NEWSFLASH (not really): Roseanne Barr is an ignorant twat!

Roseanne Barr – the porcine, brainless hag who has spent her time being a talentless, unfunny cunt in numerous media – has accused the US military of being on the “dole” in a Tweet that has left many of us unsurprised, but disgusted nonetheless.

And no, I’m not using the word “cunt” gratuitously. That is exactly what this wrinkled, old, oozing herpesaurus is.

Apparently, someone who is a military spouse, saw it fit to instruct this walking set of moldy meat curtains about the wonders of the free market.

Roseanne, who is fighting irrelevancy by making a run for the White House (yes, I’ll wait for you to stop laughing), got all butt hurt (and that’s a lot of butt!) and proceeded to accuse the lady of disrespecting a Presidential candidate (yes, I’ll wait for the peals of laughter to die down).

So she proceeded to claim that the military is nothing but a bunch of welfare hogs on the government dole.

The dictionary defines being “on the dole” as: receiving financial assistance from a governmental agency, such as a welfare agency.

Last I remember, being in the military requires actual work, which merits *gasp* a salary! And I’m fairly sure that it’s work this particular bag of stale meat couldn’t do on her (and I use that term loosely) best day.  How’s THAT for disrespect for a POTUS candidate, you moldy douchenozzle?

The taxpayers pay the military (not enough, in my opinion) to protect our borders and defend our Constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic. It requires more work and more intelligence than Roseanne could muster up in her heyday (of weighing 300 lbs. and mangling the National Anthem in a lame attempt at humor). Roseanne obviously has nothing but disdain for the American military, even as she runs to be its Commander-in-Chief (yes, I’ll wait for the latest round of guffaws).

Can you imagine this fat twunt in the White House situation room during the Bin Ladin raid?

ROSEANNE: Hey! Panetta! Bring me some of that bacon flavored pop-corn and a corn muffin! And some of those chicken wings too! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM  Now what the fuck are we doing here?

HILLARY CLINTON: We’re here to give the order to capture Osama bin Ladin, Madame President.

ROSEANNE: Who? Oh yeah! That guy that fucked up my falafel order last week at Shwarma R US!

DNI Clapper: No, ma’am. The terrorist.

ROSEANNE: Yeah! Right! The douche with the turban who overcharged me for my donut balls last week!

HILLARY CLINTON (clenching fist under table): No, ma’am. the man who murdered thousands of Americans on 9-11-2001.

ROSEANNE: Oh that guy! Why the fuck are we still trying to find him? Haven’t we determined that it was Bush’s inside job? Iraqi oil and all that shit? What the fuck?

LEON PANETTA: Madame President, we’ve been hunting Osama bin Ladin for ten years. He masterminded the 9-11 attacks. We finally have reliable intelligence locating…

ROSEANNE: Shut the fuck up, Leon! I don’t give a shit about bin Ladin! I want to know if we’ve legalized pot yet, cause I’m itching for a joint. THOUGHTFULLY Yeah… a joint would be great right about now, since I’m stuck in here with you stiffs. It would certainly make this more of a party! Hey, Cardillo! Go get me a fucking bong!

HILLARY CLINTON: Ma’am, the SEALS are about to enter the compound. We should watch this.

ROSEANNE: SEALS? Those welfare-receiving motherfuckers, who are on the government dole? Those SEALS? Why the fuck would I want to watch them?

LEON PANETTA: Madame President…

ROSEANNE: Didn’t I just tell you to shut the fuck up?  I already know that 9-11 was an inside job, and Hismamma bin Layin here is just a patsy! If you wanna punish the real criminal, fly the welfare sucking SEALS out to Texas and arrest Bush, bitch! Hear me? Now pass me that fucking bong!  And the ham and mashed potatoes! And the Doritos! This President shit is hard work!

2 responses

  1. Ooooo…. I could hear her nasally shreiking voice through every word of that script. Now I have to wash that out of my head. There’s not enough whiskey in reach for this….

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  2. Booze and Metallica. That should do it!

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