War is hell

First, some good news. I just got the call that I am to return to work tomorrow. Still not sure about back pay, but that doesn’t even matter, because even though some bills will be late, we will still make rent in November! YAY for that!

Now that that’s over with…

I can’t help but want to stir up some shit.

When I woke up this morning, I saw this story on one of my friends’ Facebook pages. It’s the story of a young Air Force officer, who deployed to Afghanistan and came home to untold stress and trauma.

Was she captured by the enemy? No.

Was she in a firefight and saw numerous battle buddies blown into bits? No.

Was she injured by the enemy? Nope.

‘Wearing my bulletproof vest and helmet, carrying an M4 rifle and M9 pistol, with 225 rounds of ammunition strapped to my chest, I looked much tougher than I felt,’ she recounted.


Limited internet and phone service added to her feelings of vulnerability as did the fact she was a woman in predominantly a man’s world.

The the pretty brunette said that sexual assault a constant worry for her on the front line, because she ‘knew the stories’ and  ‘overheard vulgar talk.’

Oh noes! We haz no Internets and phone! I had to wear a HELMET and ammo strapped to my chest like a real member of the military or something! And the vulgar stories!

Oh, the humanity!

And apparently the food was not up to her usual standards either.

The traumatic, horrid experience affected the Princess in horrible ways!

Recalling her state of mind, she writes: ‘Nearly every night I get takeout from the same place. I’m too tired to cool and too antisocial to spend any more time in a restaurant than it takes to pay.’

She also found getting to sleep on her quiet army base an ‘extreme problem’, as she missed the white noise of war.

The lack of ‘helicopters,’ ‘rumbling armored vehicles’ and ‘chatting smokers on break’, she said, made for an ‘unsettling peace’.

And back at her desk job as a public affairs officer, she found it difficult to maintain focus because ‘everything seemed trivial’ in light of what she’d been through.

So her hardship includes takeout from the same place, no restaurants and the inability to do her job, because she heard rumors of sexual assault and was paranoid downrange.


I’m wondering if Princess thought she was joining the military or the Girl Scouts! Although, she’d probably cry in the Girl Scouts too, because some cranky old lady only bought three boxes of cookies instead of four!

I was deployed to Kosovo in 2007. I did not see battle. I was outside the wire all the time. I had to wear full battle rattle, and carry weapons on my person.

Somehow, I didn’t come back with any kind of adjustment disorder, and there was no sand in my vagina after the deployment.

This one… I’m seriously appalled at the thought that this snowflake is airing her “trauma” pity party to the world as if it was a war story!

For the record, Princess, lack of Internets =/= trauma.

Carrying ammo around in full battle rattle =/= trauma.

Being a public affairs FOBbit =/= trauma.

Being afraid of getting raped because you “heard stories” =/= trauma.

Now quit your whining, you blibbering twit!

Go read the Duffel Blog about REAL trauma!

But, according to Woodley, her most traumatic experience occurred inside the base’s Green Beans Coffee shop, where she had hoped to enjoy a chocolate-vanilla blended smoothie while catching up with friends after a long work day.

“It was about 2100 and the whole place was just crowded wall-to-wall with other soldiers and their dates. It took about fifteen minutes just to place my order. That would have been bad enough, but then they added whipped cream to my drink—I specifically asked for ‘no whip!’” Woodley paused, choking back emotion. “But the worst part, was that right after I had them remake the whole drink, and finally got the right order, the base starts getting mortared.

”In the ensuing rush to the exits, Woodley said she pulled her drink close to her chest, in order to protect it. The maneuver proved more harmful than helpful, when an “enormous” Air Force Senior Master Sergeant charged into her in a blind hysteria, crushing the frosty beverage and spilling it all over her uniform.

“It was terrifying. I had to sit in this tiny concrete bunker for 45 minutes, dripping smoothie and freezing, with two dozen other people. Half of them were crying, the other half were sipping away at their own safe, tasty drinks. I remember thinking, ‘God, please don’t let me die covered in smoothie goo.’ And I just knew the Green Beans would be closed by the time the sirens stopped, so I wouldn’t even be able to get a refund. It was the worst night of my life.”

Counseling for broken nails and lack of a pedicure too!


22 responses

  1. Nasty little FOBbitses..


  2. Air Force? It’s a good thing that this poor darling didn’t end up in the military.



    1. And the Padre SCORES!!!! 😀


    2. Gotta agree, Nicki. I remember that the USAF at Bien Hoa AB had an…wait for it….Olympic-sized swimming pool with a 10-meter diving platform! You should have HEARD them bitching when it had to be closed because snipers liked to shoot at people that high. All of their barracks were air conditioned and they NEVER had to serve C-Rations to their troops.


  3. Look, there have been REMFs bitching and pissing about how tough they had it since Washington was at Valley Forge and he had to listen to whiny little bitches complaining that the pine bark coffee was lukewarm and there was no milk.. Oh yeah, it was fucking COLD, where were the hut heaters? The poor dears were getting chapped lips for the love of God!!!


    1. They’ve been doing it since before Gilgamesh went looking for his first rumble.


  4. Once upon a time in the dim dark past,someone was sure to have suggested she go see the chaplain and get her TS Ticket punched.


  5. If anyone deserves more press it’s Martha McSally, not this woman.


  6. I once watched a documentary called “Carrier”. One of the “stars” of this documentary was always whining that his girlfriend had emailed him this week. Boo fucking hoo. The same principle applies here.


  7. This story MUST be a joke, right? “Smoothie goo???” Really? I remember being elated when what we had for “supper” was HOT….or at least had been heated at one time recently.


    1. The second one is. Duffel Blog is a satire site. LOL


  8. Y’all can kiss my pimply retired Air Farce ass. All through the 70’s and 80’s we went in and out all the shitholes in the world while the Army drank beer waitin’ the Russians on one end and guzzlin’ So-Ju watchin North Korea across the DMZ on the other. We were on the ground in the Balkans BEFORE the Army set up the bases… we flew in and out of Zaire savin’ French and Belgeek asses every time somebody revolted… where were all you Army HE-roes when we REMFs set the radar sites up on hilltops in Columbia? Gee, let me see… Security Cop fireteam, half dozen Comm & Radar types under some green LT. Ask DEA about the day they got caught with their asses hanging out by one of the cartels and ran up the hill seeking cover with us! Hell just how do you people think the NEWS got into Mogafreakindishu to film the SEALS and then the MARINES coming ashore? We were on the ground 3 months before the ARMY even showed up. Lord and Lady I’m tired of all you whiners bitchin’ about the Air Farce- it’s a VOLUNTEER force people, ya could’a joined the us and if that was the life you really wanted, just who screwed the pooch? I’m the screw up, I got an I love me wall and half the pretties are signed by “CSM this-” and “General US Army that!” Ever heard of Infantry School and BNOC at Benning? ARRRRMMY TRAINING,SIR!
    Oh, and one more thing, to the poor little PTSD PAO- about that “enormous” Air Force Senior Master Sergeant charged into her in a blind hysteria-” Listen little girl, I been mortared, rocketed, shot at, had cocktails delivered by Molatoff (sp)
    and had rocks, bottles and chunks of paving stones bounce of me, my Kevlar
    oh yeah, I couldn’t bug out to the pool… so if any body gets between me and cover tryin’ to save their well-earned slushy with incoming being delivered
    I’m gonna leave boot prints on their ass and THEN when the all clear sounds find them and stuff it up between the prints! As for the internet…what a bunch of whiners.. I ALSO remember haulin’ those big red nylon bags off C-130s stickin’ in a Duece or Humvee and drivin’ like a bat outta hell to drop them at some boondock post making you Army kids really happy. Send you a pic of the top right incisor…chunk is still stuck in my lower lip… after biting the defroster box, pax side front seat M1026 running barricade down Nicaraugua way… only rear area I had for 20+ plus is my ass, which brings me back to my opening statement.


    1. Ouch.

      So what do you think of this LT?


  9. Same thing I think of all new young LTs… shes a fine example of American Youth serving her country while aiming to be a major corporate VP in charge of Public Affairs by 30. She’s doing her stint in uniform to prove herself while getting Uncle Sam to pay for her college and experience. No kids before 35!and then, maybe one- preferable a girl, she can raise with the help of a “right-thinking” professional male as a partner. Maybe get into local politics later on to help guide the nation in the “best” direction based on her vast experience in uniform and in the boardroom. In other words, another maggot of Hillary Clinton or Nancy Pelosi. Oh, her hubby-to-be? Some balless wonder on the same track… Ms. Nicki- I saluted the rank everyday all day knowing no matter what – there’s a line of other ones just like her in the pipe no matter what. Always has been – always will, ever since Centurions trained shave-tail Equestrian Legates. Comes with the profession of arms. Ain’t gotta like it, the empire may be corrupt, but it’s still the best choice around.


    1. LOL! Good answer, my friend!


  10. out of all that I was happy to hear that you were called back to work.
    At St Vincent’s Hospital in Little Rock working long shifts in the parking garage as the attendant was a Black woman who always said as you were leaving….


    1. Thank you! Thank you for everything. I came into the office this morning, and everything is kind of crazy. Lots of people still furloughed. I’ll be working late for the next two weeks.


    2. +1 on Cole’s comment Ms. Nicki… so far missing out on “involuntary paid leave” has worked out for us Veterans Health Administration type government employees.


      1. So far the leave is unpaid, apparently. My boss informed me today that we likely wouldn’t be getting any sort of back pay for being forced out of our jobs. I’m OK with that, I guess, as long as I get paid for the work I actually do. Yeah, bills will be late, but at least I won’t be homeless. 🙂

        Hang in there!


  11. Good news, sestrichka!

    Also, that is just about the saddest waste of uniform I’ve ever read about. Still, truth be told, every army has them. Ours did too.


    1. Good news has been somewhat tempered, bratik! Looks like we’re working for free for now… 😦


  12. close the parks
    arrest the priests
    ticket the veterans trying to see their memorial
    default on the national debt

    but miss the first Social security and disability payments…………………….



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