This election season sucks

Stop the election! I want to get off!

I realize people are sick and tired of the same old, same old. I understand that every politician who is promising change in Washington is almost certainly lying. I get that they have to pander to certain demographics. But why, in the name of all that is light and good, have they turned 2016 into a bloody circus? Why?

It started with the GOP clown car, filled up with so many candidates, I began to think that maybe the old Volkswagen bug would explode! Rand Paul, Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Ben Carson. Trump decided to get in the race, Carly Fiorina, Jeb Bush, Chris Christie! At that point I began to ask what that poor clown car ever did to deserve such a fate, but then came the “others.”

Santorum, who finally ended his disaster of a presidential bid due to his dismal support. Get a clue, Frothy! No. One. Likes. You. My personal disdain for that anal polyp came during the last presidential campaign, when he shrugged off his drooling supporters booing – BOOING – a U.S. Soldier who just happened to be gay, and who just happened to have asked a question about DADT. While downrange. Deployed. Serving his country. In a hazardous duty zone. They booed him. And that zealot not only shrugged it off during the debate, but didn’t even bother thanking the Soldier for his service, or acknowledging that booing at a deployed troop was a sucky thing to do. Survey says: DOUCHE!

Huckabee, who apparently still wants to change the Constitution to “reflect the word of the living God.”

Former Virginia Governor Jim Gilmore, who… I have no idea why he’s running, frankly. He wasn’t a horrible governor, but he has no campaign and no support. He only recently made an appearance at a debate, and at the “kids’ table” at that, and spent half his time complaining about the moderators not giving him enough time to yap. I think he may have gotten 12 votes in Iowa. Total.

Rick Perry, Lindsey Graham (the mad dwarf of the Senate who was only “running” to stop Rand Paul, apparently), Bobby Jindal (smart guy, but with the personality and energy of a toilet seat), Scott Walker, and George Pataki, who reminded me of the Cryptkeeper all entered the race, but didn’t get much traction.

The drama started early, with Trump leading the pack with stupid statements, narcissistic demands, a drama queen boycott of the Iowa debate, and ultimately a meltdown on Twitter about how he’s just not getting the recognition he deserves after coming in second behind Ted Cruz.


Apparently coming in second after the “anchor baby” from Canada dampened Trump’s enthusiasm for the White House. Trump’s gloating after the debate he chose to skip because he was too afraid of being asked tough questions when he was allegedly leading in the polls was shortlived.

“I think we’re going to do really well in Iowa. We’re leading in the Iowa polls. And Cruz is in the second place. He got really pummeled last night. I’m glad I wasn’t there. And they didn’t even mention that he was born in Canada,” Trump said at a speech at the Radisson Hotel here in Nashua on Friday morning. “So he got beaten pretty badly last night. And I don’t know what’s going to happen to him.”

Well, what happened to him, you narcissistic, spoiled rotten drama queen, is that he handed you your toupee-wearing ass, and the mini-meltdown you subsequently had on Twitter was the icing on top of a very ugly cake you’ve been baking since this insane campaign began.

The Iowa caucuses ended in yet more drama. Carson accused the Cruz team of spreading misinformation about Carson dropping out and demanded the staffer who did so be fired. I just love it when candidates make demands. Not. Cruz apologized. Carson accepted, but couldn’t resist one last swipe at Cruz, wondering whether there was a deeper “cultural issue” with the campaign.

And while I thought that he at least had some class left after his short, gracious speech in Iowa after Cruz was declared the winner, I was apparently too quick to judge. Trump has about as much class as a hairy, syphilis-infected testicle. Never to NOT take a loss personally, this screeching bag of douche has decided he will probably file a formal complaint accusing the Cruz campaign of fraud, because HOW COULD HE, THE DONALD, HAVE LOST IOWA? HE, THE DONALD, IS AWESOME! HE, THE DONALD, DOESN’T LOSE!

Cruz apologized to Republican presidential hopeful Ben Carson on Tuesday for rumors before the Iowa caucuses had finished that the retired neurosurgeon would drop out of the race, calling it a “mistake.”

Trump called it “one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen.” 

“What he did is unthinkable,” he continued. “He said the man has left the race and he said it during the caucus. And then when clarification was put out by Ben Carson saying it’s untrue, they got a statement and they didn’t put it out.”

“They apologized after the caucus was over. How does that help?”

Trump said Cruz’s actions were tantamount to “voter fraud.”

Never mind that CNN’s Chris Moody tweeted out the following:


Kudos to polistick for the screen cap. 

This apparently prompted the Cruz campaign to (erroneously) assess that Carson was ending his campaign. Cruz already apologized to Carson for the mistake, Carson admitted that his staffer did say he was going back to Florida, but Trump needs retribution, so…

Survey says: DOUCHE!

In the meantime, on the Democrat side, the Clinton and Sanders numbers were so close in Iowa, that rumblings have begun about fraud. NPR explains the details here, which makes it sound less nefarious than Berntards would have you believe, but hey, CORRUPTION! Sanders then tried to pull a Trump by threatening to pull out of the New Hampshire debate, unless the Clinton campaign agreed to MOAR debates! “I won’t debate unless you commit to more debates!”

Um… what?

Well, apparently that bit of fury has been settled as of this morning, and the Bernster will participate in the New Hampshire debate, if nothing else, to make himself look even more economically illiterate than he already looks, and that’s saying quite a bit.

Now, do you see why I want this campaign over with? I’m not sure I can handle any more cray.


22 responses

  1. Actually, I thought the whole thing in Iowa was rather funny. I got a chuckle out of it anyway. I think, and hope, that Trump is finally resonating with voters that he’s a complete narcissistic douche with this latest meltdown. Cruz didn’t do himself any favors with the mailings and then the Carson debacle. But Carson didn’t do himself much good either by saying he was going home and skipping NH/SC, that does sound like giving up.

    And with Hilarity and Bernstar being so close I think it’s actually good entertainment watching the clueless go up against the feckless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I guess I’m just sick of the whole thing, and I have to wonder what the international community thinks of this whole debacle. It’s like a bunch of third graders is running for the most powerful office in the world! It’s embarrassing!


    2. You just gotta hang on for the ride. Every election season seems to be worse and worse. At least this year there is someone I feel I can get behind (Cruz) instead of just holding my nose and voting for who I think will do the least amount of damage. If Trump gets the nom, I might just have to write someone in…again.


  2. And don’t forget about the #LamestreamMedia meltdown, especially FoxNews…


  3. Well, Nicki, when you put it that that way, it does sound sort of bad. 🙂

    The Iowa Caucus, especially on the Dem side, was a total clusterfuck. Coin tosses? Gimme a fucking break. And the rest of the country is supposed to look to Iowa as a harbinger of who the party nominees will actually be? Gimme another fucking break.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wait – what? Trumpery didn’t win, so he’s going to take his butt-hurt balls and go home? Oh, no – he’s going to SUUUUE!

    It’s hard having an inflated ego along with hair plugs with a hairline so low, he could strain his soup in it. (Nicki, your colorful invective is infectious. 🙂 )

    I just watch it from a safe distance, and gigglesnort. When the dust clears, I’d bet shrillary (who is under investigation for her sloppy e-mail tactics) will be replaced by someone less stupid….

    Eeeewwww: Trumpery? Is that possible?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And guess what’s trending on Twitter? #TrumperTantrum!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m rather enjoying the election season. Not only do we have a candidate defending himself against allegations that he didn’t stab someone, we have another who has publicly confessed to thousands of felonies that specifically bar her from the office.

    Popcorn has never tasted so good.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Every electoral season makes me embarrassed for my country, this season more than most. Political puppet theater is unbecoming of a rational nation. If the crop of candidates [current and recently dropped] is the best and brightest that we as a nation, can proffer for “leadership of the free world”…we are truly doomed.


  7. Good to see that someone shares my disdain for the Iowa Caucus process…even if they do write for the HuffPo.


  8. Nicki. I’m with kamas716, I think as the field shrinks down to 3 the country is going to see Trump for the narcissistic douche that he is.


    1. I can only hope that you guys are right. At this point, it’s all I can do not to punch my TV screen every time I see his foul face on it. I would fucking vote for Jeffrey Dahmer, Honey Boo Boo’s fat mother, and Satan himself (only if he looks like that hot Brit guy on “Lucifer”) before voting for Trump.


  9. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn


  10. I don’t know what is going to happen with Trump. He may after all decide to take his football and go home. But I think we all owe him a debt of gratitude for two things: Scaring the sh*t out of the establishment Republicans, and raising issues like immigration that no other candidate dares talk about.


    1. I’d submit Cruz scares establishment republicans more than Trump did, especially since he admitted a couple of weeks ago that he was one of them. The establishment HATES Cruz, which makes me like him. Trump just bribes anyone he can. As for the immigration issue, he claims the only reason anyone is talking about it is because of him… I remember the shitstorm over Bush’s “Comprehensive Immigration Reform” in 2007, and how the Senate’s phone system crashed because of all the outrage. I don’t think it’s been a hush-hush issue. I think just because there was a stalemate on the issue, doesn’t mean there was silence. YMMV


  11. Com’n Nickster…

    “We’ve only just begun…to live
    White lace and promises
    A kiss for luck and we’re on our way”

    dunno why I’m channeling the Carpenters…


  12. You think this is bad — you should watch Parliament when it’s in session. I mean really sit through it and watch. You could add a lot more to your colorful vocabulary, Nicki.


  13. I’ve often wondered how you Americans put up with so much BS for so long. Your election cycles are unbelievably long. They call an election here in Australia and it’s usually all over within 3 months at the outside.. 😛


    1. I have a dream about a Constitutional Amendment for that….

      The problem is that our elections are pre-scheduled on calendar intervals, they don’t just pop up at random. So everyone knows when to start campaigning…. and that time gets earlier every election cycle, to beat out the other guy….


  14. “…any type of sexual activity has no place in the military…”

    He sprinted right past Full Potato(tm) and dove head-first into Full Turnip(tm).

    He’s not even a clown. He’s full-bore Fascist-Hate-Fuckery.


  15. I just don’t think I can afford enough whiskey to get through this shit.


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