Dear Republican and Democrat establishments,
By this time you’re probably wondering what the hell is happening to that nice little world you’ve created for yourselves. The Hairy Hemorrhoid™ and the Septuagenarian Socialist are putting a spike the size of a cricket bat into the tires of your 2016 campaign buses, and you are spinning ferociously in your seats like ferrets on speed, trying to catch up.
What the hell happened?
Well you need to look no further than your mirrors, and not the funhouse ones that give you that warped view of yourselves, either. Take a long, hard look at what’s going on, because you are the ones who created the deranged monstrosity we’re seeing in the primaries of both parties today!
Republicans, you want to know why the obnoxious, narcissistic, boorish, classless assclown has won his third primary in a row?
You created him, you brainless shit weasels!
You ignored the calls of the grassroots to change. You’ve tried to foist your “moderate” picks on the people… first McCain (it was his turn, after all!)… then Mittens (the guy who lost to the guy who lost to Bush in 2000, and then proceeded to lose to Obama in 2012)… and then the Third Coming of Bush. And now that the more than $100 million you wasted on that guy has swirled the drain, you’re trying to promote a Rubio/Kasich ticket? Are you fucking high? Are you stupid? Do you not get the message?
Republican voters don’t want a compromiser. They don’t want a flip-flopper. They don’t want the usual establishment liars. And they certainly don’t want someone who doesn’t listen to the grassroots on issues such as illegal immigration, and has voted for the Clinton “assault” weapons ban, while giving lip service to the Second Amendment. In a poll conducted by the Zelman Partisans recently, 20 percent and 22.6 percent of respondents found Rubio and Kasich respectively to be the biggest threats to our Second Amendment rights. Now, it’s a small sampling of respondents, but it’s indicative of something – something not good.
And yet, you don’t listen. And now that your Clown Prince has been dethroned, you’re trying to toss yet another establishment RINO in the pool to see if that turd will float, and you’re wondering why the grassroots are so pissed off that they will vote for a lying, self-absorbed jackass, who has a history of throwing money at exactly the type of leftists you claim to despise and in his own words has supported every single big government thing you claim to oppose!
Yep, you’ve pissed off the grassroots so much, they’re willing to vote for a lying, liberal embarrassment just to show you how much you suck!
Every year, you stick your syphilitic cocks in the faces of the voters, and you expect them to hold their noses and swallow.
Guess what, morons! It’s not happening this year! The grassroots are rebelling, and they’re going to chomp down on that member you’ve so arrogantly presented to them, spit it out, and watch you bleed and squeal.
You think years of compromising on such issues as illegal immigration, open borders, budgets, debt ceilings, judicial nominees, and other destructive policies in spite of growing dissent from the very people who put them into office is going to endear the establishment to them?
No, they’re so sick of you and your Washington boys, they’re willing to cut America’s nose off to spite her face, and you are responsible. You are arrogant. You are willfully blind. You refuse to stand on your principles, choosing instead to push a more “electable” candidate – one whom you can control, apparently – one of you – and you’ve become an elitist donor class that only needs the grassroots when it comes time to push your boy over the finish line. And guess what! The grassroots are sick of it.
Yertle the Turtle McConnell, Paul Ryan, John McCain, and the rest of your establishment buds are seen as the enemy – as big an enemy, if not bigger, than Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. And you think pushing a Rubio/Kasich establishment ticket will help? Morons!
Take a good look, GOP. You created this Trumpenstein Monster, and you will be forced to lick its shoes once he’s nominated, because you still don’t get it.
On the Democrat side we have a revolt of its own. Hillary Clinton was long thought to have been the presumptive nominee – long before she even announced she was running again! The media was beating the Hillary drum as far back as 2014.
National Review Online was assuming she was going to be the Democrats’ girl back in 2014 as well and painting her as the grand enemy for the Republicans to beat, while the mainstream media was washing her ballsack with their fawning, sycophantic “she will save us all” pablum.
Democrats, you were so busy polishing Hillary’s knob, you didn’t even see the wave of entitled children, yammering for free stuff and elevating the Socialist Septuagenarian as their Santa Claus!
You underestimated the type of society you have helped birth – a society of undereducated, entitled, demanding, infantile dolts who haven’t the slightest clue about macro economics, finance, or ethics, for that manner.
You helped create a society that thinks educating students on diversity is more important than teaching them basic economics, politics, history, and effective written and verbal communication.
And you wonder now, why the younger generation is all about voting for the candidate who promises them the most free shit?
You assumed they would line up behind Hillary.
You assumed it was her turn.
You assumed that no matter whom you shoved down their throats, they would line up like good little goosestepping Stepford Voters and cast the ballot for the Chosen One.
You assumed that idealistic children wouldn’t care about corporatism, continued scandals, honesty, or integrity.
Hey, give Teh Bern his due. He may be dumber than a box of hammers, he may be incapable of coherently discussing fiscal or economic policy, and he may be stupid on foreign policy, but his rambling, idiot supporters perceive him as somewhat honest, and he speaks to the very heart of the entitled, sniveling masses who are sick and tired of the assumption that they will just vote for whomever the establishment shoves down their little gullets.
Is it any wonder that those of us with at least half a functioning brain are considering either voting for the third party candidate, staying home, or rooting for the Sweet Meteor of Death this election season?
Take a good look in the mirror, establishment, because in your froth-flecked zeal to smash and spike the outsiders who don’t play your games and prevent them from being competitive in the nomination process, you may wind up kissing the puckered rectums of the really batshit crazy outsider faction!
Berlusconi in a bad toupee, or the nuttier than squirrel shit Socialist? Take your pick, because you birthed this Cthulhu of an election season, and it’s the rest of us who will pay.