Will they need a separate bathroom?

I must be sheltered or something, because I’ve never heard of this. Rob says he’s seen it before – a weird form of fetish where grown men want to live their lives as dogs. Leather clad dogs. This is apparently a thing. A British TV channel is doing a documentary on these freaks.

The programme also features the sad story of Tom, 32, a theatre technician from Tring, Hertforshire, who split up with his fiancee Rachel because of his yearning to dress up as a Dalmatian.

He says: ‘You disappear and start chasing puppy toys. You go so deep into the head space, you crave it and want it. It’s just magic.’

Woof woof - Left to right: The reigning Mr Puppy UK Spot (otherwise known as Tom) with his playmates Hexy and Tibo. At least their owners don't need to clean up after them.

Woof woof – Left to right: The reigning Mr Puppy UK Spot (otherwise known as Tom) with his playmates Hexy and Tibo. At least their owners don’t need to clean up after them.

It’s not about sex, they claim, but a number of them are dressed like BDSM fiends. Leather, chains, masks…

And this… uh… “hobby,” is expensive. This douche Tom – pictured as a dalmatian to the left – not only lost his girlfriend over this (‘I didn’t understand it. I didn’t want to understand it,’ says Rachel, who remains friends with Tom.), but he also spends loads of money on his doggie alter ego.

Look, I’m not one to judge anyone’s fetishes. Whatever you do, more power to you, as long as you don’t infringe on the rights of others while you do it.

I just wonder if these freaks are going to demand their own bathrooms soon. Or hydrants. Or whether they’re going to need someone to pick up their… uh… leavings when they go out.

I have to wonder if this is a weird attention ploy, or some kind of odd mental disorder. I’m not really sure what to think about it. I suppose it’s kind of harmless, unless you count the loved ones who have to put up with this, like Rachel here.

Personally, I’m not into interspecies erotica, so I prefer my mates in human form, thanks.

29 responses

  1. Ghost Rider 6

    I can’t wait to see what will happen when, inevitably, some dude “identifies as” a German Shepherd and applies for a position as a K9 officer with a major metropolitan PD…although I’m fairly sure there will be DOJ involvement.

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    1. OMG!!!!! I can’t even imagine! The douchebag will likely claim discrimination.

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  2. So, would the “people” that do this weird habit, be identified as pillow sniffers or leg humpers? WTFO.

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  3. I’m confused here.

    You want a human spouse, but you married Rob.

    Was this just a mistake based on bad vision?

    -Jim+

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rob may throttle you next time we see you. :p

      Liked by 2 people

      1. But first, let me get some popcorn for the show.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. If it IS a sexual fetish in fact, then perhaps there’s another way to screw the pooch.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Holy bad puns, Batman!😉

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      1. Oh, you don’t know me very well do you? Bad puns are my specialty.

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  5. Nicki…you are only scratching the surface. Back slowly out of the room. Do not make eye contact. Close the door quietly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m skeeered!

      Liked by 2 people

  6. “Escapism.” I think not. Cosplay, furries, SCA… dressing up and pretending to be a medieval warrior or tavern wench for the weekend is escapism. _Living_ it 24/7 to the point that you drive off your girlfriend — sleeping in a doggy crate — and are “owned” by a burley leatherboy is Reality Dysmorphic Disorder (not in the DSM, so far as I know, but it oughta be).

    Every year, the world seems determined to make me feel more and more _normal_.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. RetMSgt in Pa.

    No need for Target or other retail establishments to come up with new toilet facilities for such people. Just point them to the nearest fire hydrant outside the store. Oh, don’t forget the pooper scooper laws.

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    1. Would they have to have a human companion? You know, to pick up after them when they poo.

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      1. Leash laws should most definitely apply. “Spot” certainly should not be out unattended.

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      2. Ghost Rider 6

        If so, and if I could choose my human companion, I’d seriously consider declaring myself a Beagle like this one.🙂

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  8. Rishathra, anyone?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. ” “sexual practice outside one’s own species but within the intelligent hominoids.”

    I’m a-thinkin’ “Spot” doesn’t qualify on either count.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Now THAT is a damn fine point.

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  10. Is this why S&M idjits want a bit in their teeth? They have a ‘horsey’ fetish?

    There is a part of Buddhism that says if you’re a screw-up as a human, you come back as a ‘lower’ animal, although some people seem to be lower animals without the benefit of reincarnation. Considering how badly a lot of companion animals are treated, especially dogs and cats, I don’t think I’d want to be one.

    No, I’d say these guys have a desperate need for attention, a peculiar need to be dominated by someone, and probably didn’t get their — OH, I GIVE UP!

    They are whack jobs. They need a shrink. That’s it in a nutshell. And they’d better stay off my lawn.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Stay off my lawn?

      Hell, my nearest neighbor is a quarter of a mile away.

      Her dog comes all the way over here to shit in front of my front door.

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  11. I wanted to say some witty comment about bestiality, but I didn’t want to be accused of barking up the wrong tree. And anyway, I was dog tired after a day of chasing my tail at work. Oh, this could devolve into such a fun thing, maybe Mike Webb would look into it to make sure there was nothing pornographic here. Sorry, I didn’t have enough coffee today.

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    1. Maybe you just need some hair of the dog.

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  12. Remember to spay or neuter your fuck-insane human pet.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Nicki, apology for this off topic, here’s a good article about millenials, one of the best comments is a gif of trigglypuff in front of a yamaha drum set.

    http://allnewspipeline.com/The_Height_Of_Absurdity.php

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    1. Thanks for the info, Greg. The Trigglypuff drum gifs are the best! Did you see the one where she’s holding chicken drumsticks and beating on a bucket of KFC??

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      1. LMAO, no, I haven’t seen that one, but I’m going to look for it now.

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        1. Oh, and sorry – Grog. Not enough coffee today.

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