A few weeks ago, a Baltimore Sun editor named Tricia Bishop penned an inflammatory column in which she equated gun owners with sex offenders and demanded a registry of those who chose to exercise their Second Amendment rights, so she could decide whether or not to allow her crotchfruit to grace those homes with her presence.
The backlash was quick and intense, as numerous gun rights supporters and even those in favor of gun control (just check the comments in the original and the Twitter feed response) widely panned the idea as stupid, offensive, and unconstitutional.
Well, Tricia apparently hasn’t learned the first law of holes, because she’s doubled down on the stupid in yet another column – this one a passive aggressive composition about the mean gun owners who insulted and berated her for wanting to treat them like sex offenders, as well as impugned her intelligence and parenting skills.
Her bottom line, however, is that the gun bullies, as mean and intimidating as they are, should be countered by an equally powerful anti-gun force, because see… polls are on her side. And in this battle of good versus evil, gun grabbers are sure to win, because POLLS or something.
So time for some whining fascist to English translation. Just a reminder that her text will be in italic blockquote, but will not show up on mobile devices for some reason. However, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out which is text is her stupid, and which is my reply.
Here’s what happens when the NRA tweets your gun-control column, which is then picked up by several conservative media outlets: It makes your piece one of The Sun’s best read opinions of the new year, and it unleashes the hounds.
Translation: I love the attention. Even the evil NRA and conservative media outlets link to me! Look how important I am! They consider me significant enough to unleash their attack dogs on me! Look at me! I have the best read column of the new year (which was something like six days old at the time).
“Batten down the hatches,” was the advice my editor gave after signing off on the admittedly provocative essay, which explored the idea of a searchable, public database of registered gun owners. He wasn’t kidding.
They came at me via email, Twitter, Facebook, telephone and the U.S. Postal Service, attacking my looks, intelligence and parenting skills. They suggested multiple ways my child could be killed other than by guns and liberally used the f-word, b-word and c-word (at least once misspelled with a k) for emphasis. “Special kind of stupid” was a favorite put down (though I kind of liked “trollop” — you just don’t hear that much anymore), as was questioning whether I was on my period (Hey Trump fans!).
Some were local, but many weren’t. And a handful were thoughtful, respectful and earnest, with fair points to make. I tried to respond to those folks, though I may have missed some; I stopped reading the messages after a while. You can only take so much cyberbullying before it gets old.
Translation: Gun owners attacked me. They were mean to me. They bullied me until I hid under my bed away from my Inbox. They called me names. Why? Because I wanted to treat them like the worst life form on this planet (sub-human detritus that even convicted felons despise) for the awful crime of taking responsibility for their safety and the safety of their loved ones and daring to exercise their Second Amendment rights! They called me bad words for that!
In short, the response was largely ruthless, relentless and meant to intimidate. It was also impressive. Seriously. Tens of thousands of people read the column online (and at least another 23,000 read the web summary), and hundreds took time out of their days to give me a piece of their minds. If these same gun owners lobby their legislators with half the passion they directed my way, it’s not hard to see why they have been so successful in fighting gun control efforts.
Translation: They’re mean! They’re bullies. (But look at how awesome I am that they took the time to abuse me – I must be significant!) But I have a case of passion penis envy, because they’re intensely dedicated to their rights, and people like me can only use the First Amendment to attack the Second by proposing cretinous ideas rejected by the vast majority of Americans with an IQ above room temperature and then hide when the backlash inevitably hits.
And there’s the takeaway: Those of us who claim to support gun reform efforts — the majority of the country, according to recent polls — have to be as loud or louder to be heard (though perhaps more civil). It’s not enough to shed tears over the latest mass shooting or bemoan gun buying loopholes with like-minded friends. We’ve got to act. The gun owners, roughly a third of the population, sure do. Many are single issue voters who turn out for every election, proudly contribute to the NRA and wholly believe in their cause. Can we say the same?
Translation: We need to lie more and louder. We know we’re in the minority. We know recent polls show us losing, but we need to be louder anyway, because if you screech a lie loudly enough, “GUN SHOW LOOPHOLES! POLLS!” politicians will not notice that the gun show “loophole” claim has been debunked numerous times, and polls show a decline in gun control support. Just lie more. Lie louder.
In an op-ed earlier this month in the New York Times, discussing his new executive actions on gun control laws, which are supported by 67 percent of Americans, President Barack Obama pledged to also take every action he could as a citizen. “I will not campaign for, vote for or support any candidate, even in my own party, who does not support common-sense gun reform,” he wrote. “And if the 90 percent of Americans who do support common-sense gun reforms join me, we will elect the leadership we deserve.”
I can get on board with that, though I don’t think we should wait around for the next election. We need to speak up immediately to let our politicians know how they can best represent us — or find a new career. There are many gun control advocates who already do this, but nowhere near enough given the numbers of people who say they support reforms.
Translation: If the President can lie and obfuscate, so can we! There’s just not enough of us who lie loudly enough. So we need to start. The quicker, the better. Just watch how I do it below!
The time for action from that silent group is now. As Alec MacGillis, a former Sun reporter now with ProPublica, noted in a recent opinion piece, the gun lobby’s power is waning: Gun ownership is concentrated in a smaller portion of the population, universal background legislation nearly passed in 2013, and more politicians are willing to take on the National Rifle Association.
Translation: Only in my twisted world can I claim that the gun lobby’s power is waning by using an opinion piece that cites a CNN story from 2012. Only in my twisted world can I claim gun ownership is on the decline, despite NICS background check data showing a clear increase, and despite other, more current polls, contradicting that claim. I also don’t care that I’m relying on data based on what people will admit, which leaves a rather vast and unknown delta between those who acknowledge gun ownership and how many actually do. And only in my own delusions can I claim a 54-46 Senate vote rejecting the background check bill in 2013 “nearly passed.”
New polling and study data are also making it clear that Americans not only want tighter controls on gun ownership but also more controllable guns. A study published yesterday in the American Journal of Public Health found that roughly 60 percent of Americans overall (including 40 percent of gun owners and 56 percent of political conservatives) would be willing to buy a “smart gun” with safety technology that limits who can fire it. That suggests there’s a market for such firearms — which could reduce gun suicides and accidental shootings, and render a weapon useless if stolen — despite claims to the contrary by gun manufacturer trade associations.
Translation: I will use only specifically-worded surveys to bolster my disingenuous claims. Scientific studies and public statements about lack of reliability and the risks of hacking from law enforcement officers don’t matter, because they don’t support my agenda. I also don’t understand what a “market” actually is. Oh, you mean a free market? Yeah… I have no idea.
While a public database of gun owners may push too far, easy access to guns is nevertheless a problem in this country. So is our acceptance of it.
Translation: I got my ass handed to me by both gun owners and non-gun owners alike. My leadership at the Baltimore Sun likely told me I should soften my approach.
Let me add this. The majority of Americans oppose drunk driving. Vehemently so.
So if this is the same Tricia Bishop who is now demanding that gun owners be treated like criminals for the safety of the children, I would submit that maybe this hypocritical imbecile be registered as a danger to society after her drunken driving incident.
(h/t to Misha for finding this particular piece of interesting information.)
Perhaps Tricia needs to stop digging and find another cause celebre. She just isn’t all that good at it.