, what he was doing, rather than trying to write an article about how horrible and easy to obtain this rifle is.

It feels like a bazooka — and sounds like a cannon.

One day after 49 people were killed in the Orlando shooting, I traveled to Philadelphia to better understand the firepower of military-style assault weapons and, hopefully, explain their appeal to gun lovers.

But mostly, I was just terrified.

[…]

Not in my hands. I’ve shot pistols before, but never something like an AR-15. Squeeze lightly on the trigger and the resulting explosion of firepower is humbling and deafening (even with ear protection).

The recoil bruised my shoulder. The brass shell casings disoriented me as they flew past my face. The smell of sulfur and destruction made me sick. The explosions — loud like a bomb — gave me a temporary case of PTSD. For at least an hour after firing the gun just a few times, I was anxious and irritable.

tedPoor baby. One has to wonder how delicate are his lilac scented labia if he loses bladder control while shooting a varmint rifle. And yes, that’s what it is. To confirm, my characterization, I pinged Ted Nugent, who knows infinitely more about firearms than a newspaper columnist, and who said I was absolutely correct.

One has to wonder, as my friend Jaime notes,  if he seated the rifle in his gaping vagina, as it appears to contain enough sand to provide the stability he needed.

 

A “temporary case of PTSD,” this douche pickle says! Really? Spoken like a spoiled, brandy sipping, clap-infected walking testicle who never bothered to talk to real warriors who came home with real post traumatic stress after seeing and dealing with things this sniveling cock rocket only sees in the movies!

“The recoil bruised my shoulder.” I think you misspelled “vagina” there, Sparky. And this is not meant to offend the numerous vagina-bearers (myself included) who could outshoot and outclass this whining cunt without effort.

sarahBy the way, Kuntzman, my daughter has been shooting guns with much more recoil since she was 10 years old, and she thinks you’re a gaping twat, as does my son, who just arrived at Army Basic Training.

Oh, and the whining gun grabbers at Rolling Stone also have you beat in the testicle department. They acknowledge the semi-automatic rifle has nominal recoil, which, along with its ease of use, contributes to its popularity.

Fact is, you sniveling, pusillanimous pustule, that this rifle is a semi-automatic. It doesn’t “spray” anything. It fires one round every time the shooter pulls the trigger, which is no different than a normal handgun, and the speed with which it fires depends entirely on the skill of the person who holds it.

It’s only cavernous, oozing snatches like you, who want to exaggerate and make it seem more deadly, more dangerous, and more horrifying than it is in a pathetic and transparent effort to promote its ban.

And to that effort, and to you, I say “get bent.”

75 responses

  1. Bwahahahaha. Oh Nicki, that’s gonna leave a mark!

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  2. A “temporary case of PTSD,” this douche pickle says!

    My understanding is that there is no such thing as temporary PTSD. While it may be manageable, it’s a lifetime problem. (And one reason we do not honor our heroes enough.)

    He was so intimidated by an AR? I wonder how he’d react to Little Nag (my Tula Arsenal Mosin Nagant 91-30)?

    Oh, and my 12 year old daughter thinks he’s a sissy.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. He’d probably hate all my .308s too, including PeTeR.

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      1. roy in nipomo

        I feel like a wuss because I think my Mosin Nagant 91/30 (7.62X54R) is a bit… stout (though a 12ga is fine – it must be the recoil pad).

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        1. You shouldn’t, the venerable 7.62 x 54 R is a .30-06/.308 class round, far stouter than the .223/5.56 the AR-15 usually fires. And yes that steel buttplate does make a difference. (I’ve fired a Saiga 12 (AK-47 style 12 gauge shotgun) with buckshot–another steel buttplate and I had to switch shoulders after about three rounds.)

          Incidentally, for anyone who doesn’t know, the 7.62 x 54R has been in military service for 125 years and counting, now; it’s the oldest round that can be said of. (That’s why I called it venerable.)

          There was an open rifle carry parade here a few years back. I went with Mr. PeTeR, expecting to see a huge raft of AR-15s and maybe one or two people carrying other things (I ended up photographed in the Colorado Springs newspaper, facing away from the camera). AR-15s are so ubiquitous now (no, that’s not really a complaint). I was surprised that maybe half or less of the rifles being open carried were AR-15s. Many were some form of traditional wood stock bolt action or another (this was a small town in the mountains after all). I couldn’t begin to name models (there are so many and I don’t know jack shit about that kind of firearm), but they’re the sort of thing that springs to mind when I hear the phrase “hunting rifles” even though more and more you see “black” rifles used for that. So..not a boring sea of AR-15s, even if lots were there.

          Nevertheless I spotted a couple of people carrying Mosins, and they graciously decided not to treat me as another person carrying an underpowered rifle (I believe the 54R is a bit more powerful than the .308/7.62×51 but at least the difference isn’t huge); we were all gratified that someone else there was carrying a military weapon that wasn’t a poodle shooter.

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        2. I understand the 7.62X54R falls right between the .308 and the .30-06. My 03A3 doesn’t feel as bad, but it is an old “Bubba’d” gun and has a recoil pad. I don’t hunt and don’t own an EBR. My usual (infrequent) firearm practice is either with a 12ga or a pistol (.45s or 9s). I got the Mosins (both “hex” receivers) because they were so incredibly inexpensive at the time and I like having a piece of history. OTOH, in a real SHTF, civil unrest, situation (really unlikely locally, in my view), I at least have some things available for friends who may decide to stay with us. A sore shoulder would be the least worry under those circumstances. Most interesting firearms are of military design.

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    2. I was thinking that if it found the recoil from that popgun too heavy, shooting my old Mosin-Nagant would flat out kill it.

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  3. You’re being far kinder than I feel toward these creatures.

    They are the ones who tell us not to lay blame upon all muslims for the actions of one while blaming all gun owners for the actions of one.

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    1. I thought I dismantled his “masculinity” rather well.

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      1. Not to minimize your deconstruction of this twatrocket, Nicki, but dismantling this one’s “masculinity” is akin to disassembling Ikea furniture. Just wait, it’ll manage all on its own.

        I’m no gun fancier, I’ve shot them a handful of times in my life, and here in Canada they’re tough to get, at least handguns. But it amuses me no end how, after every incident, the usual suspects start in about “military-style assault weapons” and “automatic weapons” and “semi-automatic assault rifles.”

        Even a gun doofus like me knows that an AR-15, the favorite bugaboo just now, is nothing more than a rifle with some fancy-pants parts to dress it up. It’s not an assault rifle, it’s not a machine gun.

        Oh but it LOOKS scary, and that’s all that matters. The wailing and sobbing of this Gersh (seriously? Wow, his parents hated him…) thing is just a case in point.

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        1. ” Wow, his parents hated him…”

          One thing is for certain they hated the world enough to inflict him on it.

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        2. In response to Steve…

          Well, anyone can make a mistake. It doesn’t become an error until you refuse to correct it.

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        3. Again in reply to Steve…

          And it turns out I had that quote backwards. At least I didn’t make a mistake though.😉

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      2. Nicki, he had no masculinity to dismantle. 😛

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        1. As a complete aside, it says you’re in “Perth, Western Australia” That’s as far away as you can get from me without leaving a continent. (I’m almost antipodal to Amsterdam and St. Paul Islands west of you). I think it’s even closer to being antipodal to Nicki’s location. The wonders of the internet!

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  4. Nicki, congratulations on your son! His drill instructors need to know who his mother is! “There will be extra pushups for THIS recruit!”

    And the judges award Nicki – 9.8, 9.7, 10.0, 10.0, 10.0, and 10.0. Our last judge awards Nicki 10.1 for “sniveling, pusillanimous pustule” – definitely extra creativity for that.

    Just a note to Kuntzman (I dare not assign a gender …) if it sounded like a cannon then you are doing it wrong. The muzzle (the end of the barrel where the bullets come out) is not supposed to be next to your ear when you fire the weapon.

    An AR could bruise your shoulder if someone hit you with it. If you held the butt stock against your shoulder, firing an AR could not do that – not enough energy. If you did not hold the butt stock against your shoulder, either you received bad advice or you received good advice and did not take it.

    There is no such thing as temporary PTSD. Most people who experience trauma are affected by it. In most cases, the individual finds a way to deal with it and the effect passes – “finds a way” is not the same as forgetting, one never forgets. People who suffer from PTSD have a disorder (that is the “D” part of the acronym) where the individual cannot find a way to deal with the trauma and the effects do not disappear. After shooting a rifle if Kuntzman had insomnia, flashbacks, and memories of fear, I think that is really weird. Shredded paper targets do not look like people, do not bleed, and feel no pain. Grow a pair.

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    1. LMAO!!! I really hope his Drills don’t know who I am. That child will face pain like no other! I told him to keep his ginger head down. We shall see if he takes my advice.

      As I said in the piece… if it bruised his shoulder, he may have spelled “vagina” wrong. LOL!

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  5. Yeah, the whole “temporary PTSD” thing ticked a nerve last night. I’ve got PTSD I earned the old fashioned way – getting randomly shelled by asshats outside the wire for five years. If he got PTSD firing once, he probably can’t leave his apartment for fear of dog shit on the street.

    Fuck him. With a rusty chainsaw dipped in wasabi. Sideways.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I really, really liked the last paragraph there. I’m going to use it and you can’t stop me!

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      1. Feel free. I’ve got worse things I want to do to people that they’ll survive and still be reminded of my ire every day.

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  6. Scawy Bwack Wifles….

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    1. Bacon!!!

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  7. Nicky having beaten this dumbfuck into a bleeding red pulp, I now have to figure out how to piss on the remains, adequately. I’ll have to go think about this one some.

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  8. Love your invective ‘re: the useless douches of Kuntzmann’s ilk. But what are we gonna do if the Hairy Hemorrhoid loses to the Wicked Witch of Chappaqua in November. I fear that if she gets elected our 2A rights are finished. She just might win, despite being under FBI investigation, Dr, I mean “security inquiry”😉

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    1. Mr. Scott;
      My ideas are that if the Hemeroid with Hair gets beat out by the Wicked Bwitch of Hitlery of Schrillery fame, is to simply ignore the entire mass of incompetient and criminal fools. There is this part of the Constitution having something to do with NULLIFICATION that comes to mind. Whaddah they gonna do, take away my birthday’s? How are they gonna throw 100 million of us into the slammah, how many states do they propose using for this? Time for merkans to start calling em on their sorry crapola and holding em accountable…. Or NO TAX money for U boffo….

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      1. That latter part would be a lot easier to accomplish, save for withholding.

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  9. Well said, Nicki. I think we all need to make sure that GERSH KUNTZMAN knows he’s definitively outMANNED by a lot of WOMEN who don’t agree with his ‘tude.

    I really do think his mother should have said “NO” just that one time.

    GERSH KUNTZMAN, the incredible giant cat doot, is exactly the kind of non-guy who sends me right to the internet to look up shooting ranges. 🙂

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    1. Looks like I’ll be blowing some ammo tonight, Colorado Springs area.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. And he’s a neckbeard. One of those ageing hipsters. He’s pretty pathetic.

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    3. Sara, instead of saying no that one time, she should have swallowed…….

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  10. I wouldn’t even call him a pussy. Mine is tougher than this titty baby.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. How odd… When my friend’s 9-year-old daughter shot his AR a few weeks ago, her response was: “This is fun! It doesn’t kick at all! Can I shoot it some more, Daddy? Please?!?!?”

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  12. As I suggested elsewhere: if he thinks shooting a .223 is terrifying, he should try a Brown Bess. Bonus: indisputably the sort of “arms” the Founders had in mind!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. and load it hot with Buck and Ball.

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  13. Baron von Cut-n-Paste

    How do you get a bruised shoulder from AR-15 recoil? I’m pretty much an ambulatory tub of lard and my shoulder was just fine after putting 100+ rounds down range with one.

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    1. Only way I can think of getting a bruise from an ar 15 would be if someone hit you with it.

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      1. Maybe if it held the popgun 2-3 inches away from it’s shoulder.

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  14. Don’t show him gameplay of the new DOOM, he’d just wet himself and passout from the ripping and tearing of demons.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Wait, did someone swap one of those .458 Win. mag. AR10 variants on him? (~_^)
    Afraid of a mouse gun. He is either a massive liar, or the worlds biggest wuss.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mayhap I should embrace the power of And.

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      1. Indeed you should.

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        1. Tis a great power.

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  16. Whoah. I saw this on Facebook, too, and now again the “It feels like a bazooka — and sounds like a cannon” got me. I could not finish the article. It reads like an Onion piece. But we know why it’s written. Yet another article demonising weapons, in this case, the AR-15. I grew up in South Africa and the first gun I ever shot was my dad’s double-barrelled shotgun. I don’t remember how old I was, but I was a young kid. It kicked the shit out of my shoulder and my eyes were as big as saucers afterwards, or so I’m told. But damn, that was an awesome first experience. My shoulder had those bruises you get and I was proud of it and thought I did pretty well, considering my size. By the time I entered the army I was used to a variety of firearms. Anyway, in my humble opinion the article is deceitful, intended to prove an empty point. I cannot fathom how a AR-15 can create such trauma for the guy. However, I suppose experiences are subjective, so there’s that.

    Oh, and he wrote a follow-up piece because people gave him shit for the article. http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/gun-lovers-opinion-assault-rifles-article-1.2674555

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    1. Dude needs a tampon for his bleeding vagina.

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      1. I also learned the other day that my masculinity is toxic and is responsible for violence in your country and pretty much the world over. Yeah, I know. I blew my top too, and I don’t usually get involved in these debates. Well, honestly, it shouldn’t even be debate worthy, but there you go.

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    2. So he doubles down on the fact that he’s a walking mangina. OK.

      Liked by 1 person

    3. If any further proof is needed of the falsity of the stereotype of gay males being “effeminate” or wussy compared to heteros, I give you the Pink Pistols, versus this insult to the martial virtues.

      [I’m going to have to pause here to explain my subsequent choice of words; I certainly don’t use “manliness” (and derivatives) to imply that women do not have these virtues. Many (such as our hostess) do have them though they often will manifest differently. I tried but failed to come up with a more neutral single word meaning a human who is willing to stand up and *defend* himself and his own rather than behave like a meek rabbit. So I’ll use “manliness” and “man” and make the pointed claim that it applies to both genders (as in fact “man” often did until recently; though I don’t think “manly” did).

      OK with that squared away.]

      In fact this “man” takes pride in his unmanliness, to the point where he’s doubled down on it. Nicky administered a full (and figurative) pulverization-level gut stomp earlier today, leaving me with nothing left to do but (figuratively) piss all over the big red goo splat that was once a skin filled with something falsely claiming to be a worthwhile member of the human species. Since that goo splat managed to make the effort to “courageously” extol the virtues of moral cowardice, I’ll unload the results of drinking about a liter of diet mountain dew on him as well as what I did earlier.

      Liked by 2 people

    4. Ghost Rider 6

      Yeah, I was gonna mention The Kuntz Man took exception to a lot of folks calling him out on his original piece of Dumbfuckery by writing another piece of Dumbfuckery (Dumbfuckery Squared). It’s *almost* worth reading, if you can manage to keep reading that far, to get to the point he conjures up an “atomic AR-15” to make the point that…fuck, I don’t know what point he was trying to make.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I didn’t get that far. I skimmed, saw that he was multiplying the fuckassery, and decided it wasn’t worth my while.

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      2. To be somewhat fair his major complaint seemed to be with the people who merely insulted him rather than offering substantive arguments…as well as those who tried to tell him an AR-15 isn’t punishing to shoot. His premise, that it’s a relative term.

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Fair warning: I posted this to the Pink Pistols Facebook page. You might have an influx of commenters.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I’m totes good with that!

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    2. I’m good with that!

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    3. The more the merrier! And my offer to anyone in the Colorado area (free intro to firearms) stands.

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  18. I had a boil on my ass one time that was more manly than this turd.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Better for a man to keep his mouth shut and have people think he is a fool than to open it and confirm all suspicion.

    -Mark Twain, Will Rogers, PeeWee Herman or some other such philosopher.

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  20. This man-girl probably gets a bruised shoulder watching a teenager play Grand Theft Auto.

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  21. Somebody should have handed him a Saiga or AA-12 to play with. Educate him on what a real assault weapon is.

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  22. I have serious doubts this report of a obama-esk fart sniffer ever actually fired this weapon. Even in large American cities there are not that may places to shoot. I’d like to hear from the range where this supposedly took place. I doubt he actually fired a weapon let alone went to a range.

    I tried to write a polite letter to the editor, really. But the send feedback to the editor was disabled on the page. Next Knutz will be telling us he is a black, female, disabled half jew half indian. I just think the guy made up the entire story. It needs to be verified by the guys at the range where he shot his wad. Until then I don’t believe him.

    You should introduce him to your MARINE daughter. he he he…

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    1. Well, there’s a photo of my now-Marine daughter shooting a rifle that would make KUNTZman shit himself. She was 13 at the time. And she still thinks he’s a pussy.

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    2. That Frank Stelmach he interviewed runs “Frank’s Double Tap Range.” It’s in Philly.

      Funny though; if you watch the video, in almost five minutes, they never show pussy-boy _firing_ the weapon. I don’t believe he did either. In fact, he probably better not have fired because some of the footage of that effeminate, neutered excuse for a human shouldering the rifle on the line was recorded by someone _forward_ of the firing line.

      Heh. His Wikipedia entry includes “Kuntzman is often said to be notable only for his coverage of the July 4 hot dog-eating contest at Coney Island,[2] which is sponsored by Nathan’s.” [grin]

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      1. Hot dog eating? Wow, we could have fun with alleged double meanings there.

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        1. I simply assumed that’s where his alleged male genitalia went.

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        2. “in Russia, we don’t eat this part of dog.”

          –Yakov Smirnov.

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        1. Yeah, looks like Cuntm/a/n/ Couriced Stelmach in the video. When I watched, I got the impression that he was advocating mental health screening. But when I watched again to see exactly what was said, he never said that. He just gave more examples of how European _stores_ try to see if a customer is nuts. But even that’s hard to say: When I watch the video, it’s jerky as hell; that could be because the server is overloaded, or it could be serious editing and cropping.

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  23. Being a 64 yr old man who still shoots his 45/70 regularly, i keep wondering when i’m going to find one of these hi-powered ar 15s.
    all i’ve found kick like mouse guns.

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    1. kick like mouse guns.

      They are mouse guns. The .223 Remington ([Anthony Daniels]”Very similar to your 5.56 NATO in most respects”[/Anthony Daniels]) is a varmint cartridge. I.e. for pest control.

      Mouse gun.
      😉

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      1. Probably large mice…to be fair.

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  24. Well done Nicki – “Down range, on target, in the 10 ring” ! Semper Fi to your Marine daughter –

    From an old Marine vet from another age – ( we used M1’s, 45’s etc.)
    Walt

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    1. Thanks, Walt! Semper Fi! Thank you for your service to our country, and for taking the time to come over here and comment!

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  25. Mr KUNTZman is now complaining about God Bless America being sung at ball games.

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  26. And now, it appears someone gifted him with a holster…for a tampon applicator.

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