Monthly Archives: July, 2012

NEWSFLASH (not really): Roseanne Barr is an ignorant twat!

Roseanne Barr – the porcine, brainless hag who has spent her time being a talentless, unfunny cunt in numerous media – has accused the US military of being on the “dole” in a Tweet that has left many of us unsurprised, but disgusted nonetheless.

And no, I’m not using the word “cunt” gratuitously. That is exactly what this wrinkled, old, oozing herpesaurus is.

Apparently, someone who is a military spouse, saw it fit to instruct this walking set of moldy meat curtains about the wonders of the free market.

Roseanne, who is fighting irrelevancy by making a run for the White House (yes, I’ll wait for you to stop laughing), got all butt hurt (and that’s a lot of butt!) and proceeded to accuse the lady of disrespecting a Presidential candidate (yes, I’ll wait for the peals of laughter to die down).

So she proceeded to claim that the military is nothing but a bunch of welfare hogs on the government dole.

The dictionary defines being “on the dole” as: receiving financial assistance from a governmental agency, such as a welfare agency.

Last I remember, being in the military requires actual work, which merits *gasp* a salary! And I’m fairly sure that it’s work this particular bag of stale meat couldn’t do on her (and I use that term loosely) best day.  How’s THAT for disrespect for a POTUS candidate, you moldy douchenozzle?

The taxpayers pay the military (not enough, in my opinion) to protect our borders and defend our Constitution from all enemies, foreign and domestic. It requires more work and more intelligence than Roseanne could muster up in her heyday (of weighing 300 lbs. and mangling the National Anthem in a lame attempt at humor). Roseanne obviously has nothing but disdain for the American military, even as she runs to be its Commander-in-Chief (yes, I’ll wait for the latest round of guffaws).

Can you imagine this fat twunt in the White House situation room during the Bin Ladin raid?

ROSEANNE: Hey! Panetta! Bring me some of that bacon flavored pop-corn and a corn muffin! And some of those chicken wings too! OM NOM NOM NOM NOM  Now what the fuck are we doing here?

HILLARY CLINTON: We’re here to give the order to capture Osama bin Ladin, Madame President.

ROSEANNE: Who? Oh yeah! That guy that fucked up my falafel order last week at Shwarma R US!

DNI Clapper: No, ma’am. The terrorist.

ROSEANNE: Yeah! Right! The douche with the turban who overcharged me for my donut balls last week!

HILLARY CLINTON (clenching fist under table): No, ma’am. the man who murdered thousands of Americans on 9-11-2001.

ROSEANNE: Oh that guy! Why the fuck are we still trying to find him? Haven’t we determined that it was Bush’s inside job? Iraqi oil and all that shit? What the fuck?

LEON PANETTA: Madame President, we’ve been hunting Osama bin Ladin for ten years. He masterminded the 9-11 attacks. We finally have reliable intelligence locating…

ROSEANNE: Shut the fuck up, Leon! I don’t give a shit about bin Ladin! I want to know if we’ve legalized pot yet, cause I’m itching for a joint. THOUGHTFULLY Yeah… a joint would be great right about now, since I’m stuck in here with you stiffs. It would certainly make this more of a party! Hey, Cardillo! Go get me a fucking bong!

HILLARY CLINTON: Ma’am, the SEALS are about to enter the compound. We should watch this.

ROSEANNE: SEALS? Those welfare-receiving motherfuckers, who are on the government dole? Those SEALS? Why the fuck would I want to watch them?

LEON PANETTA: Madame President…

ROSEANNE: Didn’t I just tell you to shut the fuck up?  I already know that 9-11 was an inside job, and Hismamma bin Layin here is just a patsy! If you wanna punish the real criminal, fly the welfare sucking SEALS out to Texas and arrest Bush, bitch! Hear me? Now pass me that fucking bong!  And the ham and mashed potatoes! And the Doritos! This President shit is hard work!


Another Facebook Second Amendment debate

I got into it with another hoplophobic dimwit on a friend’s Facebook page tonight. This one is a Brazilian national who started questioning our “gun culture,” proceeded to ask a series of insulting questions about our Charles Bronson “fantasies,” accused us of being “cowboys,” and ended with the claim that we, Americans “creep her out” with our gun culture.

I suddenly have this disturbing image in my little box of a bunch of polite middle aged men exchanging pleasantries in a shooting range. Gun or no gun, you guys give me the creeps. Your false sense of security and safety is misguided. Having a gun increases the possibility of you, your aggressor, or your perceived threat to get injured or killed. Law enforcement authorities continuously warn that it is safer NOT to have a gun, and not to react to a robbery or assault. Had I had a gun on me the day they held a gun to my head, I doubt the outcome would have been good. What do you think you or I could have done, drawn a gun and started a shooting? Wasn’t it better just to raise my hands and let them take my wallet and the two dollars that were in it? Would that have been worth losing my life for, or killing some kid for? Within a couple of hours they was arrested by the police. I guess you walk around thinking there are people around you with the intent to kill you, but you know what? I truly doubt that. Unless you have a bunch of enemies, that threat does not exist, my friend. Come on…just admit it…secretly you would love to see a bunch of slow-moving zombies crawling out of their graves so you could exercise your precious right…..

I wasn’t going to get involved in the original discussion, but that last comment pissed me off. My reply in its entirety is here, and it also gives a pretty good overview of my views on gun rights in general.

@Renata – you know, I wasn’t going to address your questions, because everyone else did a good job of it, but now that you’ve decided to insult America’s culture and traditions not just by claiming we give you “the creeps,” but also spewing vapid and untrue generalizations about gun ownership, I feel the need to address your pathetic idiocy.

Let’s start with the fact that having the right to keep and bear arms is the sign of a truly free people. The fact that we have a founding document that acknowledges and PROTECTS this right from government infringement means that we the people have the right to armed rebellion should our government become tyrannical. This reason for the inclusion of the 2A can be found in the Founders’ earliest writings. They rightfully believed that should a government overstep its bounds, “The citizens must rush tumultuously to arms, without concert, without system, without resource; except in their courage and despair.”

That is the symbolic meaning of the right to keep and bear arms, if nothing else. And it makes us the bosses of our government, not the other way around like in most nations.

In a more practical sense, guns are used an average of 2.5 million times to save lives in this country. Many times they are merely brandished, and not even fired. When faced with an armed thug, I would rather be armed than not, because at least I will have had a chance against my attacker. I have cowered disarmed and have become victim of a rapist in a city that wouldn’t allow me to carry, and I can tell you had I been armed, I would have at least fought back. People like you, who cower at the very thought of taking responsibility for their own safety sicken me! People like you who are “creeped out” by those who refuse to cede accountability for their well-being and that of their loved ones are disgusting creatures who insist on cowering in a corner while a thug rapes or kills their children while waiting for the cops.

The armed culture creeps you out? I’m sure you’d be creeped out at the elderly Connecticut homeowner who shot an intruder who broke into his home and tried to bite him, or the paraplegic who would have wound up nothing but a helpless victim if not for his tool of self defense, or this elderly man who shot and killed intruders in Detroit after they broke into his home. I’m sure you’d have rather seen them cower and give their assailants everything they wanted. I’m sure you’d have rather had them grovel and beg for their lives.

People like YOU creep me out! People who don’t understand personal responsibility, courage, and the ability to fight for their lives. You sicken me, because you’re nothing but a cowardly sheep, and not worth any more of my time.

Time to start making calls, people

The Hill reports the usual suspects swine are trying to slip a high capacity magazine ban into the cybersecurity bill under the radar.

The authoritarian swine include Schumer, Feinstein, and NRA darling Kristen Gillibrand. In the wake of the horrific Aurora shooting last week, the opportunistic swine just couldn’t pass up their shot.

It’s time to call your Senators and tell them to vote down SA 2575, which would limit possession and transfer of magazines and other feeding devices to no more than 10 rounds. Do NOT allow these statist swine to erode your rights!

The vast majority of you have committed no crime with your high-capacity magazines. You have committed to crime with your semiautomatic weapons. But YOU will be the ones punished, while every thug will continue to purchase any magazine and other feeding device illegally and with virtual impunity.

Make those calls. Do it soon. Do it before they render the Second Amendment toothless.

Saint Bernard page updated

FYI – I’ve updated the Saint Bernard Rescue page at the top of the site with a new pup, whose story will break your heart, and whose face will capture it.

Best $24.95 you’ll ever spend

If you’re adventurous.

If you’re unafraid.

If you’re batshit crazy.

If you want to oog your dinner guests out.

This cookbook is for you.

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food.

This book hopes to change that.

Yes, the chef/author is a guy.  Yes, he has a website – and I encourage you to guess what the URL is without looking inside the cover!

Yes, it includes drinks.

Yes, there’s a man-made oyster recipe!

And yes, it includes the following sentence:  The joy derived from dining on these dishes comes primarily from knowing that the semen is in there.

Bon appetit!

h/t Mike

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