When I was a kid, I lived in the Soviet Union with my parents. I remember not having access to a lot of things the first world has access to, including toilet paper. We would use cut up newspaper to wipe. I remember sitting on the toilet as a little kid, and mashing up pieces of newspaper in my hands to make it just a bit softer. Because… have you ever tried to wipe with newspaper?

TMI? Probably. But there’s also a point. I remember people would literally squat in alleys, pee on apartment building landings, etc., because what public toilets there were would make even the strongest stomach turn. It wasn’t unusual to walk through the grass in the park and step in human feces. It was disgusting, but what can you do?

There’s definitely no such problem in the United States, as far as I can see. There are copious amounts of public bathrooms that aren’t foul, and porta johns in parks that while not the cleanest in the world, are like hotel bathrooms at the Ritz compared to Soviet shit holes (sans the little tuxedoed dude giving you towels after you wash your hands).

My point is, there’s no excuse for this. None.

Apparently joggers who poop along the path have been an increasing problem for Hampton over the past two years, the city’s Public Works supervisor Scott McKay told NBC station KWQC.

“When the individual does it, it does it right in the lane. It’s not on the center line. It’s not off on the grass,” he said.

The problem has gotten so bad, officials have had to put signs on the bike path asking people not to crap there!


Seriously? What the hell is wrong with people? What makes anyone think it’s acceptable to drop trou in the middle of a bike path, squat, and leave a pile of human droppings where other people jog and bike?

I don’t care if the shrimp and bean burrito feast that you washed down with your PBR the night before all of a sudden decides to peek out of your ass and threaten your $200 UnderArmour jogging tights. Unless your asshole is about to explode painfully leaving a WV sized hole where your rectum used to be, GO USE A PORTA POTTY! And if you have a medical condition that requires you to cop a squat at a moment’s notice, go see a doctor, and ferfuckssake don’t go jogging until you solve your intestinal issues!

It’s a health hazard. It’s disgusting. And it’s apparently becoming more common.

In a supposedly developed nation.

And you wonder why I hate people!


8 responses

  1. Gosh, those people are acting just like dogs. Do they stop to pee on the fire hydrants too? SMH


    1. Even my dog doesn’t squat in the middle of the street. He goes over to the grass where people won’t step in it.


  2. “McKay said he hopes the signs solve the problem.”

    Catch them in the act and beat them with a club dipped in their own shit in the public square. A couple examples like that and the problem will stop. The next option is; target in sight, fire for effect.


  3. If you see someone squatting, run over them.


  4. Right, signs will help. Like they don’t already know it’s not OK?


  5. No respect for themselves or anybody else, for that matter. Don’t they teach kids anything anymore these days? Is this part if the “if it feels good do it” generation? These people need to be smacked up side the head, or maybe have their noses rubbed in it.


  6. […] File this under: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?? […]


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