And the Russians Will Probably Buy It

I’m floored. Seriously. Either the Russian FSB is slipping, or someone in the propaganda machine over at the Kremlin has been smoking something laced with formaldehyde. Why else would they come up with the most harebrained, snortworthy piece of propaganda I’ve seen in probably years? The story comes to you from Foreign Policy magazine, which reports that the Russian tabloid Komsomolskaya Pravda released a recording of two alleged “CIA agents” discussing plans for downing Malaysian Airlines flight MH17 last year. For those who don’t know, Komsomol was the old Soviet Communist youth organization run by the Party, and “pravda” is “truth,” which in this case happens to be the most laughable title for this particular rag, given the subject matter.

If you think I’m kidding, I’m not. You can listen to the whole thing right here, complete with stilted English, confused accents that start out Russian flow into British, with one of the “CIA agents” finally settling into an American accent.

Foreign Policy is chuckling at the bad production value of this supposed proof that somehow Americans were responsible for the downing of the passenger plane last July, and after having listened to this large, steaming pile of rhino dreck, I’m simply floored myself.

One sounds British for half the recording until he switches to a more American accent. The other man does his best to hide his Russian accent, but it pops up at the beginning as he clumsily asks his co-conspirator, “How are the preparations?” But the most glaring hole is in the conversation itself. The men do not talk with each other like native English speakers and use turns of phrase that sound as if their dialogue was translated to English from Russian via Google Translate. Before signing off, the two say “Luck!” to each other, a common farewell in Russian.

The video claims the recording comes from an SBU (Ukrainian security services) agent that was recruited by the “Russian Information Center – Analysis and Security” and features two agents named David Hamilton and David Lloyd Stern, who sounds suspiciously British in the recording. Gee… maybe it’s a NATO plot to discredit the Russians by blaming Russian-backed separatists for the murder of innocent civilians in Ukrainian airspace!

The botched propaganda attempt is bordering on the absurd. Bordering?? Hell, it’s surpassed absurd and gotten into the territory of “must be smoking vast amounts of crack to even attempt this absolute cornholery.”

Never mind the SBU released transcripts of real Russians discussing the downing of the plane last year! Not American fakes stiltedly discussing the downing of the plane, but actual voice intercepts.

Never mind the Russian shitbag leading the Ukrainian separatist scum Strelkov gleefully implied that he and his band of knuckle dragging assholes shot the plane down, before doing an “OOPSIE!” and taking the post down, but not before it was screen captured by numerous sites.

strelkov

Translation:

In the region of Torez, a AN-26 plane was just downed, it’s lying somewhere behind the mine “Progress.

We warned not to fly in “our skies.”

And here’s the video confirming the latest downing of the bird (about the closest I can come to translating it accurately).

The bird fell behind a slag heap, and did not affect the residential sector. Peaceful people did not suffer.

Also there’s information about a second downed plane, probably an SU.

As soon as it became known that this was a passenger plane, Strelkov, who, by the way, is a Russian military veteran, a likely intel operative, and an all around asshole, quickly took down the bragging post. Too bad for him the Internet is forever.

The Internet forever will record this attempt by Komsomolskaya Pravda to impersonate “CIA officers” as a Russian propaganda FAIL of nuclear proportions.

Russian propaganda machine RT will probably report it as breaking news. Dumbasses here in the United States who consider RT a legitimate news source will post the RT story as truth not reported by the American corporatist media in the pockets of evil politicians.

And the Russians will probably swallow it all like a porn star in a bukkakke scene.

Yes, they are that deluded.

6 responses

  1. Y.B. ben Avraham

    Amazing just how bad this thing is. The pacing, turn of phrase, tone, and, as you note; problematic idiomatic phrases and shifting accents frame this as a truly lame fake. Almost too bad. Tinker, tailor…, you know.😊 BTW, I love the new look of your site.

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  2. Point of order!

    There is little to no swallowing in bukkakke scenes!

    Get your fetishes straight.😛

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  3. Подумал он с остервенением лжецов. Они должны пользоваться не глупую ним гениталиями.

    (Sorry, not the best translation, but I tried.)

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    1. Wow, I’m not even sure what that’s supposed to say! LOL

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  4. When I think of Soviet subversion, I always think of KGB defector Yuri Bezmenov aka Tomas Schuman. Thirty years ago, he tried to warn us, but few listened. He left behind several books, lectures and interviews.

    Here’s a sample:

    He has lectures and interviews on YouTube. Google will give you a lot more.

    https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=yuri+bezmenov

    Liked by 1 person

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