Monthly Archives: August, 2008

Sarah Palin for VP

My friend Rachel has developed a huge girl crush on Sarah Palin, and who can blame her?  Palin is a solid conservative (although, the whole “marriage between a man and a woman” bullshit really turns me off, as I can’t understand how anyone with half a brain believes government should somehow be allowed to sanction any relationship between two consenting adults), pro Second Amendment (probably more so than McCain), fought corruption, advocate of reduced spending and has enough understanding about energy policy to disagree with McCain and advocate opening the ANWR to drilling.

And she’s hot.

And she’s courageous enough to take on corruption and government spending.

And she likes guns.

Hey, I like this chick, don’t get me wrong. 

But there’s definitely an interesting discussion going on at Rachel’s about this.  While I like the lady, I do have my concerns about her lack of experience.   Here’s part of my concern:


I understand your reservations. I haven’t done the research, but I’m
willing to bet that during the history of the United States, there have
been any number of Vice Presidents who have been woefully unqualified.
I’d further bet that there were a lot of them who were less qualified
than Palin.

I’m sure we can think of a number of VPs who have had little to no
experience. However, we are living in some seriously perilous times,
and now – more than ever – we need a VP who can handle foreign affairs,
who makes the effort to understand the rest of the world and why
national leaders do what they do, their history, politics, culture and
heritage, and who can help formulate national policy and more
importantly national security policy taking all that into account.

Unfortunately, Americans understand very little about the rest of
the world. I love this country, but we have developed a certain amount
of arrogance vis-a-vis our role in the world. We don’t understand why
Greece blocked Macedonia’s entrance into NATO. After all, it’s just a
name. We don’t get why Serbia won’t let Kosovo go. After all, it’s a
shitty little, garbage-strewn hole. We don’t understand the true
underpinnings of why Russia went into Georgia, or why Georgia acted to
put down the S. Ossetians. We don’t take the time to study our enemies,
and we don’t take the time to know our allies. And in this time when
globalization has tied our world together, having leaders who get it is
absolutely critical!

The question you have to ask yourself is this: If
McCain/Palin wins the election, and McCain kicks the bucket on
Inauguration Day, would you rather have Palin as President, or would
you prefer that Obama had won?

I haven’t made up my mind about Palin as far as her national
leadership ability goes, so I really can’t answer that question. Would
I prefer a true conservative to a scrote-sniffing Marxist? Of course!
Would I prefer someone who understands economics, national security and
foreign policy? You’d better believe it! I guess we’ll see how things

As I said, interesting discussion.  Join in if you can.


Damn computer! Ruined my Obama rant! (UPDATED!)

So I just spent several hours writing a long fisk of Obambi’s speech.  The computer went “KAPLOOEY!” and I lost everything.  I’m pissed.  This thing is supposed to autosave my entries every two minutes.  It didn’t.  My article was brilliant (or at least thorough and probably incredibly long-winded).  Now, I’m merely going to tell you what I think of Obambi’s speech in a few short paragraphs.  If the system manages to somehow rescue my lengthy post from the depths of cyberspace hell, I’ll post that, but in the meantime, here’s the long and short of it.

First, the fact that the Anointed One bristled at the McCain ad comparing him to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, while addressing his drooling acolytes from a Mt. Olympus-type stage designed and built by Britney Spears’ set designer is the height of irony.

Second, the promise not to use the same old “partisan playbook” to attack McCain, while railing on him about his “stubborn refusal” to finish a mission in Iraq that we are finally winning and “stubbornly refusing” to admit that the surge has worked is the height of hypocrisy.

Third, telling Americans that fulfilling America’s promise “will require a renewed sense of responsibility from each of us to recover what John F. Kennedy called our “intellectual and moral strength,” while increasing the size of the nanny state to protect those who were too stupid to have the foresight to get a fixed home loan, too fiscally irresponsible to control their spending and too stubborn to alter their driving habits until gas hit more than $4.00 per gallon is the height of stupidity.

It’s not the government’s responsibility to restore personal responsibility or moral strength.  But if it was, do we really believe that coddling those who were too stupid, irresponsible or shortsighted to stay out of financial trouble, by sucking more earnings from the rest of us and bailing them out time and time again is the answer?  That doesn’t foster personal responsibility or moral strength.  It promotes a dependence on the nanny state, and that’s what Democrats are really good at.

And by the way, cutting taxes is not the President’s job.  Creating jobs is not the President’s job.  Investing in alternative fuels is not the President’s goddamn job!  He can certainly exert executive influence and push for change, but ultimately, that’s why we have the balance of power.  It just ain’t up to him.  So when he tells you:

Unlike John McCain, I will stop giving tax breaks to corporations that ship jobs overseas, and I will start giving them to companies that create good jobs right here in America.

I will eliminate capital gains taxes for the small businesses and the start-ups that will create the high-wage, high-tech jobs of tomorrow.

I will cut taxes – cut taxes – for 95% of all working families. Because in an economy like this, the last thing we should do is raise taxes on the middle-class.

And for the sake of our economy, our security, and the future of our planet, I will set a clear goal as President: in ten years, we will finally end our dependence on oil from the Middle East.

He will do no such thing, and those promises are empty and stupid.  As President he’ll be able to sign off on or veto legislation passed by Congress, and he’ll be able to exert a certain amount of influence on the legislature, but if he truly thinks he’ll sell the “I’m your savior and the ultimate impetus for HopeAndChangedness” mantra to me, he’s stupid AND a liar.

And by the way, while keeping AK-47s out of the hands of criminals is a noble goal, it won’t happen without infringing upon the rights of the rest of us.  If he has a problem with that assertion, he needs to look up the definition of “criminal.”  By implication that means someone who won’t bother undergoing a background check when getting a weapon.

Oh, and considering that the average unemployment rate during Bill Clinton’s first seven years as president was 5.37 percent, while the average unemployment rate during George W. Bush’s first seven years as president was 5.18 percent, I wouldn’t shout too loudly about how “We measure progress in the 23 million new jobs that were created when Bill Clinton was President …”  I don’t consider that progress.

In other words, oh High Priest of HopeAndChangetude, the rock star atmosphere of your address, the fireworks, the gigantic set and thousands of clueless, half-catatonic nitwits who worship the soiled toilet paper wad you used to wipe your ass this morning, won’t change the fact that despite your charisma, you’re still nothing but a Marxist charlatan.


I hate computers.

UPDATE THE FIRST:  D. Martyn Lloyd-Morgan has an interesting piece, fact checking the platitudes with which The Savior of Marxist Thought wowed his brainless devotees.  He mirrors a lot of what I said in the rant my computer ate, but with less vitriol and sarcasm.  I don’t think Martyn has discovered the joys of using the word “douchenozzle” to describe politicians yet.  Enjoy.

UPDATE THE SECOND:  Misha does a SUPERB fisk of the speechExcellent quote:   Question, regarding the “discredited” notion of trickle down economics: When was the last time your paycheck was signed by a welfare client?

Phrases I never, EVER want to hear on the radio early in the morning

As I’ve written before, a big part of every morning for me is listening to the news and planning out my day in my head.  At 0500, as I hit the highway, there’s no traffic, peace quiet, and dark.  I generally drive fairly fast, because… well… frankly, I don’t know how to abide by the speed limit.  I must be missing that gene.  It’s an illness… a disability, really.  I should really be given a reprieve and one of those blue handicapped stickers, explaining my affliction.  Um…

In any case, what would be the one phrase that would literally make me almost drive my car into a ditch early in the morning while doing 85 mph on a deserted highway?

How about “frozen ferret semen.”  Yep.  That’ll do it.  Frozen. Ferret. Semen.  Thanks, WTOP!  I really needed to hear that particular phrase early in the morning!

It’s a cute little booger, though, isn’t it? 

While I’m highly disturbed by the actual phrase, “frozen ferret semen,” when all I’ve had to eat this morning is a roasted red pepper and four olives stuffed with garlic (yes, Frank you can gasp in horror now and tease me about my horrible eating habits later, while you tell me how you prepared a gourmet breakfast for yourself this morning, making me consider tying you up, kidnapping you and chaining you up in my kitchen), I did learn a new phrase today, while doing research on why, exactly, frozen ferret semen is newswothy:  semen cryopreservation.  What they did was cryogenically preserve ferret sperm and inseminate a female ferret to create the little ball of fur you see above.

If this is the start to my Friday, I’m frightened to consider what the rest of the day will look like.

Firearms hottest selling item in Louisiana

Three years ago today, we were getting ready to deploy to Louisiana in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina along with thousands of other National Guard troops from all around the country.  We didn’t exactly know what to expect.  I remember thinking, after watching the histrionics on the news, “Will I have enough ammo?  Is one M-16 enough?  Should I sneak my own firearm?”  I didn’t, and it turns out what we had with the unit to which we were attached was plenty.

The folks in New Orleans weren’t so lucky.  Paranoid, tyrannical athoritarians went around confiscating weapons, because they somehow didn’t feel safe “allowing” the peons to defend themselves.  They rendered the people defenseless after one of the biggest natural disasters ever to hit the U.S., while hordes of armed thugs roamed around with impunity.  They needed guns… apparently not just to defend themselves against the vermin that took advantage of the chaos, but also from the vermin that tried to wield their authoritah! over them by rendering them incapable of effectively protecting themselves.  Those who weren’t forcibly disarmed by the “law” just didn’t prepare for the kind of bedlam that reigned after Gaia flattened the New Orleans shithole. 

But not this time, Nagin.

They can be taught, apparently.  And they know that neither you, nor your morally corrupt and cowardly police force, will be able to protect them in the event of another catastrophe.

“I just left a sporting goods store and you would think that the number-one selling item would be plywood or potable water or gasoline right now,” he said. “Apparently it is AR-15s and .223 ammo. I watched at least 20 people buy AR-15s and cases of .223.”

When we arrived in Belle Chase, we had a meeting on a not-so-abandoned tarmac, so the Louisiana JAG could explain the Rules of Engagement (ROE) to us.  We were told specifically that the people of Louisiana had the right to keep and bear arms, and unless we were witnessing a crime being committed, we were to disarm no one.  A few days later, we read in the news that the populace was being forcibly disarmed.  I guess maybe the JAG should have had a meeting with Nagin and his goons.

I’m glad the people are beginning to realize the importance of effective tools of self defense.  Maybe they’re not “assault” weapons after all, eh?  Maybe, just MAYBE, they’re basic tools needed to survive in an anarchical environment just filled with statist abusers of power. 

Oh… wait… isn’t that why the Founders included the Second Amendment in the Bill of Rights to begin with?

People are stupid, and that’s why my nickname is “Misanthropic Bitch”

My friend Rachel and I were surprised to discover a few months ago that we both described ourselves as “Misanthropic Bitch.”  Well, maybe “surprised” is a bit of an overstatement… we were pleasantly startled at the coincidence.  My hatred for humankind is generally well-concealed, after all… I’m normally quiet and contemplative about my fellow man, and I would never react emotionally to the stupid things human beings do… Nor would I laugh at them.

Now, if you believe that one, there’s this tall metallic tower-like structure in Paris… it’s for sale.

In any case, Rachel elevates ridicule of asshattery to an artform.  I merely curse a lot, mostly because my anger at being stuck on this planet with imbeciles such as this.  And since I haven’t done a post in a while about just how stupid the human race, on the whole, really is, I think it’s time.

A man trying to siphon gasoline touched off a fire this morning that destroyed a van and damaged a townhouse, the Valley Regional Fire Authority reported.

The man was using an electric vacuum cleaner to siphon gas from a 5-gallon drum into his work van in the parking lot of an apartment in the 31300 block of 107th Place Southeast in Auburn. The activity sparked a fire, which quickly spread under the van.

Electrical device + highly flammable material + festering yambag = FAIL

Rachel, who is just starting school to earn yet another degree and hates math almost as much as I do, will appreciate this simple math problem.

And speaking of school subjects… my best one was English, by far.  I loved to write, and because I came to this country knowing no English whatsoever, I tried extra hard to make sure that I learned well.  That’s why it makes me cringe to no end when I see error-riddled missives and badly-written reports from people who should know better.  I told Frank that one of the reasons I like him is because I don’t cringe and want to set fire to his notes, emails and texts every time I read them.  The other reason is because he has guns, but I digress…

So, the Smoking Gun has a copy of a police report detailing a break-in at a business.  Oh. Dear. God.  Do these public servants actually ever FINISH elementary school?  My Redhead would be horrified!

Was the “T” key broken on this guy’s computer during the typing of the narrative?  And what the blazing hell is a “booked shelf”????

And can I just ask why this asshat is still allowed to swim in the gene pool?  Where the hell is the chlorine to flush this guy out?

A delivery truck driver said he had been robbed at gunpoint Tuesday afternoon while attempting to put a large amount of cash into a safe at the back of the vehicle.

But authorities were suspicious, since there didn’t seem to be any witnesses and the driver couldn’t say what the robber looked like. After further questioning, police said the driver confessed he was the one who actually stole the money.

And while we’re flushing the gene pool, can we also ensure that these TSA nimrods get caught up in the stream of chlorine?  Please

For Kates, on Sunday, though, the security check got too invasive. A big-busted woman wearing a large underwire bra, she set off the metal detector. She was pulled aside and checked by a female TSA agent with a metal-sensitive wand.

“The woman touched my breast. I said, ‘You can’t do that,’ ” Kates said. “She said, ‘We have to pat you down.’ I said, ‘You can’t treat me as a criminal for wearing a bra.’ “

Kates asked to see a supervisor and then the supervisor’s supervisor. He told her that underwire bras were the leading item that set off the metal detectors, Kates said.

Being of the well-endowed female variety, I wear undewire bras.  Luckily, mine have never set off metal detectors anywhere.  I’m imagining you have to be wearing something the size of a hammock with enough metal in there to rebuild a busted knee on an infantryman to set the damn things off.  Or maybe, the TSA just wanted to cop a feel.

Hey, I’m a vet.  I’ve been trained how to properly do a personnel search, and yeah… it does include feeling them up in some pretty private places.  During training I once found a weapon and some cash in a “suspect’s” large braissere by grabbing the underwire, pulling it away from her body, and shaking her goodies out of the “D” cups, along with the contraband.  I’m not shy.  (Alright boys… you can take a short break and take care of business with that visual imagery.  Done?  Good.)

However, I do think this is going too far.  We’re not in a hazardous duty area.  And if the supervisor acknowledges that underwire bras often cause a problem with their particular equipment, maybe it’s time to tweak the equipment.  What’s next?  Anal probes behind an opaque screen?

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