Y’all had better sit down for this

It’s Friday, and it’s been a looooooooong, weird week, so I figured I’d give you guys something truly unique – something you may want to sit down for – something that may shock and amaze you.

Or if you’re like me, send you into fits of laughter that you still can’t stop. I’m sitting here in my chair, and I’m trying not to lose bladder control. The giggles… they’re real, and I’m overcome by them.

So y’all know Alex Jones is crazy, right? If you don’t, you may have been living under a rock for at least several decades. Jones runs a conspiritard site called InfoWars, or as I like to call it InfoTards. No, I’m not linking to these lunatics. I don’t need to drive any traffic their way, and you really couldn’t afford the amount of brain bleach required to get the true crazy washed out after you’ve visited it.

But (hold on, I have to giggle again), Alex Jones has a huge Bilderberg fetish. I mean he has a hardon the size of… well whatever the maximum turgidity of a frothing fatass is for the Bilderberg group, which he thinks is a group that solely exists to take over the world, whisk dissenters away in black helicopters and deposit them in re-education camps so that the installment of the New World Order can proceed smoothly… or something.

The Bilderberg group is, in fact, a private conference that meets once per year, and includes government, business and finance, academia, and media leaders. They are private. They do hold discussions every year, as they have every right to do. Their leaders do admit that the meetings are closed, specifically, so that participants can be completely candid and open with one another about different views without some media outlet reporting every word.

But because it’s… OMG SOOPER SEEKRIT, a whole lot of cranks, including the batshit crazy Jones, and a frothing faction of fruitcakes that includes the Birchers, the Lyndon LaRouche lunatics, Phyllis Schlafly and the increasingly tiresome Jesse Ventura, have decided that this group is EEEEVIL, since they obviously have something to hide, and everyone should have the right to know what they’re talking about, and because they aren’t transparent, even though they are privately funded and have a right to be, WE MUST KNOW, DAMMIT! *gasp*

Ponder the crazy for a moment, while I giggle again, because the title of the following Twitchy report is producing tears of mirth!

BREAKING: Alex Jones has exclusive photos of Bilderbergers jogging, looking out windows, sitting [pics]

Jones has apparently traveled to Denmark, where the annual conference is being held this year – or had one of his neurotic flake cronies go over there for “exclusive” coverage of the conference.

And here we have the first photo – the “scene of the crime,” so to speak.

The comments underneath the tweeted photo are comedy gold, by the way!

There are other photos at the Twitchy link I provided above, and the comments below those are just as priceless! Jones has a photo of David Petraeus – yes, that David Petraeus – get ready for this… are you sitting down? JOGGING. I know you’re floored and appalled by this, but it’s true. The former military officer and CIA director was… um… jogging.

I know. I’m as amazed as you are. Pretty heady stuff, right?

But the really scary shit is yet to come, folks, because the intrepid InfoTard has captured a Bilderberg participant…

LOOKING OUT OF A WINDOW!

*cue Beethoven’s 5th symphony*

Anyway, you’ve got to read the rest of this. It’s fairly hilarious, and just what’s needed on a Friday afternoon.

Enjoy!

6 responses

  1. ” the mega rich and powerful are plotting to take over the world”? I thought they had already accomplished that, now they are figuring out what to do with it.🙂 BTW, you still haven’t updated your status, I think your ‘teenage girl’ is no longer a teenager, and is definitely already a proud US Marine!

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  2. Someone forgot to give Joe the NWO memo – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kW4ftbEJLJ8

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  3. BTW, I have a new name for you, ‘The Queen of Billingsgate’! I came across the word ‘billingsgate’ the other day, looked it up, and thought of you.

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  4. BTW, I realize I use ‘BTW’ frequently.

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    1. Carl: as my last name is Billings, I contest your assignment of the name.

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  5. Has he been arrested yet as a Peeping Joseph? Never liked the peeping Tom designation.

    Who would have thought rich people would gather and try to figure out how to get richer and void paying confiscatory taxation? Baffles me…

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