The Bathroom Thing

I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I have no idea why. Maybe because my social media feed is filled with photos of absolutely hideous transvestites, inviting me to imagine them with cameras, trying to take photos of women’s genitalia in bathrooms.

Hi, I'm here to take photos of you taking a poop!

Hi, I’m here to take photos of you taking a poop!

Imagine this in the bathroom with your eight-year-old daughter, they say.

I’ve thought about it. A lot.

And you know what? I honestly don’t care if this dude wants to use the stall next to me. I really don’t.

Now, your mileage may vary, and you will probably disagree vociferously with me, but I don’t care. I know a variety of people – men, women, genderqueers, and transvestites. I have a vast array of friends. I refuse to judge them. They are who they are – intelligent, funny, loyal people – and I wouldn’t be friends with them if they weren’t. And I really don’t care if they want to use the same bathroom as me.

Being a transgender doesn’t make one a pedophile.

Being gay does not make one a sex abuser.

Being male does not make one a rapist.

If you look at who the perpetrators of child sexual abuse are, 60 percent are not strangers in a bathroom. They are family friends. They are babysitters.  They are neighbors.

Moreover, 30 percent are actual family members, and only 10 percent are actual strangers.

If I have a child with me, damn skippy I’m going to be vigilant and watch them to ensure that nothing happens, but that’s not limited to public bathrooms – whether gender neutral or not. That’s just common sense.

I’m not worried about sexual assault in a gender neutral bathroom any more than I’m worried about sexual assault at a bar after a night of drinking. Being vigilant, being observant, being aware of one’s environment are much more effective strategies to prevent sexual assault than keeping a guy dressed as a woman out of a bathroom.

I have a much bigger problem with governments regulating bathroom facilities than I have with transgenders using them. I’m a grownup. I am perfectly capable of making an informed choice about where to spend my money without states and localities making laws and deciding for me. I’m sure all of you are as well.

If a restaurant only offers a gender neutral bathroom, you are free not to patronize it if you don’t feel comfortable. You are certainly not free to demand they accommodate your discomfort and use government force to get your way.

It works the other way too. If you are transgender, I assume you are intelligent and mature enough to decide whether you want to spend your money at a business that only offers single gender, multi-occupancy bathrooms and will not allow you to use the bathroom of your choice. You have every right to walk away and spend your money elsewhere. What you should not be able to do is force the business to bend to your desires at the point of a (figurative) government gun.

Trust me, if someone wants to commit sexual assault, they will do it. They certainly don’t have to put on a dress to facilitate the act. Frankly, if someone is turned on by another person taking a steamy deuce in a bathroom stall, they have bigger problems than feeling a bit girly.

If you’re a business owner, decide what kind of facilities you want to offer and clearly mark them.

Ensure the stalls in your bathroom facilities do not have gaps between the doors and walls. Ensure they’re solid, like they are in most European bathrooms. No peeking. No problem.

Know you won’t satisfy all people at all times and no matter what kind of facilities you decide to offer, you will probably piss someone off, because that’s how people are.

As for me, I just don’t care. Make sure it’s clean. Make sure it’s operational. Make sure it doesn’t reek, and is well-stocked with soap, toilet paper, and other necessities.

That’s all I need.



26 responses

  1. Hear hear, on both the libertarian point AND on suggesting European style stalls are used. (Even better–raise the height of the doors and walls, and eliminate the foot high gap underneath doors and walls.) A lot of gap-filling would be a relatively easy retrofit (bolt on flanges to cover the gaps), assuming, of course that OSHA or some other thicket of dickweeds doesn’t just jump up and say no for some arbitrary/fuckwit reason.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I don’t even know why this is an issue. What do people think transgender people have been doing all this time?

    That’s right, they’ve been dressing and making themselves LOOK like the gender they identify with, and they have been using the restrooms that they identify with for a LONG LONG time already.

    It’s just that most people never pay that close attention. ESPECIALLY in the rest room.

    Now if there IS a guy in the women’s restroom leering and being inappropriate, then sure, beat the stuffing out of him and call the police. But if it is someone simply trying to live his/her life without being a problem, then why should ANY of us care?


  3. WAIT!!!
    You can have all of those things that you want, but in addition, please retrofit ALL the bathrooms with diaper changing stations.
    Thank you for your consideration.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. This is kinda creepy though:

    (click on link to see the article, which is longer, and has the relevant links)

    Not to mention this little tidbit, which was hidden from the national news by The Charlotte Observer: The HB2 legislation was written to OVERTURN a bathroom sharing ordinance put forth by a CONVICTED SEX OFFENDER who somehow got himself elected to the Charlotte, NC city council!

    Seaverence, Chad


    From the above linked article:

    Using the nonsense term “LGBT activist”, The Charlotte Observer said Chad Sevearance – president of the “LGBT-founded” Charlotte Business Guild – was a lead agitator behind the failed measure. A convicted child molester, Sevearance wants criminal penalties imposed on businesses that discriminate against homosexual or transgender persons for any reason.

    Claiming that the absence of laws prohibiting discrimination against homosexual and transgender persons would prevent Americans from “put[ting] roots down” in Charlotte, Sevearance framed his left-wing agitation as serving the city’s best interests of population growth.

    Calling for all bathrooms, both publicly and privately owned, to be made available to both genders, Sevearance and his “LGBT group” wanted showers for little girls to be open to grown men in the name of “nondiscrimination”.

    A local group pushing back against the proposed measure brought to public attention Sevearance’s conviction for child molestation and status as a registered sex offender. Deliberately omitting this detail of Sevearance’s past, The Charlotte Observer offered up its reporting to assist attempts to pass property-rights-violating measure.

    And though the first attempt to pass the above legislation failed, it was subsequently passed, and was scheduled to go into effect this month. Read more about it here.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ronald J Johnson

      Given that all it takes to be considered a “child molester” is to be 18 years old with a 17 year old girlfriend/boyfriend, I don’t get much exercised over the term “child molester.” If, on the other hand, he’s a 20 year old diddling with a 12 year old, you’ve got something to be concerned about. The devil is in the details.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. As R. Johnson implied: What are the details of his conviction/offense? Is he rehabilitated? Do you have any evidence that he has a nefarious agenda?


      1. *sigh* Nicki, I’m sorry if this will trip your spam filter because by ugly necessity, I’ve had to put in a lot of links.

        I think some more of the details were discussed over at Sarah’s blog at some point recently, but I’m in Australia. What I was able to find, was from what other people have already dug up and linked, and I did link the article which I’d found. I think people in the US would have better luck finding information to try refute my mistrust.

        The problem is, this is not new behavior. The last time this came up in discussion here, I wrote up a blog post to reply to a point in the conversation, because it was simply too long to put in as a comment. Therein, I wrote about examples of sexual predation hiding behind transgenders, advocates of child sexuality, and advocates of gay adoption, to first, gain access to their prey, and also use their advocacies to protect them from criticism, as well as use it as a weapon with an accusation of bigotry if criticism does arise. Given that pattern of predation, I have no reason to trust that a previous sexual offender has good intentions. Similarly, I find distrustful the stories related of people advocating for safety in the linked article being thrown under the bus for diversity reasons and out of fear of the charge of bigotry. Regards Eugene Chad, the article/blog I linked links their source article, which also links the record.

        It lists his age when he offended, and the age of the child which he victimized. Following the links from The Daily Wire article, there’s this page, which may give more information.

        That site describes that there were three counts of sexual molestation for children under the age of 16 and he was convicted of one, for which he served ten years.

        However, it is clear that I am not the only one who finds suspicious and of dubious nature that a convicted sex offender is agitating for bathroom access for LGBT nondiscrimination ‘reasons’, or that he may have a nefarious agenda.

        From the Daily Wire:

        A convicted child molester, Sevearance wants criminal penalties imposed on businesses that discriminate against homosexual or transgender persons for any reason.

        Claiming that the absence of laws prohibiting discrimination against homosexual and transgender persons would prevent Americans from “put[ting] roots down” in Charlotte, Sevearance framed his left-wing agitation as serving the city’s best interests of population growth.

        Calling for all bathrooms, both publicly and privately owned, to be made available to both genders, Sevearance and his “LGBT group” wanted showers for little girls to be open to grown men in the name of “nondiscrimination”.

        As for the possibility he’s not really a sex offender: There is a chance he might not be, small as it might be. He however, fits the pattern of behavior exhibited by others. As for the observation that it seems very easy to get on that list, I suspect that there’ll probably be a lot more of that, especially if computer security for the fervent advocates of safety for the rest of y’all isn’t very good. Especially in the wake of the common SJW concept that if it’s for their cause, it’s not evil if they do it.

        Allow me to clarify however, that I don’t believe being gay or transgender = criminal. I come from a country where particularly effeminate gay men, very feminine crossdressers/transgender (the line, as I said at Sarah’s is blurred – the catchall term for them is ‘bading’) often do use female bathrooms – often in the company of their female friends. The thing that culturally makes the women in this feel safe about them coming along is they’re often attracted to men, and are thus, ‘safe.’

        Now let me ask you: Why should I trust that person to have good intentions?

        Anyway, I have to run. I have a bus to catch.


  5. Here’s an Objectivist (i.e., Randian) perspective on this:

    Pretty much aligns with what’s being said here.


    1. I think one of the main problems we have here is, sure a shop could decide for or against gender neutral or gender specific restrooms, but the rather unfortunate trend is for suing the business for refusing to accommodate group, but this has been somewhat lopsided in practice. Whether it’s baking cakes, providing photography or venues, or bathrooms, or boys joining the Girl Scouts (and vice versa – I lose track) businesses have steadily lost the ability to say “I refuse to sell/provide this service” without it being a massive media shitstorm each and every time. It sucks, but there you go; as I said on my blog, it’s not going to be a favorable decision every time for the side of LGBT. Someone IS going to have to lose out in a court case, and someone else loses. What I think was lost in this case was the ability for adults to choose for themselves, but that’s exactly what happens when a problem is brought to the state and the state is told “Decide for us and enforce it on our behalf.”

      I’m ALL FOR gays and transgender people to be given the same rights and equality as anyone else, but on the same hand, I want them to be as criticize-able, held to the same responsibilities, expectations, and penalties the rest of us are – which, because of perceived ‘special minority’ status, they’re not, and because of that they’re treated differently, which runs completely counter to the concept of their getting equal rights. I do NOT think being male, or gay, or trans, or female means the potential for being a predator – but the socially ‘special’ status means that abusers are able to use them as shields against criticism and closer scrutiny. You can’t have a discussion about pros and cons if all that is approved of is rah-rah-rah cheering, and criticism is constantly slammed as bigotry. It’s Andrew Klavan’s “Shut Up” explanation, again and again.

      Equal rights doesn’t mean “This group gets better treatment than 99% of the population” it’s “You are subject to the same penalties and protections as a human being under the laws of this country. And that sometimes will mean, you’ll have to respect the right of the other person or group to say no.”

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Spot on.

        Special rights aren’t rights at all.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I care about who is in the bathroom with me. And I care about who is in the bathroom with my wife and daughters. Why does someone else get to tell me what to do but I cannot tell them what to do? Why do they have more power than I do?


  7. scott2harrison

    I am picking a nit here, but you say that you say that you refuse to judge your frends, but in the very next sentance you pronounce judgement (” They are who they are – intelligent, funny, loyal people – and I wouldn’t be friends with them if they weren’t.”). This should be somewhat odd, unfortunately many people do this. It is as if they do not know what judgement is.


    1. Sigh. There’s a difference between judging their value to me and passing judgment on their way of dressing, their gender identity, etc. One affects me and our interactions. The other one affects them and what they consider themselves to be, which is none of my business – unless they consider themselves to be child molesters or something that affects others’ well being and rights. I didn’t feel it necessary to delineate and use precise language. I figured people would get that.

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Nicki’s statement about her friends is clear from context and is standard usage.
      ‘Judge,’ though, IS a word that could use defining. It can mean ‘evaluate,’ for example.
      I grew up under the American system of jurisprudence, and in a jury trial, the judge is there mostly to explain the process to the jurors, and to rule on points raised by the counsel. In the only time I’ve been called for jury duty, we the jury decided what verdict the evidence supported; the judge decided what punishment to impose. So, maybe, Nicki’s use of the language is not only scintillatingly brilliant, but crisply precise as well. She decided what verdict the evidence supported (that these were funny & friendly people); she did NOT judge, since she imposed no sanctions.
      I’m really, really tempted to go overboard with adjectives. I’ve had a crappy day due to people, and it’s not over yet, so…
      …so perhaps if I point out how taut her logic feels, thrusting against the imprecision of scantily scattered bits of words, pathetically trying to gather them together in a futile attempt to cover my errors;
      …gazing deeply into the crystal-clear brilliance of her intellect, feeling it warm the frosty crevices of my mind causing it to open like an orchid to receive the fertilizing invader;
      …stretching my mind under the soft, cogent outline of her rhetoric;
      …luxuriating in the relaxing pulse of surrender to her dominant word usage.

      Okay, I’m not so pissed off now.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh goodness! I think I’m turned on! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. There is not really a good answer to this, so I default to the libertarian view, of let the business owners decide. Personally I believe all this type of stuff is a distraction form a much bigger issue. I believe Transexualism is generally a result of a mental illness, and by trying to treat it as if it was completely normal is causing more harm than good, as their suicide rate is quite high even after they get the surgery to swap genders. Now that’s not to say I think all need treatment and no one should be forced if they don’t want help, but by trying normalizing it, some that really need the help won’t even think to seek it.


    1. I don’t see it as normalizing it. Some of these people are genuinely suffering. Many are afraid to go into a men’s bathroom, for instance, while dressed as a woman, because they will generally get assaulted. Others suffer because they cannot be who they genuinely believe they are. I’d say it’s more like helping them.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Instead of two big rooms filled with commodes, urinals, or both, just have individual water closets with enough room for ONE person (male, female, whatever). Eliminates the problem.


    1. That’s not all that different from my suggestion. Mine would be an easier “retrofit,” yours would get rid of the segregated “common” area in the restrooms.

      Going all the way, there’d be one-holers off the hallway, and the sink set in a nook nearby, perhaps next to the water fountain. That might shame the 50 percent who don’t wash their hands, into doing so.


    2. And people with young children (of either matching or opposite gender) can do…. what, exactly?


  10. It used to be so cut and dried for me. Men by birth in the men’s, and vice versa. Then I made a friend who was trans. And got to know her. And understood the pain she went through her whole life. I started to look at other people who also had this issue. Then I looked at how I had looked at the entire LGBT issue. I had always thought I was not prejudiced, but I learned that in reality my prejudice was of a different type. And I have since changed.

    I now understand that having a transexual in the bathroom with your child puts them in no more danger than they were in before. If you feel that your child should not be in a public restroom with an adult that you do not know, then it is your responsibility to be there with them. Gender has nothing to do with it. A pedophile can be gay, straight, transexual, or lesbian. They can be a Priest, a boy scout leader, or they can be a female gym teacher, or they can be the mother or father next door. In other words, it can be anyone, or it can be no one.

    I still struggle with my own prejudice. It is hard to overcome a lifetime of conditioning. However, of one thing I am certain. The change allowing people to choose which bathroom to use will not be the end of our civilization as we know it. In fact, I have seen it before, when a men’s room was full, and the ladies room was empty, a man snuck into the other room to take a quick piss, and the other way around, and low and behold, our country is still here.
    There of course will be the occasional lout who tries to take pictures under the stall in the girls bathroom in the high school. That will be weeded out by proper action by those in charge, if they make an example of the idiots the way they should. And we all know it will happen. Hell, if I were a teenage boy, I would have thoughts of it cross my mind. But I would never in my life act on them. Respect for women was a part of my makeup from an early age.
    Hopefully, in time this will become a non issue, as we have many more important things confronting our country than this. It is time we adults act like adults and expect everyone else to do the same.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That will be weeded out by proper action by those in charge, if they make an example of the idiots the way they should. And we all know it will happen.

      They won’t make an example of this. It’s far more important to ensure the kids don’t draw guns or chew a poptart into an L shape.

      Seriously, if that’s the problem… eliminate the fucking foot tall gap under the stall doors (why is it there in the first place? It’s one of “those” questions). and bolt little flanges of metal over the vertical gaps between the door and the wall.

      (Another one of “those” questions: Why the hell aren’t headlights connected to the ACC option, like stereos are?)


  11. We could just re-label all the restrooms. Those with urinals are for people (of whatever identity) who have a penis. Those with more toilets are for people (of whatever identity) who have vaginas. But I guess that’s too simple.

    Nicki, believe me, there is never anything “figurative” about the government’s guns.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. My solution, if I ran my own business?

    No toilets for anyone anymore. Fuck you all for being stupid, whiney fucktarts and ruining everything for everyone. Throw child-like tantrums about bathrooms? Fine, I’ll treat you like the retarded carpet-ape you are emulating: You don’t get what you want, and now NOBODY gets ANYTHING. Go shit your trousers outside, I don’t fucking care anymore. Piss down your leg, it’s not my problem unless you do it inside. No-one ever died from this. Go out in the alley. Don’t like that option? Why didn’t you go at home (Where, oddly, MOST adults share bathrooms WITHOUT FUCKING CRYING ABOUT IT)? Or hold it until you get back there, or you find a ‘safe space’ where someone caters to your fee-fees.

    You stupid, broken-glass-cunted, cactus-dildo morons.

    Go drink lye and Get. Fucked.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think I love you! 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Also, why does no-one address adult men going to the bathroom with their young daughters, or adult women with their young sons?

    Liked by 1 person

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