Dear Mr. Mirman,

You are awesome!

How many people would take the time and effort to perform corrective action for a cable company that can logically and rationally be compared to a cannibal or Stalin? Not a whole lot.

That’s why I so appreciate the full-page ad you took out about Time Warner Cable.

Did you know that on Yelp, Time Warner Cable has one and a half stars? That’s less stars than Jeffery Dahmer — who killed and ate people, maybe even had sex with their skulls (I don’t really know). Obviously what I’m saying is untrue, because Yelp does not review serial killers, but if they did, his babaganoush would be better than yours, if you both made babaganoush, even if his drugged and murdered people. Sorry that got weird. F**k you. I just made you read that confusing thing.

Kudos, sir!

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