Bateman gets chapped labia

I know I’ve been away for a while. I wanted to step away from the 2014 election and let things cool off a little. To say I have little faith in the GOP and its ability to accomplish anything of actual value to this country is an understatement. Although, I will admit that the teeth-gnashing, hand-wringing, spin-filled reaction from the butthurt Democrat camp was amusing to watch, as they tried to make excuses for their significant losses – everything from the DERP-filled “VOTERS WERE DISENFRANCHISED!” to “WE MADE #GUNSENSE PROGRESS!” to “REPUBLICANS ARE POOPY HEADS AND THIS ELECTION DOESN’T MEAN ANYTHING.”

I admit it. I laughed.

I always like a good chuckle, especially when the now-infamous, violence planner, oath-breaking coward LTC (ret.) Robert (mastur)Bateman pens another angst-filled screed about the evils of guns, the evils of the NRA, and the evils of Second Amendment advocates. Because RIGHTS BAD!

What has Bob’s panties all bunched up in his puckered anus this time? Apparently, someone had the unmitigated gall to exercise their Second Amendment rights in his presence!

And because Bob considers himself an authority on what the citizens of this country, whose Constitution he swore an oath to defend, need and what rights they should be allowed to exercise, he took a wet, nervous dump in his Underoos when he saw a guy open carrying his pistol.

I’m not going to fisk his sniveling treatise, because a) I have no time to address gun banner monkey turd flinging not based in any fact and 2) I don’t want to give (mastur)Bateman more attention than he deserves. So I’m merely going to give you his bottom line, which consists of whimpering that no one needs a gun in a family restaurant (as if a paunchy, half-literate, retired, attention-whoring O-5 is somehow a viable arbiter for anyone’s needs) and a plaintive whimper about America’s “gun culture” and how it (the culture – not criminals, or negligence) kills or wounds something like 100 thousand Americans (without acknowledging that deaths by firearms, and violent crimes in general have been declining steadily over the years, while gun ownership has risen).


I’m also going to ridicule Bob a bit, because Bob is an idiot. Bob sneers about the motto Second Amendment advocates (and the big, bad NRA!) have adopted as a defiant warning to the politicians and retired O-5s who bloviate about taking away their natural rights. “Molon Labe,” Bob claims, was appropriated from the movie “The 300” by gun rights advocates, who are unaware of  its history. soccent-2 Never mind the movie came out in 2006, and gun rights advocates have been using this particular phrase since at least the 1990s. Never mind that it’s the current motto of the United States Special Operations Command Central (SOCCENT), and has been used in that very same spirit of defiance during the Texas revolution. Not that Bob has any respect for actual members of the military or anyone fighting for actual freedom – you know, those who didn’t spend their careers warping the minds of young cadets or lounging around at NATO, “planning violence” – but it’s always useful for panty-shitting cowards to excoriate others based on their alleged “knowledge” of King Leonidas’ Sparta, from whom the quote allegedly originated, rather than comprehend the spirit of the quote itself, which has been used by modern day armies and individuals as a cry of defiance for several hundred years.

And because Bob has no comprehension of honor, but rather chooses to crawl like a cockroach and lick the hands of his masters in vain hopes of perhaps getting appointed to some bureaucratic position somewhere in DC, he would rather focus on the “apocryphal” source of the quote than its meaning and what it has come to represent.

It’s OK, Bob. We understand that your lack of testicular fortitude prompts you to consistently bait gun owners from the relative safety of your computer at home. We also understand that despite your teary-eyed claims of being victimized by threats from gun owners, the vast majority of gun owners wouldn’t waste their time on vermin such as you other than to ridicule your lack of basic understanding of natural rights and your sneering contempt for the very people whose rights you swore an oath to protect. (Unlike your gun grabber friends who gleefully celebrate the thought of someone’s child being harmed, and plan how to best cause the deaths of gun owners by SWATting – such nice company you keep, Bob!)


So it’s time to once again ridicule Bob for being an oath-breaking, snot-nosed coward who soils himself at the sight of a normal guy peaceably exercising his right to keep and bear arms in public. Someone hand Bob a tissue and one of these.



13 responses

  1. “Really? A gun, at Sunday Brunch?”

    Perhaps he should ask Suzanna Hupp about that.


  2. southtexaspistolero

    no one needs a gun in a family restaurant

    I am sure Suzanna Gratia Hupp would beg to differ.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey Nicki, where did you get that graph from? Because I’d love to be able to drop it into an argument with the proper citation.


    1. Erin – Linoge. Walls of the city. 🙂


  4. The douchebags entire argument is rendered moot by the fact that the restaurant patron was legally carrying and no harm came to his delicate and easily offended person.

    I would have asked him what kind of “idiot” would have carried a gun to dine at Luby’s [Killeen, TX and location indelibly burned into Mrs Hupp’s memory] in 1991 and Luigi’s [Fayetteville, NC] in 1993….and would have likely saved someone’s life.

    “Molon Labe” what? “What the heck is that?” you might rightly ask. mean, that is not even English. Is it some kind of foreign terrorist organization?”

    Ah, derp-trolling at it’s finest. You can easily spot the demographic he’s catering to. “Look at me! Look at me! I’m a Soldier who thinks guns are icky…pay attention to me!”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. And don’t forget, “I know history! Molon Labe has questionable origins, and i can use big words!” Dick.


  5. I love how people like him automatically default to the mindset of “they’re afraid!” It’s almost as if Bateman and his kind think that taunting us by implying that we’re cowards will make us stand up and prove them wrong by giving up our guns.

    Do I have health insurance because I’m afraid I’ll get sick? Nope. I’m making a small investment to mitigate bad things happening to me.

    Do I have homeowners insurance because I’m afraid something will happen to my home? Not at all. I’m taking a precaution in case something does happen.

    But somehow, carrying a gun is “different” because “shut up.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s right. And at the same time as you’re aftaid, you also threaten him, because NRA BAD!


    2. At least he avoided the penis analogy like most anti gun types are prone to using.

      But that being said, I am willing to compromise with him. He can choose not to own and I won’t say anything about it. In return, he has to show me the same courtesy. I think that’s fair.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. My “Molon Labe” baseball cap way predates the “300” movie (which for some reason my normally violence adverse wife terribly enjoyed)! Although she also loved “Sparticus”; must be the history…


    1. Yeah, she told me she liked Spartacus. Definitely the history… or the naked Manu Bennett. 🙂 Because BEEFCAKE! Do you feel objectified yet?


    2. I WISH she’d objectify me more! I think she’s just using me for my mind…


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