Self Loathing

mateenI hate devoting any bandwidth to the violent monster who murdered 49 people in Orlando over the weekend, but I feel like something needs to be said about this fetid piece of shit as more and more details emerge about his life.

I wrote before about the crotch bomber and wondered how much hatred you had to harbor if you were really willing to set your own junk on fire as a weapon against your perceived enemy.

This Nigerian assflake was actually fanatical enough to concede to blowing up his own nuts in an effort to kill a few Americans on a plane!  He either values his manhood very little (quite obvious by the fact that the cowardly sow humper committed himself to killing innocent civilians, including children), or he’d overslept on his way to the airport and his suppliers all ran out of suicide belts leaving him with the choice of exploding panties, or a dynamite dildo.  Maybe he thinks his junk will be restored in heaven just in time to hump his 72 virgins.  I don’t know.  All I know is that if I were a man, there is nothing in this world I’d hate strongly enough to blow up my own crotch!

Now I wonder how much hatred did Omar Mateen have for himself to have committed a cowardly act of mass murder.

Let’s examine some bits of info that have come out.

1) Mateen was a violent wife abuser. According to his ex-wife, he was an unstable, violent man who would beat her up for no reason. “He beat me,” she told the press. “He would just come home and start beating me up because the laundry wasn’t finished or something like that.”

2) He was investigated for having terrorist ties by the FBI in 2013 and 2014, but they couldn’t find definitive ties to Islamic extremism or terrorism, so the investigation was closed.

3) One co-worker described him as a violent bigot.

4) And now, some news outlets are reporting that Mateen was, in fact, gay himself, and that he’d been a regular at Pulse, the club in which he committed his bloody mass murder, was trying to pick up men at the club, and even used a gay dating app to get dates.

Everything points to self loathing, as I look at the information gathered on him.

He hated the fact that he was gay, so he lashed out at gays. His own father said he got irate in Miami recently when he saw two guys being affectionate with one another.

He lashed out at his own wife – again probably out of self loathing, whether it was because he couldn’t be happy with a woman, or he wasn’t sexually attracted to her – and wanted to punish the object of his rage, since he wouldn’t punish himself.

He would frequent the gay club, drink by himself, and get belligerent with other club-goers once he got good and sloshed. If that doesn’t scream, “I’M GAY AND I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING GAY,” I don’t know what does!

How much bitterness and loathing do you really have to harbor to murder nearly 50 innocent people in cold blood? Perhaps in them, he saw something he could never have himself – a pride in who they were. That’s a hard thing to overcome – it’s a burning envy. All these people celebrating who they were, their courage, their ability to accept themselves and one another, while he sat alone in the dark and loathed the fact that he could not.

Now, I’m not saying all this to somehow downplay the Islamic terrorism angle. That aspect is still under investigation, and when I know more, I’ll certainly write about it. But as someone who is interested in motives and mindsets, I thought I’d bring another analysis to the table.

36 responses

  1. His father is a known supporter of the Taliban in Afghanistan. If he as gay (pretty big if based on unsubstantiated hearsay) it doesn’t take much guesswork to figure out why he may have hated himself so much. And why he’d dedicate this act to ISIS. In martyrdom, your sins are forgiven.

    Either way, may he be buried in an unmarked grave, and his name erased from history. And yes, I refuse to say this shitbag’s name.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting thoughts. I know a guy who might be gay, but is gay-hating and pretty obvious/vehement about it, but he doesn’t go on a shooting spree. So I wonder if we are seeing a combination of two things–a miserable homophobe, combined with a radical Islamic ideology (which pushed him over the edge)?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. How about burying him in the cesspool of a pig farm?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My name is Vic, and I endorse this message.


    2. That might make us feel better, but ANY martyr to Jihad goes straight to paradise (and that is ONLY true of people killed while engaging in Jihad), regardless of anything he might have done beforehand. (Ordinary faithful apparently go to a sort of Islamic purgatory first, or at the very least have to wait until judgment day.) The pigfat covered bullets, etc., just don’t make a difference to these people. So one might as well use a regular bullet to splash their brains all over the backstop, preferably before they do any damage.


      1. They’re fairly inconsistent in their beliefs. There was that huge drama some years back about the Ghurkas taking the head of an Islamist because they couldn’t bring back the whole body for confirmed kill ID-ing. Part of the crying and wailing was because, apparently, because his body was in separate pieces, the Islamist would never go to heaven. Similarly, being killed by a woman is supposedly a guarantee that they’d go to hell. And so on.

        Personally, I think they just take their cues from their ‘prophet’ and make shit up on the fly as convenient, and ignore the previously made statements when convenient for them to do so.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Surprising that anyone would take the blind lead of the killer being gay on such spotty reports seriously. This is b/s fed to the masses by a government intent on deflecting perception of danger. If the guy is gay….that explains everything? Bull shit.

    The govt gets a twofer out of blaming this on his (reputed) gayness. First, Islamic terrorism takes a back seat to the awful gay community, then, the guy was part of a terrible minority…gay people. Second, attention turns away from real terrorism perpetrated on home soil.

    It’s deflection, pure and simple. The amateur magician in the Oval Office turns attention away from one hand while the other hides the coin. They call it misdirection, and Obama, his people know it works because it always does via a compliant media.

    The murderer was not gay, he was casing the joint when he visited earlier. He was intent on hitting a very soft target. To suggest otherwise does disservice to a ton of gay people who have not come out.

    Never believe the govt when leaks like that come out. These leaks are just that…leaks.

    The guy was a jihadist murderer. Any other explanation is just an excuse liberals hope the public will buy…as evil as the event itself.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. “Surprising that anyone would take the blind lead of the killer being gay on such spotty reports seriously.”
      Agreed. I’m not buying the hearsay. I want confirmation.

      “Islamic terrorism takes a back seat to the awful gay community, then, the guy was part of a terrible minority…gay people. Second, attention turns away from real terrorism perpetrated on home soil.”
      Nail. On. Head.

      “The murderer was not gay, he was casing the joint when he visited earlier.”
      I said the exact same thing on the Pink Pistols FB group.


    2. Okay so if we can ignore the “he was gay” angle then there’s no self loathing involved.

      Which is fine, the rest of us can more than make up for it in other-loathing this putrid shitbag.


    3. Jesus fucking christ! It was just an exploration of a topic I find interesting! It’s not deflection. I said the terrorist connections are being investigated right now and as soon as I know anything I’ll report on it. Sheesh! Come on!


      1. Don’t get us wrong, Nicki. We love you. It’s just that some of us aren’t buying the “official” line.


        1. It’s not an official line. It’s just a rumor. I believe I said as much. If true, it could explain quite a bit. This doesn’t negate the terrorist aspect of it, but ESPECIALLY if he was an Islamist, he would be particularly self loathing.


        2. Sorry, I said some press reports. Still, I like examining motives, and this one seemed interesting.


    4. I had more or less the same thoughts when I read that he was supposedly gay – it’s the appropriate action for ‘faithful waging war on Dar al Harb’ after all – the 9-11 hijackers posed as very, very Westernized people, drinking liquor, etc. I treat his supposedly card-carrying NRA membership as him picking up ‘useful IDs’ – and him having the brains to be quiet around the NRA members and gun club.

      If he was, in fact, homosexual, then this doesn’t stop him from being a jihadist doing as his religious beliefs command. Like the 9-11 hijackers, he’s ‘forgiven’ for transgressions against the rules of Islamic faith if he succeeds in striking a blow against the people of Dar al Harb.

      (I’m kinda getting my news from my housemate, who tells me about this stuff. I’ve been too busy to pay attention to the news much.)

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’s sure a psychiatrist could explain just about everything, if he knew all the details. Of course, that doesn’t change the fact society would have been better served if the shooter had broken his neck after falling off a bicycle, when he was a toddler.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I found an article on Reuters regarding ‘lone wolves’ vs. ‘wolf dens’, lone wolves being less effective at terrorist acts, according to the author, who described this shooter (may he rot in his own sewer) as psychotic and violent, without referring to the gay aspect of it. That was followed shortly by the news release that in France, an ISIS supporter had held a French policeman and his family hostage, then killed the man and his police officer wife while invoking islam.

    The ‘gay’ aspect of the Orlando shooting does not impress me. The more reasonable angle, that he was psychotic or at least borderline psycho (hence, a violent temper and beating his wife over nothing) makes more sense. The fact that ISIS/Daesh latched onto this crime as soon as the story broke says more about why he was really there – to take as many individuals with him as possible, and I do think he was engaged in a jihad or at least using islam as an excuse.

    Whether or not he actually was gay, I do not care, but the reason for his committing this heinous act will be analyzed to death and no one will have the real reason, or be willing to say it – he wanted to ‘make a statement’ (whatever that is), he was an attention whore, and he wanted to take out as many people as possible, so he looked for and was familiar with a popular night spot that was crowded just prior to the annual pride fests – a truly soft target and easy prey.

    He didn’t want anyone who would fight back. He wanted sitting ducks and he found them. Unfortunately, there was that gunfight with the police, and now we’ll never know the real reasons behind this shooting, so it’s all speculation, including what I wrote.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’m not yet convinced he was gay. If he was a white shooter, there would be Facebook pages showing his hatred for minorities and gays splattered all over the news. But since our president cannot use the two words “Islamic Terrorism” in a sentence together, this seems a pathetic attempt from the left to distract from the real cause, since gun control is being shot down successfully again (as usual) so now they can claim ‘sexual conflicts’.

    As yet, no profile page from the gay dating app…and over 24 hours later, scattered reports that he frequented the club, or was he scouting the location? There is still little information. His wife has said she knew about his plans, but couldnt convince him not to, and yet, did nothing to alert authorities. Something still doesn’t smell right.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. “…scattered reports that he frequented the club…”
      That’s called “casing.” He was casing the joint, learning all the entrances, exits, restroom locations, etc.

      Liked by 2 people

  8. FTR Nikki, it is an interesting angle. But I believe it to be a whitewash. I may be wrong too. I went through almost 30 years of conflict before coming out, and never once considered shooting or killing a club full of gays. I just avoided them. As a matter of fact, I still do because I can’t stand most of them because they are liberal shitheads🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  9. 1) If he truly was gay and a drunk, he may have perceived martyrdom as his only way into heaven.

    2) I still think the likelier scenario is that he frequented the club and used the app to do reconnaissance on the place. If the other report I saw is true about him contemplating attacking Disney, I would say he was just looking for a highly public but easily accessible and undefended target.

    3) The biggest problem is this administration’s refusal to adequately investigate potential terrorists over PC bullshit about ‘targeting’ and hurting their feelings.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve said this very same thing many times.


      1. All of those are possibilities. The terrorist angle is definitely being investigated.

        However, IF he was gay, I can only imagine how ashamed and horrified he was of himself.

        That said, I read another report that talked about how he changed after 9-11 and became this anti-American freak when most others experienced a resurgence of love for this country.


    2. Reports I saw indicated he had been going to Pulse for *years*. Thats a lot of recon. And perhaps my technique is off, but were I doing recon on a place, Id try not to get drunk and belligerent on a regular basis. (Well, there are some places where that would help you fit in, but from what Ive heard, Pulse isnt one of them.)


  10. Sister, you are spot on.

    They are Pashtun, but I got two words for ya…..

    Bacha Bazi


      1. I know, right? The sad part is that some soldiers were prosecuted when they stomped a mud hole in an Afghan Commander when they found him buggering a little boy. They were “involuntarily separated” then later reinstated on appeal (I believe, could be wrong).

        This world seems so upside down sometimes………


        1. Should have been given a medal.

          OK, knowing how politically sensitive it is working with an ally that’s not simon pure (another example: Stalinist Russia, WWII) maybe they needed to be brought back stateside, THEN given the medal.


        2. The only thing those Soldiers should have been punished for was that the cretin they waffle stomped lived through it.

          Liked by 1 person

  11. Definitely a possibility, though I am not convinced he was actually gay. Pretty much all of those things just as easily point to him being simply an Islamic fundamentalist, especially if he had natural violent tendencies to begin with. Such people would see women and other non Muslims as lesser people, and therefore such actions are justifiable. As to the gay related stuff, that could simply be trying to select the best target. Seeing to men showing affection in public to a person that is naturally repulsed by such a sight, increased ever more so by believing it is completely morally reprehensible because of his deep Islamic beliefs, and knowing that in general the society is not only tolerable of it but celebrates it, would be more than enough reason to target them.

    My personal belief is the media is playing up the possibility of him being gay to deflect blame from radicle Islam. Him being gay (whether it’s true or not) allows the media to blame on US homophobia. They can say that it was because of the vast gay hatred from Conservatives, which makes it seem to be unacceptable to be gay, which caused him to become self loathing. Then they can go on a crusade to try to ban things they deem as homophobic.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Considering how, especially as soon as the son of a bitch’s religious affiliation came out, the trend of whitewashing the event went from ‘it was a Christian fundamentalist terrorist’ to ‘he was just a homophobic bigot, Islam had nothing to do with it, it could happen anywhere but it was worse in Florida because American guns’, I’d say you’re pretty much spot on.

      Gays rank far less in the lefty SJ social ranking of victimization than Muslims. There are, after all, far fewer homosexuals than there are Muslims.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. It’s also obvious that they’ve been getting what they want. It’s hard, even for a leftist shitforbrains doublethinker, to forget the recent celebration over same sex marriage being legalized nationwide in one fell swoop by SCOTUS.

        But if they can take this guy off the “Muslim” hook and place him on the “homophobe” hook, it’s a win-win for the leftists. If he had been seen doing something heroic–i.e., heroic in the minds of everyone normal–they’d be pushing the line that this was a good wonderful gay muslim and never invent/bring [pick any that apply] up the homophobe angle at all.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. No reason it cant be both self-loathing and islamic influence. Certainly the self-loathing wasnt helped by the lack of acceptance of homosexuality within the Muslim community. (I think something like 53% of British Muslims believe homosexuality should be punished by death. Im not aware of poll results for American Muslims, but still — thats people in Britain, not some third world hell hole.) And while most people know about the 72 virgins bit, it is also a jihadist belief that a martyr gets all of his sins forgiven (and can even intercede on behalf of 70 relatives) thus providing a ready escape from his self-loathing: In an instant, he erases his past sinful behavior and even manages to become an asset to his family.


    1. It’s definitely possible. I guess I’m wondering if the self-loathing would exacerbate the viciousness and the anger.


      1. I think the self-loathing is the cause of the viciousness and the anger. Community beliefs deepened the self-loathing and discouraged support/help to deal with it. Radical beliefs provided an outlet for the viciousness and anger and an apparent solution to the self-loathing.


  13. So one other thought: Homosexuality is highly frowned upon within the Muslim community. Alcohol is haram.

    So, if a Muslim wanted to go get drunk and not be seen by his community, a gay bar would do nicely. Perhaps the self-loathing was driven by alcoholism, not homosexuality. It would explain why he mostly sat alone according to reports and would get drunk and belligerent.

    If the rumored gay dating app profiles get published, that might tip the scales, but until then I think this theory might have some legs.


  14. So? When are the mormons going to go shoot up a club?


%d bloggers like this: