Yesterday, I posted a story about some sick freaks who decided pinching a loaf in the middle of a biking trail was a wise idea, prompting officials to put a sign up with a picture of a smiling turd with a red slash through it.
Today, I read about a woman named Melissa Jacobson decided to one-up the trail pooper and lay a pile of excrement in a Wisconsin Wal Mart – a box of security tags behind the cash register, to be exact.
Melissa Jacobson, 49, was arrested on Monday after she allegedly snuck behind a store cash register and defecated in a box of security tags, JournalTimes.com reports.
Security footage showed a woman, who authorities later identified as Jacobson, answering nature’s call around 10:22 a.m. The footage also showed her reaching for paper towels beneath the counter when she was done. Then she went back to the customer service desk, according to The Smoking Gun.
Surprisingly enough, neither alcohol nor drugs were involved in this incident. However, store footage that caught Jacobson showed she was wearing a shirt with a dump truck on it and the phrase, “dropping a load.”
I shit you not.
And people wonder why “Misanthropy” is my middle name.