As many of you know by now, the Yale professor who got the Special Snowflakes’ panties in a twist over a Halloween email in which she dared to imply that the offendapotomi were adults and should be treated as such, instead of relying on the paternalistic university administrators to tell them how to dress and how to enjoy the holiday has stopped teaching.
In an email to The Washington Post, Christakis said she cancelled her spring course “The Concept of the Problem Child” — which drew large crowds during shopping period when she also taught it this fall — in response to a campus climate not “conducive to the civil dialogue and open inquiry required to solve our urgent societal problems.”
Erika Christakis’ husband Nicholas Christakis told the News that he will take a sabbatical this spring, cancelling his popular lecture “Health of the Public.”
Erika Christakis’ “Concept of the Problem Child” covered controversial issues in contemporary America. The syllabus for the course includes books on gender, race and teenage pregnancy. Nearly all the reviews of Christakis’ classes are extremely positive.
So Yale has lost a popular lecturer, whose course students nearly universally enjoyed, because the shrieking, sniveling, cry bullies made her life so miserable for merely daring to exercise her right to voice a dissenting opinion, that she felt she no longer conduct her lectures in an environment conducive to learning!
But oh, don’t worry! I’m sure Yale will hire another lecturer to teach early childhood education – one who will focus on training young people to respect victims, to pick at their oozing, dirty sores and demand the world lick them clean, and to worship at the altar of mediocrity – as long as that mediocrity is confused about its gender, identifies as green, and uses words and phrases such as “privilege,” “hetero-patriarchy,” and “cultural appropriation.” It (it can’t possibly be a “he”) will know little about early childhood development, but it won’t really need experience or knowledge. It will be triggered by all the right things and will teach Special Snowflakes how to create whole new generations of Special Snowflakes!
Won’t that be great?
Virginia Commonwealth University didn’t experience the upheaval of Yale and Mizzou, but these cowards decided to preempt the cry bully hemorrhoidery in hopes that they wouldn’t be targeted, according to an email I recently received. This is apparently what VCU plans to do to avoid the Wrath of the Offendapotomus:
University Ombudsperson William King now has an expanded role to serve in student mediation and conflict resolution. We will monitor demand and add qualified staff as needed.
Ombudsperson. Obviously a person named William could identify as a woman… or a goat… or a colander. So we wouldn’t want to offend it. Therefore, ombudsperson.
Within the spring semester, we will establish a bias response team that will operate through University Police and will ensure efficient, effective and appropriate response to incidents that may be characterized as bias motivated.
Instead of protecting students from violence, campus police will now have a Butthurt Unit. They will probably arrive with a jar of Vagisil and a hurt feelings report to soothe the chafed labia. Maybe a jar of Vaseline for the ass rage.
They might even have the authority to put you in a special program with a curriculum tailored to deal with Special Snowflakes, which coincidentally will be offered by VCU in the spring.
We are offering a for-credit seminar course this spring on issues of diversity and inclusion, open to all students.
I’m sure instruction on microaggressions, triggers, white privilege, ableism, and how to raise a transgender pansexual animal companion will be included.
But one thing is for certain: more resources will be needed, and you can be sure the “savings” will be passed right on to the students at VCU!
Don’t worry, though. It’s worth it, because the way to fend off the Rage of the Disgruntled Anus is to hit every buzzword on the Social Justice Warrior bingo card in your academic program. And in order to do that, the faculty will have to be properly
indoctrinated educated. Because race, ethnicity, color, national origin, language, religion, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity, physical ability, penis size, occupation, and economic status need to be considered in every conversation, lecture, and exam lest the ass frazzled stage a demonstration.
Members of the president’s cabinet and senior leadership team (including deans, vice provosts, and associate vice presidents) will undergo cultural competency training in January.
And to ensure the VCU’s “diversity” agenda is properly implemented, the university president has appointed a five-member group “to oversee and coordinate the timely implementation of these executive initiatives” – The President’s Action Group on Diversity and Inclusion.
You know what this “diversity” panel doesn’t have? A single white male. Because white males are not to be included in inclusion. Or something.
And those are just the short term goals, boys and girls! The future is even MOAR bright! According to VCU officials, the school that’s already well known for its diverse student body is now exploring “ways to make VCU’s curriculum more inclusive on all levels. This includes reviewing our UNIV100 course.”
Can’t wait for that! Instead of an introduction to the University, its history, the resources available, academic opportunities, career planning, and problem solving, maybe they can focus on Introduction to Spanglish, followed by Ebonics 101 in the foreign language curriculum. Maybe a great history class called “Systems of Oppression” would be a requirement, or some “Two-Spirit Lesbian studies.”
Didn’t there used to be a time when universities focused on training independent free-thinkers and releasing them into the world, instead of fostering thumb-sucking, offensitive Generation Cupcake pansies? But it appears they’re now too scared of the limp-wristed drama queens to do their job.