Have you seen the story about Jordan Brown? He’s the gay pastor who decided it would be trendy to be a victim, so he altered a cake he ordered at a Whole Foods in Austin with a gay slur and then publicly claimed to be offended.
— Jordan D Brown (@PasJordanBrown) April 18, 2016
It is interesting to note that smart readers immediately noted several things:
- The frosting on the letters at the top of the cake that said “LOVE WINS” appeared to have been placed on top of the existing frosting that matched the decorative color surrounding the cake. It appears to have been done in order to match the frosting on the word “FAG” below. A closer look revealed the darker blue underneath.
- The writing didn’t match. No matter how much Brown tried to do the same block letters, the additional text was thinner and the spacing was off.
- Brown claimed he didn’t see the offensive inscription until he stopped at a stoplight on his way home. As one astute reader pointed out, who doesn’t look at the cake at the store to ensure the inscription was what they wanted? And there was a clear, plastic window at the top of the box, where he could have easily viewed the offending inscription… HAD it actually been there to begin with.
- And finally, pick your victim wisely. This was a Whole Foods. In Austin. With an apparently gay or transgender employee! Good lord!
— Liz O’GingerMcIrish (@TheGingerarchy) April 19, 2016
Whole Foods has provided video footage of Brown taking the “offending” cake home that clearly shows he was lying, and the company plans to take legal action against Brown for making fraudulent accusations..
Brown claims he did not notice the writing on the cake until he was in his car, despite the top of the box being clear. Brown also insisted that he could not have tampered with the cake because a sticker was still attached to the box, sealing it. However, Whole Foods says security footage from the store where Brown purchased the cake shows the sticker was on a different place on the box.
Sure he didn’t notice it. Not like there wasn’t a clear window that allowed him to see inside the box, and specifically to the center of the cake, where the word “FAG” was written in capital letters. Dick.
The one rule I try to follow steadfastly in my relationships, and the one rule I constantly see in all my interactions with others is “don’t be a dick.”
Whether it’s “do unto others…” or “harm none…” or other versions of the Golden Rule, the bottom line is always: don’t be a dick.
If you slander another – whether a company or an individual – by claiming they wronged you for profit, you’re a dick.
If you try to play victim by creating a public hoax in order to malign others and bring attention to your cause – no matter how noble – you’re a dick.
If you falsely accuse innocent people to show just how horrible and abusive the world is to you and your ilk, because you can’t seem to find real instances of discrimination and hate, you’re a dick.
If you can’t or won’t recognize the progress that has been made in civil rights and equal treatment and opportunities in this country, but insist that everyone who is not like you is disgusting, prejudiced, racist, bigoted, etc., you’re a dick.
If you try to get those who simply disagree with your views fired or otherwise removed from their positions, you’re a dick.
If you try to extort money from companies based on false claims merely because they’re better off than you are and you see an opportunity to profit, you’re a dick.
If you attempt to use force – whether government or otherwise – to silence those with opposing views, you’re a dick.
If you retaliate against those who disagree with you by threatening them, their families, and their livelihoods, revealing their personal information online, launching cyber attacks, or blackmailing them, you’re a dick.
And if you would go so far as to open a cake you just bought and falsify a hateful message just so you can bring attention to your alleged “plight,” and then file suit against the company that sold you that cake, you’re a cake dick.
Jordan Brown, you’re a deplorable cake dick. Live with that.